Tales of The Awkward
by S-Chrome
Summary: Before there was 'unbridled romance' between teen heroine and goofy sidekick, and sometime after 'wholesome friendship,' there was that shaky, tenuous, and awkward middle ground. These are their stories. *DUN-DUN.* Now, completed, against all odds.
1. Fear The Birthday Suit

Tales of The Awkward  
By S-Chrome

Disclaimer: We're all properties of Disney. So let's all go to Disney World... DisneyLand for those of us who aren't _that _fortunate.

* * *

It's not like he didn't know what was going on. 

He was dense, for sure, but he wasn't that dense.

As much as he didn't want to admit it, he was in the clutches of growing up, and his best friend of over a decade, Kim Possible, was growing up as well... and _out_ for that matter. Ron Stoppable found it very difficult to simply ignore the leers that she got from the boys when he and herself strolled through the hallways of Middleton High. And upon further review, he couldn't blame them... Heck, every so often, he would find himself gawking while she wasn't looking. Hopefully, he thought, while she wasn't looking.

It wasn't exactly something that the blond sidekick was proud of, but what the heck? He was a teenage male _dead _in the middle of puberty. Just about anyone who didn't have an Adam's Apple was attractive to him. Fortunately, Kim was a lot more than someone with an Adam's Apple.

Last he checked, she was his best friend, and likewise. So just imagine if he got caught...ogling.

The blond cringed fearfully. He had to make absolutely sure nothing would happen between himself and her that would be classified under 'awkweird' ever... In life... or at least until this phase blew over, which had to be about two or three weeks, give or take.

Right?

* * *

_Three Months Later _

It was supposed to be two or three freaking weeks. It had been three months (Or at least, that's what the caption had said.) and Ron was still finding himself attracted to Kim. He was still nervous about being alone with her... and right now, the nervousness level had been magnified by about thirty, perhaps thirty-five, give or take. It would have been at a normal gawky teen level had he insisted to stay in the living room... He had knocked on the Possible's door no less than ten minutes ago, expecting Kim to be ready for their next mission.

Answering the door was Mrs. Possible, an adequately attractive woman herself. He had shaken his head at the time, now really wasn't the time for that.

"Good afternoon, Ron," She greeted. "Kim is upstairs changing,"

That was the first thing that caught the young man by surprise. But it wouldn't be the last as he stepped inside the two-story home.

"She just came out of the shower, go on up," The brain surgeon said, ushering him to the staircase.

Excuse me?

The color rushed out of the teen's face. Why in the good name of the Naco was Mrs. Dr. P. divulging this classified information? And why did she want him to go up there? Shouldn't she have said something like... 'Ron, you should stay here in the living room,' or something like that? Instead of trying to figure it out himself, something that he would probably have a success rate of zero doing, he attempted to defuse it altogether.

"M-Maybe I should stay here," He stammered. The break in his voice made it sound like a question moreso than a statement. To steady his composure, he tried to ease himself against the banister.

From a short distance away, he heard the unmistakable swish of the daily periodical. That had to be Mr. Dr. P, and maybe with some luck, he would agree. He knew how the Possible patriach felt about boys, and he was certainly a boy! A check into his trousers would reinforce that fact.

"Quit dawdling, Ronald. Kimmie-cub's expecting you," The rocket scientist commanded in his easy-going voice.

The blond nearly lost his grip on the banister. He looked at Kim's mom, wide-eyed as well as mouth agape. What was the deal? Was he not a boy? From the information he was given, this man's pride and joy may have been _stark naked_ up there, and he of all people was given free reign to check it out? Either K.P.'s parents had an enormous amount of trust in him, or they had both simultaneously lost their minds.

Right about now, as the blond reminisced about what took place fifteen minutes ago, the latter was making a lot more sense. The last five minutes were spent pacing around the narrow hallway. What was going on here? How did this even happen? Why didn't he take Rufus with him this day? And... Where on _Earth _was his inhaler?

Wait... He didn't have an inhaler.

But his heart was racing, and his breath was short. All this because of this... kind of a privelege that he thought would NEVER be given to anyone in life... And he didn't want all this? Noooo thank you!

Hang on... Did he?

He kept pacing fervently. What if Kim _was in her birthday suit in there? _That would be so... Disgusting?

Waiiit a minute... Disgusting?

He had a vision of the auburn-haired girl fully undressed... he had health class, he had a fairly good idea what the female anatomy looked... and oh man... Why the heck was visualing his best friend naked? And above all that, why was there a fast-developing bulge in his cargo pants? He tried to will himself into thinking disgusting thoughts... Like maybe Drakken in a thong... Senor Senior Jr. in a thong? Good gravy! Despite his efforts, the visions would go back to the prospect of an undressed Kim...

"Oh man..." Ron groused as he stared at his newly formed trouser tent. Why did bad things like this happen to people like him?

_Oh yes... Because he was fifteen years of age, and the obsessions of the opposite sex had a crushing grip on him... He guessed it was only natural to begin thinking of..._

His very well-thought out explanation was broken when a door opened. Out of it barrelled Jim & Tim, the annoying younger brother of Kim. Well... They _were _twins... But they may as well have been the same person. Heck, Ron had trouble distinguishing one from the other in any case.

"Ron, what are you doing in the hall?" One asked, who was had on a green t-shirt.

"And... what's that in your pants?" The other asked, who wore a red tee.

The clinical diagnosis of Ron's condition was classified as "Severe Critical Temporary Shutdown Syndrome," or SCTSS. While it was more prevalent in females, it happened to a lot of males. Due to absolute, utter, and complete embarrassment, Ron could not manage to speak, move, or even lose bodily functions. Though, the third would probably be forthcoming before the others.

"Wuuuh, Guuh... I... Wuuh... Ehh,"

Instead of finding the unintelligible gibberish confusing or annoying, the twin boys laughed it off.

"You're funny, Ron," Jim chuckled.

"Keep going!" Tim urged.

If there was anyway that Ron Stoppable could turn this ridiculously awkward situation into some modicum of a positive, then why the heck not?

"Uh... Guh... Wha," Ron faked.

The boys continued to laugh at the blond's abject silliness. That is, of course, until another door creaked open.

"Tweebs, what did I tell you about... _Ron?_"

* * *

busted (**bust·ed) **_n - Slang Term. _

An arrest or raid

* * *

Yep... That was the word he was looking for. He didn't dare turn around. He was already caught with his pants down. No... caught with his pants hanging... No... Caught with something stiffin his pants. Yeah, that's about right. Was he about to let his best friend see him in this state? His current state of... unknown hardness? 

_No buddy... I don't think so. _

_"Eh... heheh,"_ He chuckled sheepishly, his back still turned away from her.

"Uh, Ron... Is there something wrong?"

The boys had went bad to their room in a hurry. Ron, on the other hand, was still just about frozen in his spot. He turned around slowly, hoping, and-a wishing that he wouldn't see anything that he shouldn't.

_'Three... Two... One.' _

He whirled around to see Kim... Fully clothed. The sidekick let out a lengthy exhale. The apocalypse wasn't occurring... At least not now.

"Eh... Nothing, KP. I was just waiting for you to uh... Not be naked."

* * *

_Critical Error 110B: Slip of the tounge._

_Expect total destruction and catastrophe._

* * *

Ok... Hold that thought on the apocalypse... Maybe it was coming today. 

The redhead stared at him in wide-eyed confusion... Then shrugged it off. She had heard weirder things come out from his mouth before, and what he said a moment ago probably wasn't going to be the last.

"Uh... Yeeeah. Thanks for the privacy," She said in an ambigious tone. "Anyways, let's go..."

Ron was surprised... Total exoneration? How about that? He trailed closely behind her as they left the house. Perhaps things wasn't as awkward as he thought it was. As teen heroine and sidekick waited for their ride to arrive, however

"By the way, Ron. What was that in your pants? I thought you kept Rufus in your pocket."

_Son of a...

* * *

End of Chapter One _


	2. The Grisly Murder of Routine

Tales of The Awkward: Chapter Two

* * *

Does anyone know what routine was? 

Well, most would say the same old, same old. Some liked it. Others loved it. Some didn't like it. Kim Possible is of the ilk that happens to be fine with good ol' routine. Same old high school. Same old exemplary grades. Same old cheer practice. Same old putting Bonnie in her place. Same old saving the world from psychotic mad scientists and green women... And so on, and so on. Little did the girl with red hair realize that on this day, routine was going to be taken for a little ride, hog-tied, taken to the back alley, beaten over the head repeatedly with a blunt object, and left for dead.

Today, she was busy breaking and entering her same old locker on a same old Monday morning when her same old crush, Josh came strolling by.

"Hey, Kim," The mellow artist greeted.

Naturally, Kim had her same old reaction to her same old crush.

"Hiiii, Josh," She said slowly. She felt like she had more to say to him, but he had walked off. Time always seemed to quicken up when he was around her. So she did the same old routine when that happened; stare at the artist's cute heinie as he ventured toward his destination.

Don't we all just _love _routine?

...and don't we all just love the word 'heinie?'

"Enjoying the view?"

Kim knew the voice coming from behind her, it was her same old best female friend, Monique. It's good that it was. Just imagine if it was anyone else catching her staring at the young artist's _bodacious bootae_. Yeah, just a tad bit embarrassing.

"Oh, hey, Monique," Kim replied, a nervous flush disappating from her face. "What's new?"

"I'll tell you what isn't; you and that boy," She joked. "For someone who saves the world almost on a daily basis, you'd think you would be able to squeeze a couple of sentences in his presence."

Monique had her dead to rights, as usual... Why did she have to be so gosh-darn perceptive all the time?

"I know," She confessed, her eyes staring at the fine and shiny linoleum floors. "But hey, we're still sophmores. There's still time, right?"

"Same old excuse," Monique admonished, shaking her head.

See? Same old routine and the status quo. Josh walks by, says hello. Kim is absolutely too awestruck to string a couple of sentences together. As a result, Kim stares at Josh's firm and fine backside. Monique attempts to set her straight. Advice goes in through one ear and out the oth...

"Hey, ladies," A smooth male voice said.

Monique was the first to turn and see who it was.

"Hey, wooooah"

"Hey," Kim said normally. She was still busy at her locker and didn't get a look at the boy who was saying hello.

"Hiii, my name is Monique," She introduced. "I'm a sophmore, a Taurus, an aspiring actress, and..." She yanked the unknown boy's hand and pulled him close to her. "...a firm believer of love at first sight," She whispered seductively. From a foot or two away, Kim was curious to know who this guy was who stoked Mo's fires so quickly.

"Come onnn, Mo. It's me, Ron," He whined.

"Ron?" Monique said, squinting her eyes. "_What are you doing looking all good_?"

Ok... Ron looking good? The redhead quickly shut her locker and whirled around to see this.

Monique was right. She was almost certain she was not looking at the same person she always knew. He didn't look any different physically, but he certain did look good. Instead of his trademark red shirt with black turtleneck, he had on a black golf shirt (Nope, no alligator logo on the top left, he wasn't a rich man.) His in-style circa 1998 baggy cargo pants were replaced my more fitted khakis, and to complete the ensemble (the what?), his normal Air (Urr) Force None's were axed in favor of casual black low-top sneakers. Probably Scratchers _or whatever the hell you call em... K-Alps?_

Kim looked him over once more, and even more slowly. She wasn't exactly believing her eyes at this point. She took a look at the top of his head... Here was a scoop; his hair wasn't unkempt. It was actually... kempt!

The redhead was dumbstruck, or was she struck dumb? She couldn't believe her eyes. Her best friend was looking good... In fact, real good.

"OK, Ron. What's the occasion?" She asked suspiciously.

"No occasion, K.P. I figured my old stuff got a little old. So I raided the ol' closet and this is what I came with," He explained calmly. "Besides, it kinda works for me, doesn't it?"

Before she could surmise an answer, Monique chimed in. "Yes, Yes it does."

"Yeeeahh, what she said," The redhead, issuing the fashion store clerk a slight glare. She wanted to delve deeper into this change of pace, but a certain ring restricted that.

"Later, ladies. Gotta get to Italian, capice?" He said, feigning an accent of a mobster.

"Oh, Ron, you're soooo funny. Say, can you walk me to class?" Monique said in fully valley girl tone as she trailed the now somewhat attractive blond.

The teen adventurer was shocked at this turn of events. An attractive Ron? Heck, she had to admit it to herself. This definitely wasn't routine or the status quo. This was not the same old, same old. She knew in the back of her mind that routine must've been hogtied, beaten over the head repeatedly with a blunt object, and left for dead somewhere.

She just hoped that the culprits would be brought to justice.

The next couple of days bought little change. In fact, as the days went by, more attention of the girls began to shift over to her clumsy sidekick. Well, at least he was still clumsy, wasn't he?

* * *

_Thursday, March 16th, Cheerleader Practice, 4:30PM  
Middleton High School, Middleton, United States of America  
All work and no play makes Jack a virgin  
All work and no play makes Jack a virgin  
All work and no play makes Jack a virgin  
All work and no play makes Jack a virgin __

* * *

_

_"M-A-D! D-O-G!"_

The fine, and elite eight cheerleaders did they're thing on the vacant basketball court under the watchful eye of Mr. Barkin. Amidst acrobatic cartwheels, splits, and pom-poms all over the place, six of the eight began to tough practice of doing ... (gasp)... the Pyramid. It took surgeon-like precision to get this scheme correct. Tara, Crystal, and Maggie formed the base. Bonnie and Liz successfully created the center. Kim was ready to take her place at the top. She made a running start, did a somersault that would make Jackie Chan jealous had he not been so old, and made it to the top. To an outside observer, it looked like she had stuck the landing. Buuuut...

"Whoa... Whoa..." Kim murmured as she tried to keep balance. She thought she had had the landing. Ugh... she must've been distracted. Either that, or Bonnie had a very light lunch today.

Either way, the head cheerleader was beginning to teeter at the top, which was sending a nasty sway throughout the all-girl pyramid.

The laws of physics... or whatever science it's called tells us that without a well-defined and firm base, the top will topple... Which doesn't seem to apply to Jessica Simpson...

Ergo, down went the pyramid, and down went Kim.

Distraction had never had such a nasty consequence.

The auburn-haired girl had her hands out in front of her as she was about to have an impromptu meeting, or should we say _collision_ with the newly waxed hardwood floor when something... or _someone_ swooped in and caught her at the last minute.

_Meeting cancelled._

All throughout the fall, Kim had her eyes closed. Until she realized what had happened, she kept her eyes shut. When she had realized that she was being cradled, she exhaled in obvious relief.

"Whew... Nice save, Mr..." Her eyes fluttered open.

"_Ron_!"

"K.P. A-Are you OK?" He asked, his voice strangely soothing to the redhead. She was speechless, as were the other cheerleaders who were tangled up in an otherwise hideous pile up. My goodness! How could he have done that? He was way away from her last time she checked and just like that, he catches her as she's about to make a nasty touchdown with mother Earth? Unbelievable! This meant that... Ron wasn't as clumsy as he used to be...

Shock!

Awe!

Signal of The Apocalypse?

* * *

**Surefire Signs of The Apocalypse:  
**_1. Fire rains down from the sky_

_2. The world is plunged into eternal darkness_

_3. Jesse McCartney's career as an actor is a success.  
__  
4. Ron Stoppable is no longer clumsy._

* * *

After realizing that it was her sidekick who made the heroic effort, she did what any teen heroine would do. 

If you thought scream, you thought wrong.

If you thought faint, you were close, but wrong.

The term our panel was looking for was: Black Out.

Kim blinked her eyes several times. Why were the lights so bright?

"OK, She looks fine," A female voice said as she took the flashlight away from the redhead's weary green eyes.

She had gathered that the voice was the nurse. A few murmurs came from around her. What had happened to her? All she had remembered was that Ron had saved her from a horrible fate and that the apocalypse was coming. She raised up to see most of her fellow cheerleaders, with the exception of a couple, had formed a circle of concern (so to speak) around her. OK... She was fine, and the girls seemed to be relieved, but where was...?

"K.P.!"

Before you could say 'pulchritudinous', Ron had raced over and smothered her in an embrace. The rest of the cheer squad cooed and awww'ed at the blond's sudden affection.

Kim was at a loss, even more so than before. What was even more confusing was the fact that while Ron's hug was making it hard to breathe, she didn't want to have it end at the given time.

"Ron... P.D.A.!" She managed to croak out.

"Ohh... Sorry," He uttered, a slight flush of embarrasment on his face. "Y-You really scared me back there," He said, his brown eyes staring a hole into her sole... or is it soul?

_Yeah, the latter._

She must've been feeling faint again, as a feeling of sudden warmth began wash over her. This never happened before... Not with Ron, anyway. What madness was going on here?

With a deft lift from the blond in question, Kim awkwardly made it back to her feet. The rest of practice went on without further incident. That led to a stroll through the neighborhood. Neither Kim or Ron spoke much. This led her to believe that maybe her sidekick was just as nervous as she was. Heck, it was the best that she could hope for at this point. She was also surprised to find that they passed Bueno Nacho, Ron's favorite... fast food joint.

"No Bueno Nacho today?" She asked.

"No way, K.P. I've gotta get you home," He said, the concern still in his voice.

While that was nice... She was fine, she guessed.

"That's sweet, but I'm fine, Ron."

"Well, either way. I'm not feeling Bueno Nacho-y right now. It will be my honor to escort you home."

Darn it! Ron had walked her home thousands of times before, and now it was his _honor_? _Grrr_... What was this? _Charm? Coming from Ron Stoppable...Just about the most tactless boy in the tri-city area?_ She was thinking that, but the boy's sincere smile made it a tough task to hide the developing flush in her cheeks. What was going on this week? Why was Ron sooo darn different this week? Where the heck was Rufus? And... Why is it so warm? It was March! Early March!

She knew that one of these days, Ron was going to become a bit more mature. But this was 0 to 60 in like... three seconds.

"That's... really... sweet of you, Ron. But I'm fine."

"You're all red, K.P. I don't think you are."

_Well, maybe if he wasn't around, maybe she wouldn't be so red._

"I'm... fine... Ron," She said through gritted teeth.

"Uh-uh," He said with a shake of the head.

"Uh-huh," She insisted.

"Uh-uh,"

"Uh-huh."

**(And they say the art of conversation is dead. I mean, did they figure that out all by themselves, or did they need a cheat sheet?)**

"Ron, I really am OK."

"Oh yeah? Well, what happened back there, then? That doesn't happen like... ever," Ron said of the incident just a little over an hour ago.

"I was just... thinking too much, that's all."

"Oh, really?" He asked with a knowing grin. "Thinking about Wild Mankey Love then, yes?"

"No!"

"I bet you were."

"No, I wasn't."

"Yeeees you were."

"No, I wasn't!" She almost yelled, startling the blond. "I was thinking about you!"

_Oops...

* * *

Critical Error 110A: Feminine slip of the tounge. _

Forecast: A fairly good amount of tense eyeballing with a 50 percent chance of severe awkward silence.

* * *

Critical Error 110A: Feminine slip of the tounge. Critical Error 110A: Feminine slip of the tounge. Critical Error 110A: Feminine slip of the tounge. Critical Error 110A: Feminine slip of the tounge. _Critical Error 110A: Feminine slip of the tounge. Critical Error 110A: Feminine slip of the tounge. Critical Error 110A: Feminine slip of the tounge. Critical Error 110A: Feminine slip of the tounge. Critical Error 110A: Feminine slip of the tounge. Critical Error 110A: Feminine slip of the tounge_. 

"Oh," Ron muttered.

Well, now that the proverbial cat was out of the bag, she may as well elaborate on it.

"Ron, look at you," Kim began. "I mean... Last week you barely were able to walk straight, let alone stand up straight. And now... You're not clumsy, you dress different... and... well... I didn't expect you to change overnight..."

"Kim, I didn't change... I'm still the same ol' Ron... I haven't been clumsy because..."

Whilst the redhead wasn't buying this, Ron was beginning to dig...

"...Eh..."

Still waiting.

"I... had a good week. Yeah, a good week," He gathered. "B-But I'm still the same old Ron."

She looked at him and smiled. A little reassurance went a long way. Ten seconds after he let it sink in... Surprise! His fresh pair of jeans falls down.

"Eh... See? Same old Ron," He said sheepishly.

It was rather impolite to laugh at someone else's misfortune. Obviously, Kim didn't get the memo. She let out a hearty laugh as Ron scrambled to pull his pants back up. The teen heroine's suspicions and fears were quelled for the moment, which was good because they were about a block away from her house.

It was good to get things wrapped up before she got home and really thought about stuff.

As they got to the front door, the odd feeling of anxiety crept back within her. They must've stood there for a couple of minutes before either one said anything.

"Uh... I guess this is... last stop," Ron said, his left hand massaging his neck.

"Y-Yeah. Well... Seeya later, Ron."

"Later, K.P.," He said.

She was glad that this was over, now she could focus on...

_Smack_

_Oh... No. _Did Ron just...?

Before she knew what happened, Ron was waving at her from down the block, and she was tracing a spot on her cheek where her best friend just... kissed her.

With her heart pounding much like it did an hour or so ago, she ran into the house, up the stairs without so much as a 'good afternoon' to her mom and dad, continued the march to her room and promptly locked the door.

It was obvious that Routine and the Status Quo were both ruthlessly murdered. She didn't know what was going to happen next between herself and her best friend but she definitely knew one thing...

It was ridiculously hot...and she was about due for a shower.

* * *

End of Chapter Two 


	3. Popular Stoppable, Part 1

Tales of The Awkward: Chapter 3.01 (Popular Stoppable)

* * *

His message to her replayed back and forth, over and over and she tried to believe in his words. It was probably the most reassuring words that she had heard from him that week.

_'I'm the same old Ron.' _

It was almost endearing the way his slacks fell down on cue when he said that. She was almost convinced that he was the same goofy blond that she knew no less than two weeks ago.

Now if only the girls of Middleton High realized that.

Back in the 'same old Ron' days, the boy was a little better than an extra-strength girl repellant. These days, however, Monique and herself weren't the only ones that began to take notice of the former bumbling sidekick, but a handful of girls began to turn their heads at the sight of his as well. Not just the Tara's and the Penny's of the world that had liked him long before he decided to make a 'small change,' as he described it, but the more established ones, the more popular, the ones on the upside of the Food Chain began to turn an interested eye toward the blond.

For instance, a girl with long blonde hair and fairly nice features gave the sidekick a nice hello the other day. Thing was, Ron didn't even know the girl. Out of just being shocked at the greeting, the sidekick still gave her a wave. The redhead had to smile in spite of the strange happenings. He certainly was attracting more girls, but darned if he could understand them, or talk to them for that matter.

'I'll get used to it,' Kim thought as she turned out the light. It had been a long weekend... Why make it longer staying up thinking about changes that she couldn't control?

* * *

Of course, not everyone was impressed or believing that the sidekick had turned over a new leaf. The spearhead of these nonbelievers was none other than...

..._OK, Take a wild guess._

"The tags say 'name brand', but he still says 'I'm a loser'," were the discouraging words of one Bonnie Rockwaller, the perennial discord distributor of Middleton High. Her entourage exchanged giggles and murmurs throughout the circle. Perhaps it was coincidence that Ron was overhearing this conversation on his way to Math Class. His first inclination was to simply ignore this blatant assassination of his character. Then again, that was what he had used to do... He really didn't feel like doing it again. What he really wanted to do was tell her off. That would have given him a thrill, but at what cost?

Strangely enough, his third impulse was to bash her face in with a skillet, but since he didn't have said skillet on his person, that was out of the question.

He followed his defeatist first motion and ignore this. Besides, karma always came back to haunt people. Didn't it?

_"What do you know? If it isn't the textbook definition of the term loser!" _

* * *

**loser (**loo·zer) _n. _

_1. One that fails to win _

_2. One who takes loss in a specified way _

_3. One that is bad in quality _

_4. The Boston Red Sox_

_5. The Buffalo Bills of the Early 1990's_

_6. Ned_

_7. Ron Stoppable_

* * *

Of course, this incited more annoyance from the blond. Why couldn't she just let him be? How could someone so pretty be such a pain in the... rear? The laughs of the hangers-on tweaked him even more. Forget about ignoring her... It was time for the Ron-dawg to stick up for himself.

Shooing away the pangs of doubt that stuck itself to the pit of the boy's stomach, Ron cleared his throat loudly enough for people to hear and let it rip.

"Oh yeah, Bonnie?" He challenged. "Well _you _are the textbook definition of a prissy, stuck-up, self-centered, gold-digging, snooty, conniving _Ho-Bag!"_

The shockwaves! The consternation! The sheer unpredictability of it all! If only the students of were prepared for such an outburst from the outcast. If they had only knew the frustration that lay dormant in the now active Ron Stoppable! If only Bonnie had known about trying to put out fires with gasoline.

_If only Ron had actually said what he was thinking._

_(Reeeeeewind)_

The laughs of the hangers-on tweaked him even more. Forget about ignoring her... It was time for the Ron-dawg to stick up for himself.

"Oh yeah, Bonnie?" He challenged. "Well you are the textbook definition of..."

Why did everyone stop what they were doing to look at him? The sidekick gulped. They all stared daggers at him as if to say "What's he doing sticking up for himself?"

"...The textbook definition of what?" Asked Bonnie. One hand cocked on hip.

Now the boy was getting hot under the collar. Was he going to rise to the challenge and say what he had always wanted to say to this prissy, stuck-up, self-centered, gold-digging, snooty, conniving _Ho-Bag?_ Or would he simply shrink away?"

"Eh... The textbook definition of... a strikingly beautiful young woman that has no business acknowledging losers like me," He said in full retreat mode.

Whoever didn't think the latter was going to have a bad time with his or her bookie...

Amidst heckles and the catcalls of 'coward' and 'loser' that he received from the mindless sheep, Ron continued to Italian class. The strange thing was that he did manage to silence the brunette... Maybe she finally decided to lay off of him.

* * *

It had been a long, long, _long_ weekend for Kim Possible, from the eye-catching exploits of her best friend to two (Count 'em), two solo missions on the day before. She knew she was going to have a tough time this Monday. It had already begun when she woke up about forty-five minutes late to class.

She was reprimanded on the spot by Mr. Barkin and was let off with a warning. You would think a globetrotting super-heroine would catch a break every once in a while, but no. Not in high school.

Second period was right around the corner, so she waited for the bell to ring... and indeed it did. The herd of students passed by as the bell continued to sound off. She was waiting for Ron. Strangely enough, he never came. So, with a shrug, she went forward to her next class... Being late once was enough for one day. As she got to the stairway corridor, she felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Hi," The person who tapped her, a girl greeted.

"Uh, Hey," Kim said uneasily.

"...Aren't you Kim Possible, the..."

"...teen Superhero? Yeah that's me," Kim said. It was kind of unlike her... But a good ego stroke could do wonders for your day.

"Oh... yeah, that too. But... Aren't you Ron Stoppable's best friend?"

"Yeeeah," She said, not exactly liking where this was going.

"Have you seen him?"

"No. Not yet."

"Oh," The girl said in a disappointed tone.

OK... This was definitely not something she would expect from the 'Same Old Ron.'

"Well, when you see him can you tell him that Alexis said 'Hi?'"

"Sure," She said with ever-narrowing eyebrows.

The black-haired girl went about her business leaving the auburn-haired girl about as confused as a blonde in a Chemistry class. Alexis? Who the heck was Alexis? Where did she come from? And why in the world did she want Ron to know that she said 'Hi'? These probing questions swirled around like hurricanes in the Atlantic. This might have been the beginning of what she almost feared... Ron was an extra-strength girl repellant no more.

Not because she was jealous, mind you. But think of what the advances of these girls would do to Ron's ego... That alone could make his ego rise to unbelievable and gargantuan proportions... He may even start calling himself something gregariously stupid like "The Playa President" or "The Ron" or something along those lines.

She shuddered. This week could potentially be even more strange than the last two.

Oh yeah... and she was late to class again.

* * *

The redhead kept her emerald green eyes locked on her best friend in their third period class. In the past, they used to have almost every class together. This semester, however, they only had two. She never would have thought in ten-thousand years that she would be keeping tabs on the blond throughout the day. What made Ron the flavor of the month? It couldn't been just a simple change of threads, could it? Nah... Girls couldn't possibly be _that _shallow.

**(Stop laughing, S-Chrome!)**

It was Creative Writing class too... which meant that there was very little instruction, and a whole lot of socializing.

A couple of rows away a blond was simply trying to mind his own business... trying to keep a firm handle on the assignment, even though it was ridiculously commonplace.

'Write about something that you will do over the summer'... Boy... It was about to be April and the teachers were already mailing it in.

With pen in hand, he wrote down the things he would do... or at least hoped to do.

* * *

1. _Not _go to Summer School: I've been down that road before... and it tanks.

He wasn't going to go into detail, but this very same English teacher was the reason that had him in the Prison with No Air Conditioning in the first place.

2. _See the fireworks on the fourth of July_: It's almost like tradition. Every year on the fourth, me and...

His concentration was broken by a paper ball of some kind, hitting him square in the back of the head. Of course it didn't hurt or make him wonder who the heck threw it because it happened in every class, every time. Thus, he ignored it. Minutes later, however, he was pelted with yet another paper ball. Oy... Why couldn't he ever be left to his own devices... Why?

He picked up the piece of paper. How great would it be if he was to partake in the throwing of the paper... It was so juvenile, and yet... high-schoolers still did it. And... wait... was there writing on that paper? He let his curiosity get the better of him as he un-crumpled the piece of paper.

From a fair distance away in the back of the classroom, Kim saw that Bonnie was throwing paper balls at Ron. Why couldn't she ever get off of his case? Did her bubbling, boiling hatred toward her have to spill over to her best friend? She was just about to let the brunette have it...

..._'Did you mean what you said earlier today?' _

The blond was confused... which was a frequent occurrence. He had no idea who this was. That is, of course, until he saw the bottom of the sheet.

_-Bonnie. _

Bonnie? Bonnie Rockwaller? His chocolate brown eyes went about as wide as they could go upon reading that very name. He hadn't been this surprised since Three Six Mafia won an Oscar.

..._Well, it was hard out here for a pimp_... But that wasn't the point right now.

Was the blond going to be given a reprieve for what meant to be harsh words earlier today?

Boo-Yah.

With a quick scribble of 'Yes', Ron crumpled the piece of paper and airmailed it back. Within about a minute, another paper ball hit him in the back of the head. Apparently, people like Bonnie enjoyed pelting him with objects. Shrugging off the pelting, he unwrapped the new ball.

_'That's sooo sweet. Maybe I was wrong about you. Come over to my table at lunch.' _

_What a turn of events this was... He stared for what seemed to be an eternity at that piece of paper. Did this mean that he was no longer the hated outcast of the school? Could it be? _

This had to be some kind of dream or something... He pinched himself repeatedly... Yep... It was reality indeed.

'Bonnie's table... Wow...,' Ron thought. The place where all the popular people sat at, the pretty girls, good portion of the cheerleaders were there too... and… the guys who played for the teams, and things of that nature.

_...Things of **that **nature!_

On the other side of the classroom, Kim was confused. What exactly was Ron doing picking up rubbish that was just thrown at him? She guessed that she would find that out later at lunch.

* * *

Where the heck was Kim? The blond searched far and wide... He pondered what he was going to do with this rendezvous with the cool table... He had no clue how to act around these individuals. Well, they weren't individuals. They were kinda like all the same people with differing faces, bodies, and the like...

...Then he remembered, Monday was the day that Kim went to Chemistry Lab instead of Lunch. It looked as if Ron was on his own on this one.

He never thought much of being popular, because he knew that he was never going to be accepted by those elitist pigs... But, now... Things were different!

The blond pushed the door open to the cafeteria. He had never been so nervous to go into the lunchroom since that fateful day the lunch lady served both Mystery Meat and Mystery Salad in the same afternoon, though this time his stomach was doing a bit more belly-flips. Slowly, he made his way across to get lunch... Certainly, he could stand on his head and cook something better than this 'prison food' as he liked to describe it, but it was the only thing there at the moment as his pockets were about as light as a feather... Maybe lighter. As he grabbed the tray, which was Spaghetti & Meatballs (or so it seemed), and went on his way to his usual table. That's when he heard that sound...

"Ron... Over here."

That was indeed the voice of Bonnie... And... She sounded inviting... and she actually acknowledged him by his first name! Were the words that he said that eloquent and profound? And... what did those words mean? Taking a deep breath, and using newly found balance to keep his tray falling on the onset of the brunette's voice, the sidekick ambled to her table.

* * *

Indeed, even teen heroines didn't get a break in High School.

Kim didn't even know that there was fifth period detention... until now, of course. The redhead shook her head... What was even weirder than the blond turning over a new leaf was the fact that had been slacking off in her classes. She also didn't know that one could get detention for excessive latenesses... Of course, she knew that now also.

She was definitely distracted by Ron, but why? He had never caught her attention like this before, not even when he had that new hairstyle a year or so back. Was this one of the ills of puberty? Was this reason why she got so red in the face when she was around "The New Ron?" Was that the reason she suddenly got so warm when he gave her that impromptu peck on the cheek a couple of weeks back?

It had to be... It couldn't be anything like attraction... That would be so, sooo very sickening.

She made her way into the cafeteria, and saw that Ron wasn't at their usual place. That was weird... Where could he possibly be? Ron would never miss an opportunity to eat... even if the food was god-awful, as he described it.

The auburn-haired girl surveyed from left to right and right-to-left once again. She was about to give up on her search when she spotted him.

He was at Bonnie's table, actually _conversing _with the people at that table.

She almost felt faint... This was getting even weirder by the millisecond...

* * *

To Be Continued 


	4. Popular Stoppable, Part 2

Tales Of The Awkward: Chapter Four (Popular Stoppable, Part 2)

* * *

_A Critical Recounting of Past Events  
1. Ron Stoppable changes up style. Allegedly dumps _'_Never Be Normal' mantra in favor of being... Well, normal._

_2. Monique, and worldly-known teen superheroine, Kim Possible begin to take notice._

_3. After bungling cheerleader-themed pyramid manuever, Kim falls into the arms of one smooth-er and more graceful Ron Stoppable. The Apocalypse is coming._

_4. The aforementioned Ron Stoppable kisses Kim goodbye. Kim feels hot afterward, but for what reason?_

_5. By some strange turn of events, Ron is seen by Kim at rival Bonnie Rockwaller's table._

_6. The sky is falling..._

* * *

"Uh, Kim? Are you supposed to stare that much without blinking?"

It was hard not for the redhead to keep to boring a hole through the table located about fifteen feet away from her. What in the heck was Ron doing fraternizing with Bonnie and the rest of the Snooty Army? She didn't mean to totally ignore what Monique was saying to her from across the table, but this was critical... seriously critical. The sky was the limit on how much the brunette would do to attempt to corrupt her best friend. She had to stop this... immediately. Didn't she?

She watched the blond say something to the brunette, who giggled good-naturedly. The redhead's left eye twitched involuntarily... It was almost like that girl forgot that the boy she was talking to was _Ron Stoppable_. To say that Kim was outraged was pretty much on-key. Her mouth gaped open when she saw what happened next; he whispered in her ear... and Bonnie giggled even more. This time, her right eye twitched.

"Is all of that eye twitching healthy?" A curious Monique asked.

Kim shot her best female friend a look that said something like: "Shut up or you'll get the brunt of my jealous rage." As expected, Monique shrank back.

What could they possibly be chatting it up about...?

* * *

"You know what, Ron? You're not so bad," Bonnie said, impressed with this new incarnation of the blond. Once again, he was flabbergasted to hear his name being called from the brunette... Twice in one day.

"Does this mean you're not going to call me names anymore?" He asked.

"Of course I won't... as long as you don't revert. If you do, all bets are off then..." She said with a girlish giggle.

Ron chuckled right back, although forcedly.

_'Riiight... Ho-Bag...'_

With nothing more left to say, the blond got up from the formerly forbidden section and was prepared to disappear to his usual spot. He hoped that no one saw him there... That would lead all kinds of confusion. Before he took his first step, however, his hand was grabbed by Bonnie.

"I almost forgot...," She said, handing the blond a piece of paper. "This is an invitation to Brick Flagg's Spring Break Bash, which is Friday at 8PM... As you may know, everyone that's considered everyone will be there."

"Actually, I didn't know," Ron said.

"...Anyway... Since you're somebody now..."

"...Wait a minute, I _am_?"

"Of course you are... _I _said so," The brunette laughed, giving the boy a playful punch on the shoulder. Sure enough, Ron winced in pain. "Now... You can invite a friend or whatever..."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Was that so? The blond was courageous enough to come over to this table. So why not try something insane?

"Soooo, Bonnie... I've got an invitation to Brick Flagg's..."

He was stopped by the brunette's uncontrollable snickering.

"...What?"

"You may not be a loser anymore, Stoppable. But I'm _still _way out of your league," she said, affectionately pinching the boy's freckled cheek.

* * *

OK... She was crossing the line now...

"What is she doing?" An outraged Kim asked whoever would listen.

"It looks like she's pinching his cheek," Monique stated.

"I _can see_ that!" Kim snapped. "But... Why?"

"The better question is why do you care? You're acting like a jealous girlfriend."

_Gasp! Outrage! Slander! Scandal!_

"_What _did you say?" The redhead asked, fully unleashing her outrage.

Monique clearly wasn't backing down. Did she ever? _"You heard me, girl. A jealous girlfriend..."_

* * *

**jealous **(jel-es) adj.

_1. Fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position._

2. Resentful or bitter in rivalry; envious: jealous of the success of others. Inclined to suspect rivalry.

_3. Having to do with or arising from feelings of envy, apprehension, or bitterness: jealous thoughts._

_4. Kim Possible, April 4th, 12:32PM_

**girlfriend **(gurl'frend') n.

_1. A favored female companion or sweetheart_

**_2. A female friend._**

* * *

"I am _not," _Kim said defensively.

"Yes you are," Monique replied.

"It's just that I'm concerned... Who knows what Bonnie said or did to him over there. Can't I just be concerned for my best friend?"

"Yes. Maybe without the eye twitching, give or take."

"Grrrr..."

"Look at you. You're all red in the face and you still haven't taken your eyes off of them. I don't think you're concerned. I think you're jealous," The black-haired girl concluded with unconvinced crossed shoulders.

_"So not..." _The teen super-heroine said through gritted teeth.

* * *

"Oh well... Well, eh... I'll be going now," The sidekick said, as he attempted to hold back a slight blush.

"See you on Friday,"

"Yeah... Friday..."

He was genuinely surprised by the countenance of Bonnie. Hmm... For a short moment in time, he actually understood why everyone else _didn't_ consider the cheerleader as a prissy, stuck-up, self-centered, gold-digging, snooty, conniving Ho-Bag... In fact, if one was on the 'right' side of her, she could be quite nice... which he still didn't agree with in any case.

He surveyed the lunchroom, and was surprised to see Kim at their usual spot. It may have been the astigmatism, but if he wasn't mistaken, she looked as if she was upset about something. He hoped that she didn't see him over there... That would cause a myriad of misunderstandings... But he also figured that she wouldn't have too much problems with it. So as if no one noticed, he took a seat on the circular table. About three to six seconds later, however...

"What were you doing over there?" Kim asked in about six layers of intense anger.

Uh-Oh... busted. And by the way his best friend sounded, it sounded like a little more than a problem.

"Uhh... I was... eh, talking to Bonnie about... stuff," He explained nervously.

"What kind of stuff?" She grilled.

"Uh... I don't know... regular stuff?"

"Regular stuff, huh?"

"Y-Yeah..."

"Then what was that piece of paper she gave you... Was that her _number?_"

"What? No!"

Viewing this back-and-forth, Monique was amazed how fast the redhead's moods can change so quickly. She was in a fairly pleasant mood about up until she saw Ron at _that _table. She went from normal, to suspicious, to outraged, to downright psycho, all in a matter of forty minutes.

"Then what was it?"

"It's... nothing."

"Really?"

"Yes, K.P. You've got to believe me," he said desperately. "I wouldn't hide anything from you...I'm the same old Ron, remember?"

Almost like that, the red-haired girl snapped back into reality. She uncrossed her arms, the redness in her face subsided, her voice, formerly rife with concern and _not jealousy,_ now calmed down.

"I'm sorry, Ron," she said guiltily.

Instead of fanning the flames and asking why she had been so nosy in the first place, the blond decided to refrain from it and spare himself from the prospect of extra grief.

"S'OK, K.P. It's not everyday you see your best friend conversing with the enemy," the blond said with a wink.

The expression on the redhead's was one of relief. She then gave a cheeky sneer in Monique's general direction as if to say; "Hah!" Monique simply shook her head.

* * *

Just a few hours ago, Kim was about to shoot through the roof after watching the interaction between her best friend and supposed rival. Why was she thinking so much about it now?

The late afternoon glare of the sun made the redhead shield her eyes. What was it that made her outraged to see it? Was she a bit too concerned? It had to have been that, because regardless of what Monique said to her hours ago, she was definitely_ not _jealous... Not jealous of Bonnie, or... that Alexis person, or any of the girls that the boy had been approached by in the last few days.

Right?

* * *

_Minor Error: 322 - Insecurity _

_Treatment: Ask mother for advice. _

* * *

With that thought in mind, she rose up from her desk and went downstairs. Luckily enough for her, there was her mother in the kitchen, preparing dinner.

"Hey, Mom," she asked.

"Good evening, Kimmie. What's new?" The brain surgeon asked, her back turned away from redhead.

The teenage girl shuffled around. Was it really safe to divulge this information to her mother?

"Um... Well... Something different happened at school today," she said tentatively.

"Really? What happened?"

"You know how I told you about Ron?"

Mrs. Dr. Possible did remember, in fact, she got a first-hand look at the new Ron a few days ago. She was impressed by the change of her daughter's best friend. By the way that her daughter reacted, it looked like the blond had changed for a little more of a reason than the need for changes.

"I do admit he does have a new look about him. Did anyone notice?"

"Did they? It's like they forgot who he was! This girl asked for him and she didn't even know who I was..."

She didn't mean it entirely, but as Kim continued to rant, the older redhead began to let her drift her thoughts from what her daughter's rants to other things... Like her wonderful husband, James. He was always so calm in the face of adversity, even back in the days when they first met. It was something about him that made her so attracted to him in the first place. Well, that, and his wonderful, cute, tight...

"...and Monique said I was jealous! But I know that I am not jealous... and I do not like Ron that way."

Whoa... Wait a minute... jealous? Liking Ron that way?

While Mrs. Possible was a brain surgeon, she did know a good deal about psychology. It sounded right now that her daughter was very much in denial.

"Mom?"

'Wow,' the elder redhead thought. She thought about the very real possibility of her daughter Kim, liking her best friend.

That would be so sweet.

"_Mom!" _

"Oh... Sorry, Kim," the surgeon said. "I was just thinking about..."

Kim saw a strange gaze in her mother's eyes. It almost looked as if she had a dreamy look about her.

"Oh, No... You don't think I _like_ Ron, do you?"

"No-No-No," Mrs. Possible said hastily, trying to hide the look on her face.

"It's just that you two would look kinda cute toget--"

Kim would hear none of it. She quickly took off back upstairs. So much for help from mom... Apparently, she was going to have to tackle this problem by her lonesome.

As the days drifted toward Spring Break, Ron Stoppable's mental makeup drifted toward inescapable anxiety. Other than bar mitzvah's and weddings, he had never been to such a large social gathering before. He didn't look like he was under the hot light, but he could have told you otherwise. He made his way down the road that led to Middleton High when he felt a hard pound to his shoulder.

With his nerves, or lack thereof, the way it was, the blond must've jumped six feet in the air, followed by taking a defensive stance.

He was met with a slight chuckle. Apparently, there was something to be said about people landing a frying pan for a hand on one's shoulder.

"Whoa, Stoppable-dude," a young man's voice said to him. "Go easy on the caffeine."

The blond opened his eyes to see the brawny form of Brick Flagg in front of him, along with Bonnie at his side. What was up with that?

"Oh... Hey, Brick..."

"Ahem."

"...a-a-and Bonnie," Ron corrected.

Brick just stood there, before the brunette gave the burly blond an elbow to his side.

"Oh... Yeah... We just wanted you to know that we're officially hooked up... I guess." He said.

Bonnie elbowed the quarterback once again.

"I mean, er... officially hooked up," he said, correcting his error.

It didn't exactly surprise him that they got together. What with Brick's popularity for being a star quarterback, and Bonnie's thirst to be the best. It was almost like those arranged marriages that they have in those third-world countries. Only question was why they were announcing this to him right now.

"That's awesome. But, why are you telling me?"

"Uhhh... Bonnie, why _are _we telling him?"

He got another elbow.

"What, babe? I don't know..."

With a huff, the brunette dragged the clueless QB off. The blond was confused. Was that one of the breaks that came with being a part of the upper crust of the school's hierarchy? If so, popularity was totally overrated.

Overrated or not, he was still nervous.

* * *

_It's Friday Night... That Friiiday Night  
And maybe if I'm lucky, things'll turn out right  
Or maybe it won't, and maybe I'll just crash  
And people will say I was that stupid a--  
_  
**Ding-Dong **

The boy broke out of his little self-deprecating spiel to answer the door. It was Kim, a very dressed up Kim, a very dressed up Kim who was surprised to see a very dressed up Ron.

"Ron?"

"K.P.?"

Not exactly awkward situation between the duo, but a bit confusing nevertheless.

"You're looking sharp, where are you off to?"

Hmm... There goes that white-hot light again.

"Uh... Well..."

With foot-shuffling hesitance, Ron got to explaining.

"Remember that piece of paper that Bonnie gave me that you got so worked up over earlier this week?"

Grrr... Her suspicions were right! She _did _give him her number! That conniving little... She would do anything under the sun to try and get under her skin... even to these depths! How low could Rockwaller possibly be? Well, she already knew at this point. Oooh... Wait until Monique heard about this... and she _was _going to hear about this one... Thinking that she could be jealous... Inconceivable!

Maybe Ron wasn't exactly Mr. Perceptive, thus he didn't know, or exactly see that his best friend's countenance was deteriorating from 'calm' to 'Head for the freakin' hills, she's about to explode.'

"...Yes," Kim said through gritted pearly whites.

"...Uh... Well, if you didn't know already it was..."

* * *

_Could a girl's face truly turn tomato red? Find out on our next exciting edition of Tales of The Awkward which begins... _

_Riiiiiight now. _

* * *

"...An invitation to Brick Flagg's Spring Break whatchamawhozit," the blond confessed.

"Oh..."

_This look of surprise has been brought to you by the letter 'O', because conclusion-jumping could be very bad for a teen's blood pressure._

That's all that Kim could manage. Once again, as if someone dumped cold water on a grease fire, her facial features returned to normal. After a little more silence, the redhead spoke up.

"You got invited to Brick Flagg's party?"

"Yeah... Bonnie deemed me as 'cool', so there I go," the blond said with a shrug. "Surely, you've gone before."

"Actually, No,"

"Really?"

"Really," Kim said seriously. "I never went because you were never invited. What fun is it without my best-est best friend, huh?"

Yep... Ron was convinced. He had the best-est best friend in the whole world. She was like the rock that he had to stand on. Wait... That didn't come out right. It might have been 'crutch...'

"So... uh... you wanna come with?" he asked.

With a friendly smile, Kim nodded, which quelled a bit of Ron's jitters. Maybe this night wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

Minutes later, the duo found themselves at the door of Brick Flagg's house. One look at the house, and the ostentatious cars in the driveway told one everything he or she needed to know about what the Flagg's status was. And if that didn't tip said person, here it is in layman's terms: Dude's family is freaking loaded, yo.

Even the look of the football player's digs had the blond in knots.

"Will you look at the--"

"It's just a house, Ron. A large house with three or four Ferraris in the driveway," Kim said as if what she was seeing was run-of-the-mill.

"Actually, I think two of those are Lamborghin--"

"Whatever... Let's just go in."

"Are you sure? Maybe we can stare at the--"

As usual, the redhead had to pull the hapless blond along with her. The loud music could be heard from the outside, thus, there was very little problems with finding the right address. Ron tapped at the door fastidiously, which in response, got him no answer.

"You're really nervous about this, aren't you?"

Ron nodded. This was strange to see... She had never seen the blond so self-conscious before.

* * *

_Pep-Talk Time, Volume II! _

_

* * *

_

"Ron, they're just teenagers, like you or me,"

"Thanks, mom," Ron quipped.

Kim sighed. "You've got people's attention this week. So what's to be afraid of?"

Valid, but Ron wasn't convinced.

"But--"

"No buts, Ron. Your motto used to be 'Never Be Normal,' and now you're changing it up on me?"

"Uhh... No... not really," he mumbled.

"So what's this? You actually care now what these guys think?" She asked in a challenging manner, pointing to the house that they had yet to enter.

"No." Ron said halfheartedly. Naturally, the domineering redhead wasn't buying his answer for a second.

"Really? So why are you all 'ooh I'm soo scurred'?"

Scurred?

"I'm not scared," he replied. "I'm just cautious."

"Ron, w_hen Alex Rodriguez is at bat with runners in scoring position, he's cautious _-- **You **are scared," she retorted.

**_Ooooh... That was below the belt. _**

**_"Yeah, well... What about--" _**

Kim knew where this was going. So, like last time, she shut the blond down.

"For once, it's not about me - it's about you, Ron," she said, the serious-as-a-heart-attack tone returning to her voice.

"Is it?"

"_Yes,_" she urged. "Just be you... If they can't like you for that, then you have no business being here."

Why did it seem that every one of Kim's words were sage to Ron. She must've listened to her parents more than he did.

"So if I just be me, you think they'll like me?"

"Well, _I like you._"

* * *

_Oops... _

_Error... Wait.. You know which one it is. _

* * *

"...You know, as a friend," she quickly said, cleaning up the mess she made.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he said. Instead of tapping on the door, he rang the doorbell. It didn't seem like it was there before. Instantly, the door opened.

"Who--? Ron! There you are..." the voice of one Bonnie Rockwaller as she greeted him. "For a minute I thought you went all 'loser' on us again."

"Me? Loser? Never... Again..." Ron said sheepishly.

"And you bought... Kim," The brunette said flatly. "Hey, Kim." She said coldly.

"Evening, Bonnie," The redhead greeted, returning the chill.

"Anyway, come on in, we've been expecting you," she said, dragging the blond the into the large house. Kim sighed... This had the potential to be one long night.

* * *

Ron wasn't exactly the center of attention, but boy, was he darn-near close to it. Talking, laughing, joking... dancing with a inordinate amount of girls. If one thing was true, it was the fact that he was a bon-diggity dancer.

As for her, Kim was comfortable playing the background, until...

"Kim. Didn't expect you to be here."

The redhead turned to the side. Josh. She remembered Josh very well. He was that handsome boy that she had the hugest crush on before all these Ron shenanigans began.

"Hi, Josh," she said, the familiar dreaminess in her voice absent.

Maybe this night wouldn't be such a wash after all. Just as the girl and the artist were about to immerse themselves in teen-related conversation and flirting, a familiar sounding beep coming from her pocket went off.

Ugh... Wasn't that always the way? Whilst Popular Boy was living it up on the dance floor, Kim had a mission to partake to.

"Excuse me a minute," she said to the fledgling artist.

She made her way through the large kitchen and out of the side door of the house. Once out of earshot and view, she pulled her trusty Kimmunicator.

"Sitch me, Wade," she said.

The aforementioned Wade popped up on the other end of the pocket-sized monitor.

"I just got a hit on the site... There's a heist going on at First Upperton Bank," the pre-pubescent computer genius said. "The Upperton Police hasn't been notified yet..."

"Sounds like an inside job," the adventurer said.

"Just what I was thinking... I can get you a ride in ten."

"Thanks, Wade. You rock," she said, giving the third member of Team Possible the over and out. Duty called. She found it regrettable that she couldn't hang around for, but she figured there would be other times for that. As for Ron... He probably wouldn't notice her leaving. He'd be all right.

* * *

He had only been here for about ninety minutes or so, but he concluded this little shindig had been more fun than a barrel of monkeys... Well, not monkeys. Monkeys were scary and evil. OK... So it was more fun than a barrel of clowns... Clowns were fun, right? Good music, pretty girls, and most of all, good friends. Now that he was away from the floor, he had to go over and thank Kim for that little talk that they had before they came in.

He scanned the room from left to right. No sign of Kim. Where was she?

He checked his watch, which read 9:45. It was a good hour and change before her curfew. She wouldn't just jump up and leave like this.

Ambling his way through the rest of the partygoers, he was about to check upstairs when a familiar face caught his eye.

Josh Mankey. He didn't know Josh went to these types of things. That is, until he saw the artist and his best friend conversing about ten minutes or so back. Despite the fact that he did see them from the corner of his eye, he couldn't shake that familiar pang that he gpt when he saw them together.

"Yo... Josh," He called

The brown-haired boy narrowed his eyes as if he didn't know of the guy who was calling his name.

"Ron? Ron Stoppable?"

_No... Ron Reager, the sidekick thought. Sheesh, whatever did Kim see in Monkey boy anyway...? _

**_The Million-Dollar Question _**

"Yeah, that's me," he said. "Have you seen Kim? Last time I saw her, she was with you."

"She said she had to step out for a minute. She's probably outside."

"Outside... Thanks, _Monkey_."

_"What?"_

"Mankey, I said, Mankey," the sidekick said, correcting his intentional unintentional mistake.

He found his way out of the inordinately large living room and into the kitchen. What a kitchen it was! What with the granite countertops, and the sweet dishwasher... More importantly, there was side door in an alcove to the right. That must've been where Kim slipped out.

"Going somewhere?"

The voice was certainly familiar enough. It was just a matter of turning around to face the brown-haired cheerleader who was a couple of meters from him.

"You're not leaving already, are you?" She asked, a slight pout forming on her pretty face.

"N-No," he replied shakily. "Just need to get some uh... fresh air. Yeah, that's it... fresh air."

"OK," The brunette said with a smile. "But come on back, we're playing 'Spin the Bottle' upstairs."

The blond just about lost his grip on the doorknob. Bonnie giggled playfully.

"Wha--Really?"

"No... just toying with ya." With that, she went back from whence she came.

Ron uttered a long exhale. If they were doing that upstairs, the search for Kim could wait. As he walked outside, he surmised that she had be around somewhere. Wait a sec... There a figure with red hair at the of the driveway. Figuring that it was her, Ron rushed on over.

"Hey, K.P.!"

Yes, she knew more than a dozen styles of martial arts and had the reflexes that bordered on feline. Still though, the teen heroine still jumped about six feet in the air.

"Oh..." She took a moment to catch her breath. "It's you, Ron."

"K.P., I was looking all over, what's up?"

"Nothing major... just a small mission in Upperton."

"Oh... When's our ride coming?"

"Our?"

"Uhhh, yeahh, I'm coming with you."

Ehhh... Wasn't he having the time of his life back there?

"You don't have to go," Kim insisted.

"Yeah, I don't have to... but I want to." the blond replied.

"Why?"

Ron was thinking hard... Sure, he was having a good time there... However.

"Uh... Well..." he began. "Some things are more important than this..." He said, thumbing over to the packed house.

"Like what?"

"Like.. Say, tagging along with your best friend on a mission... even though it's 'nothing major.'"

"So wait... Let me get this straight. You'd rather fight freaks with me and lose your pants than party with those guys," she asked in disbelief.

"Oh... I don't know... _Yes," _the blond answered with a smirk.

The dark night did a good job of hiding the extra-strength beam that was on Kim's face. "All right, you pulled my leg."

Moments later, their ride pulled up, and both entered the vehicle. The car sped off in a hurry.

She wasn't going to let it show directly, but she was genuinely touched by his words. Sure, he looked a little different, but he was certainly the same old Ron to her. He was still a bit off the pace and goofy, however, he was still the fiercely loyal, charming, and at times, sweet boy that she was used to. That warm feeling she got weeks back washed over her once again, but this time, there was no complaints.

The redhead took a look at her sidekick in the back seat. He was fast asleep and lightly snoring.

Yeah, she had nothing to worry about

* * *

End of Chapter Four 

Liked it? Hated it? Got love for Windows ME? Review... and stuff.


	5. Back & Fourth

Tales of The Awkward: Chapter Five: Back & Forth On The Fourth (Of July)

Chrome Notes: Yes... We are all aware that it's a month or so after the fact... Your point being?

* * *

As far as Ron Stoppable was concerned, this was the finest time of the year. 

School was coming to an end, the heat (and humidity) of summer weather was in full swing, and best of all, there was no way that he was going to summer school. All that considered, the highlight of his summer was always Independence Day. The young man loved fireworks, and there was nothing he would rather do than to spend ID4 with his best friend, Kim. In fact, there was absolutely nothing he thought of doing other than that. It was like, tradition; The Possible-Stoppable family barbecue, which was followed up by watching the fireworks display at Middleton Park. This would be the tenth consecutive year that Kim and himself did this, which made it extra special. It was said that this year's display was going to be utterly spectacular.

Unfortunately for the oblivious blond, he didn't know that this year, Tradition was going to be taken to the woodshed and was going to be savagely beaten to within an inch of its life.

* * *

"What do you _mean _you're not going to able to make it?" He asked Kim, in about seven layers of despair. 

See what we mean?

Why did so many scenes of outbursts and outrage take place at Bueno Nacho? On the flip side, Kim didn't expect Ron to take it this hard. It looked as if some things in fact, didn't change. Ron always made a big deal about July Fourth and the fireworks. Either way, she was even more anxious to actually tell Ron exactly why she wasn't going to be able to make it.

Ron knew that Kim was a busy girl, but this was ridiculous. Plans on the fourth... of freaking July?

"Come on, K.P.! You gotta reschedule... or cancel... or something!"

"I'm sorry, Ron. But I just... can't," She said solemnly.

"You _can't? _B-But..."

The blond paused for a moment. This may have not been the work of Kim, but the work of _Vince_, Kim's crush for the semester (Or at least for the Summer.). He had known that a week or so back she had to cancel on him for some 'saving the world' business. But this was more important! This was tradition! And... His thoughts were sounding a lot like those of Senor Senior Sr. with all the talk of tradition and what-not...

Vince Vinson was just another one of _those_ boys. Straight out of the Josh Mankey School of laid-back, relaxed, let-it-flow, artsy types that his best friend seemed to go for. What in the heck did she see in these guys? For once, he would just like to see the girl get with a nice, brawny, big ol' football player.

But that wasn't the point.

"...Never mind," Ron said with a resigning sigh.

Kim was taken aback a little bit. Of all the changes that Ron made over the past few months, it was nice to see that he was becoming more mature, which surprised her.

"Sooo, you're not mad at me?" She asked hopefully.

Actually, Ron wasn't mad at her... _Crushingly disappointed _would just about cover the spread. In his younger days, he did a fairly miserable job of covering up his emotions... Today may have been the exception.

"No," The blond said, his voice low as a whisper. "I-It's cool."

He wondered if Kim actually believed it. Because right about now, the blond wasn't exactly believing himself.

"Are you sure?"

_'NO!'_

"Yeah, K.P. It's all good," The blond said, his voice almost back to its normal tone.

"All good," Rufus, the former absentee naked mole rat repeated.

Kim was relieved that Ron had understood. She leaned forward and planted a peck on the blond's cheek.

"You're the best," She said, waving goodbye to her now perplexed sidekick.

"Yeah... The best..." The sidekick said distractedly as he kept his hand glued to his recently pecked cheek. Darn that Kim! He was sooo upset with her a minute ago, then she had to go and...

* * *

"...Kiss me on the cheek and tell me that I'm the best," He said to his pet rodent. Rufus replied with a concurring chatter. 

"Darn girls... They know just what to do to make you... Not mad at them," he raved. "I hate that!"

His walk home consisted of stormy thoughts such as these. How could she know exactly what to do whilst he was fuming? Why would she do that? Tradition had just broken as he knew earlier this afternoon and all he thinks about was the unexpected show of affection from Kim! He should be furious with her, but all he was right now was confused out of his mind.

'Another awkweird moment in the books,' he thought with an exasperated chuckle.

After that incident no more than six months back, Ron was very weary of closeness and these awkweird happenings that went on from time to time in the span of this half of the year. He undoubtedly recalled the... embarrassment of explaining to Kim _what_ exactly was in his pants that day.

"A roll of quarters..."_ Who would possibly believe that? _

The blond threw himself onto his bed. Why was this so blasted confusing? Certainly Kim was cute...

More.

Attractive?

More.

He wasn't going to say the 'B' word. Though it was his preferred adjective to describe his red-haired best friend. He knew that he was almost sixteen and dead in the middle of puberty... All well and good. But this was ridiculous! He couldn't be crushing on Kim... It was illegal, unlawful, _and that kind of stuff only happened at the tail end of teen sitcoms!_

His head was throbbing with tension. He didn't want to ruminate on this any further. So, clearing his messy bed of all its contents, Ron laid down, hoping and a-wishing that said teen heroine wouldn't be the subject of his subconscious.

A resounding ring jarred the blond out of his fitful sleep. Perhaps if he was going to sleep off his tensions, maybe he should've turned off all the appliances.

Hindsight was 20/20 after all.

The cordless phone on his desk continued to annoyingly ring. He hoped that his mom or dad would pick up... He wasn't exactly in the mood to answer a phone, or anything else for that matter... It could've been the president of the free United States on the other line and the blond wouldn't care to pick up.

All of a sudden, the ringing stopped. Someone either picked up or gave up.

The sidekick relaxed once again. He needed some good rest, he deserved it didn't he?

"Ronald, its Kimberly," His mother called from downstairs.

Kimberly? Who was Kimberly? Ron didn't know of anyone named Kimber--

Oops.

The blond quickly began to panic. He didn't want to speak to her! Not now... Or for the next couple of days in that regard. His mind raced furiously. He had to make up some sort of excuse... And quick.

"Tell her I'm not here!" He called out.

"Ron, I can hear you," he heard the voice of his best friend say.

The blond slammed his open palm into his forehead. The _freakin' _speakerphone!

* * *

Critical Error 112: Caught In a Lie 

Symptoms: Immense sweating, and nervous laughter with severe repercussions. Certain Death if not treated within 10 - 20 seconds.

* * *

If one had thought the mind of Stoppable was running laps before, it was doing a freakin' marathon now. He scraped, scuffled, dug, and entrenched his way into finding an answer to his error that he made a moment ago. 

"Ron, why didn't you want to talk?" The concerned voice of Kim asked.

It was almost like she was in the room right with him. Staying frozen like a statue of anxiety wasn't going to save him. Speaking up and muttering unintelligible gibberish wasn't going to save him. He was pretty sure that not even Superman (Out in theaters now), could save him. Woe was him...

Was it?

Like a dim light bulb springing to an incredible 100 watts, Ron got an idea.

"I-I didn't want to talk b-because I was... sleeping. Yeah, sleeping," he said. "You know how I get when I'm groggy... eh, right?"

All he could do was hope like hell that Kim was buying this.

"You were? Oh..." She paused on the other line. "Sorry I woke you," she said apologetically.

Success. A small success, but success nevertheless. Despite that, the blond was curious as to why she had called him so late in the evening. It was 8:30 and he was wide awake.

"Sooo... why'd you call me up, K.P.? W-What's the sitch?"

"Oh... I wanted to know if you had any plans for tomorrow."

Perhaps this was Kim atoning for the wrongdoing that was dumping tradition. Maybe he shouldn't have blurted out that he didn't have plans so quickly. Maybe...

"Good... I was wondering if you could meet me at the mall..."

* * *

_Error 603B: Accompanying Friend That's a Girl to the Mall _

_Symptoms: Heavy lifting, nagging, bag carrying for up to six hours without suitable rest. After six hours, the fatigue can rapidly turn into extremity dismemberment, and in some cases, death can occur._

_Diagnosis: Most experts know it when they see it._

_Treatment: Appointment with local chiropractor._

* * *

Ron paused, fearing the worst if he was to not decline this offer. Any excuse to_ not_ go would do wonders for him right now. Anything... The Flu, The Bends, Twenty-four hour bug, Yellow Fever, Severe Hiccups... Anything! 

He paused for a moment, imagining telling his world-defending best friend that he couldn't accompany her because he had severe hiccups.. Ridiculous.

It had been about ten seconds since Kim asked him... His system was crashing faster than Windows ME... He _had _to say something.

"Ron, are you there?" The voice from the speakerphone asked.

"Uh... Yeah... I just had to uh... check my schedule."

"And?"

Another one of those moments of truths. Wait a minute, Truths?

_Lie, Ron! Lie!_

"And... I'm free tomorrow."

It must've taken Ron about ten seconds to realize what he had just said.

His realization wasn't exactly of a silent ilk_. "SON OF A..." _

_"Ron!_ Are you OK?"

"Yeah... I just... stubbed my toe."

That was a good lie... now only if the boy did the same thing ten seconds ago, he'd be in Victory City, but noooooo...

"Are you going to be OK?"

"Of course... I'm cool as a cucumber," the sidekick said, forcing an energetic tone. How cool was a cucumber, exactly?

"All right, then. I'll see you tomorrow,"

"Yeah, to-tomorrow."

"Good night, Ron."

"Good night, K.P."

He didn't bother much to turn the speakerphone off after the girl had hung up. This was just great... The fourth with Kim was off, and now he was going to be dragged off to the mall... This was shaping up to be the worst weekend he had ever had since The Noodle Incident.

"I don't care... No one can prove I did that."

* * *

_Ron Stoppable presents: Things **less** painful than going to the mall with Kim. _

_1. Watching 'rents reminisce about the 'Good ol' Days.'_

_2. Having 'rents show relatives and otherwise baby pictures of himself; Embarrassing, Yes. But not exactly painful_

_3. Tonsillectomy; Child's Play, in comparison to..._

_4. Taking an Extra-Strength Flu Shot: Only hurts upon contact._

_5. Listening to a Yung JOC CD: Hmmm... That's about equal._

* * *

None of the above was happening to him right now, because at this very moment, the bumbling sidekick had been busy doing what he did best; Wait around and do nothing. 

Another bugaboo the blond had was the terrors of the dressing room. If it was a six-hour day at the mall, at least _two _would be spent waiting for his best friend come out of the dressing room. Worst of all, she would ask him of all people of his opinion. Seriously, did it not matter that Kim was already a breathtakingly beautiful young woman as it is?

Oops... The blond let it slip. He mentally gave himself a punch to the face.

Bad Ron! Can't think about her like that! Just... can't! What if she was reading his mind right now? He'd be in stew city!

"Hey, Ron? I need your opinion on something..."

The blond cringed. He knew what he had mistakenly got into. In his confused state, he couldn't decide whether he should go over there. He also couldn't decide whether or not to fake a traumatic injury.

"Ron?"

"Coming..."

Indeed the die was cast. However, the blond felt that he was ready for whatever that was going to be thrown at him.

"Uh, Kim?"

On cue, the dressing room door opened.

"What do you think of this...?"

Oh... Dear... God. OK... forget what he just said. He was ready for everything, except _this_...

There she was... standing tall in the darkest, shortest, most form-fitting, leg-revealing dress that he had ever seen in his life. He felt lightheaded all of a sudden, and his mouth became as dry as the Sahara. Looking her over once again, this time in an excruciatingly slow fashion, he deducted that he honestly didn't know where the dress stopped and her legs began. Visions like her making 'come here' gestures and winking lasciviously at him began to frequently pop up within seconds... He remembered how he wasn't going allow himself to think his best friend _that _way, which was just about, say... two minutes ago -- _Well, that was clear out the window now_. The hapless boy rubbed his eyes, and rubbed his eyes once again, followed by... you guessed it; Rubbing his eyes for a third time. Yep, he was in the here and now. Maybe it was him, but the girl almost looked like she was glowing...

...Uh-oh... She was looking a bit strange at him. Perhaps it may have been because he was looking at her with his mouth wide open... or maybe how wide his eyes were at the present time... and... Oh My Goodness Gracious, his _roll of quarters_ may have very well been standing at attention as well.

Boy was he in trouble now... She was about to speak.

"You don't think this is too... you know, skanky, do you?"

Ron's jaw locked up... and then quickly unlocked.

"N-N-N-N-No," he stuttered stupidly.

"Really? I think it's a bit too short..." She said, attempting to pull the hemline of the dress further down.

"Actually, I don't think it's short enough..."

_"What?"_

* * *

_Critical Error 110EX-B: Severe slip of the tongue._

_You know what? When this happens, don't expect to live a normal life ever again._

* * *

The blond couldn't cover his mouth fast enough... but it was already too late. Somewhere in the deepest recesses of his mind, stood his perverted side... and how the _hell_ could he allow that side to take control of him _NOW_? It was the second time he temporarily lost his mind, and he was sure this time it was going to cost him, big time. 

Both stood there in silence for several moments. The sidekick felt like he wanted to absolutely disappear. What with his best friend staring at him and... Laughing?

Was he imagining things again?

Apparently Not.

There she was... **_little black dress_** and all, laughing at him.

"Eh...?"

"Way to play the role of a typical guy, Ron. I _almost_ believed you there," she explained in between giggles.

The boy stood there speechless as the girl disappeared behind the dressing room door once again. He couldn't believe it! He was actually being let off the hook once again. How could the girl not totally yell, scream, or even scold at him. Maybe it was the fact that he was receiving the all-powerful, extra-strength benefit of the doubt... Either way, right now he felt like he was the luckiest guy on the face of the planet.

For once, he knew how it felt like to be O.J. Simpson.

* * *

How many bullets was the blond going to dodge before the jig was up? 

Yes, the rest of the afternoon went off rather smoothly. But, things got a lot more unnerving for Ron Stoppable. He was up late that night thinking about what had transpired that afternoon, as well as all the iffy goings-on that had happened between them. It wasn't as if the young man wasn't nervous when he pressed his shaking lips to the girl's cheek a month or so back. Either way, given the situation, he would wager that his best friend would have handled it a lot better than he did. Heck... with all the awkward actions that were going in the past few months, what were the chances of Kim feeling the same way that he did?

'Slim and none,' the boy thought, taking a deep sigh.

Heck, here it was, the Fourth of July, and she was on a date with Vince. And where was he this night? Holed up in his room, of course.

Of course? Wait a cotton-picking'...

...He couldn't let the Fourth go down like this...

Immediately shaking away his three-day spell of listlessness, he grabbed a clean shirt, a nice pair of pants, and Rufus, of course, Ron zipped out of the house. This was his favorite holiday that _wasn't_ in December, dammit! Just because Kim wasn't around this particular night _didn't_ mean that he had to be miserable, confused, and alone!

Right?

* * *

If he had only knew... 

If Ron had only knew of where exactly she was right now. Well, there wasn't that much of a secret to where she was because she was at home. Home from her date with Vince. She felt that it went well enough, but there was just something wrong about it. She couldn't exactly put her finger on it.

_Maybe Guilt?_

It wasn't the way that she looked. She certainly knocked the young man's socks off with that little number she brought last weekend... So that wasn't the case.

_How about guilt from breaking tradition... _

It wasn't Vince. He seemed very much into her... So why did she have this nagging urge in her?

_What about Ron? _

What _about_ Ron? The fourth didn't mean much to him... Did it? He seemed OK with it when she broke it to him that Friday afternoon. Then again, the blond did have a pretty good history of hiding his emotions to her. Now that he had more of mature attitude at the present time, however, did he do the same thing? If it did mean that much to him, she definitely would have postponed on Vince.

_You're a bad liar. _

The redhead felt queasy all of a sudden. She could read the blond like a book on most occasions, did she miss the signal?

_Apparently. _

She quickly had a flashback of this past Spring Break. She remembered how Ron, reputable to the popular people and all, dropped what he was doing and followed her along when she got an unsuspecting call from Wade. It wasn't anything major, but Ron still insisted. He was so fiercely loyal that way... whether change or no change.

It wasn't too late... She took a look at the digital clock, which read 9:45PM.

She didn't even know whether or not he was there, but something in her told her to just go.

The redhead was just about down the stairs when she had almost forgotten...

She needed a quick change of clothes… Imagine if her dad caught her wearing that black dress.

* * *

The Independence Day fireworks certainly did some good for Rufus, and about the eighty or so spectators that were there. As for his blond owner, however, not so much. He knew that should have been in awe of the radiant explosions in the sky, but no matter how much he tried to will himself into thinking he was having a good time, his thoughts just drifted back to that near-miss that occured over the weekend. 

The boy chuckled to himself momentarily, all the radiant fireworks for him were provided that Saturday.

He looked into the navy blue sky... and not exactly at the fireworks either. What the heck was he going to do about this? What good could his friendship with Kim be if he kept thinking about her in that light? Problem was, he couldn't just turn his emotions on and off like the perennial light switch, it was going to be a long and slow progress to attempt to de-crush on Kim, if at all. In fact, he was almost relieved that she wasn't here with him.

"...Hey..."

Both Ron and Rufus turned around to face who was trying to get their attention.

Hmm... What do you know? It was Kim. That's nice.

Agh! Wait... Kim?

Maybe it was his thought process or something else, but at the very sight of the auburn-haired girl, his head started to hurt... a lot. He got a bit weak at the knees, and disorientation began to set in.

He was soooo confused right now.

"K... uh, er... w-what are you doing here?" He asked, fumbling over his words.

"I came home early from... Out of town," she said.

The blond, perhaps from the surprise of his best friend even being here didn't catch the pause in her explanation. "Why? Was e-everything OK?"

"Yeah," she answered. The girl moved a bit closer, ignoring the butterflies that were growing within her. "Besides, who am I to interrupt tradition, hm?"

The answer was substantial enough... But why the heck did she have to wink at him? A pang of dizziness began to strike him. Both remained silent for a minute or so.

"Uh... Can we sit down?" He asked. "I'm a little on the tired side."

"Sure," Kim answered.

She led the way to the green park bench. Both sat down at the same time. After the short spell of discombobulation, Ron felt re-energized again... Was it all because of her?

Couldn't have been... He took a glance at her while she wasn't looking... OK... It was all because of her. As she turned in his direction, he looked back toward the sky.

"Ohh! That was a good one!" The sidekick yelled. "Bon-diggity."

Kim couldn't help but grin at her best friend and partner. His youthful exuberance was just too darn infectous. His eyes were practically glued to the brightening sky. She scooted closer to her sidekick to try and take in his aura. Be it tradition or whatever it was, it was evident to her that this was where she wanted to be; on a park bench with her sidekick, staring at explosions in the sky. She couldn't put her finger on it, but for the first time, she believed that there may very well be something between herself and Ron.

It wasn't a crush... It wasn't attraction. It was...

"Fireworks," she said to herself.

"Uh... Did you say something?" Ron asked.

"No," she said with a smile.

Indeed... Fireworks _definitely_ fit the description.

* * *

End of Chapter 5 

Liked it? Thought it was too angsty? Disliked it? Think this is Big Blue's year? Review; dangit.


	6. Team Players

Tales of The Awkward: Chapter Six (Team Players)

Chrome Notes: Ah, it's the end of the first half.

* * *

When a team rife with cohesion and chemistry is clicking, there isn't much the opposition could do to stop the onslaught. It didn't matter if the team was a party of eleven, nine, five, or even two. If they had it, how could the one who were going to stop them... stop them? Needless to say, team chemistry was paramount to every team's success. 

As for Team Possible, however...

"Ron! Go for the center!" Kim Possible, world reknowned heroine, but not quite superheroine commanded.

"Gotcha, K.P.!" A rushing Ron Stoppable said. It was a familiar scene; Team Possible was out to foil a particularly nasty Dr. Drakken plot; this one involving a Positron laser, a couple of crystals, and some sugar cane. Possible barked out commands to her partner, whilst duking it out with her longtime archrival, Shego. The redhead just narrowly missed from being hit with a blast of green plasma. Unfazed, still, she continued to press on.

"Hey, you know..." Shego began, pausing to attempt to dish out some punishment to her opponent. "...sidekick looks a little different from the last time I saw him..." She dodged a high kick attack from the younger woman. "...You know, he's actually kinda cute..."

The teen heroine performed a backflip to avoid the henchwoman's sweep. She landed gracefully, as always. Before she leapt back into the prey, however... She paused for a moment... Did Shego just say that Ron was cute? Shaking off the notion, the girl went back to business with the tussle. When an opening presented itself, the auburn-haired crimefighter attacked with a little extra. Chiefly because she wanted to take Shego down, and _not _because of Shego's newfound affection for her partner.

"What, you want his number?" Kim asked snidely, a closed fist headed directly for the black-haired woman's midsection.

"Nah..." Shego answered, deftly sidestepping the attack. To the younger woman's surprise, the stronger Shego grabbed the hand that she wasn't attacking with. With brute strength, she whipped the surprised girl over her shoulder and threw her against a nearby wall. Kim, clearly injured from the collision, slumped against the wall.

"...I've already got yours," The villainess said with that ever-so-evil smirk.

The redhead shook her head, attempting to clear up the cobwebs. That was some kind of shot...

"K.P.! Are you OK?" Ron yelled.

"Don't worry about me," she ordered, though woozily. "Don't lose those crystals!"

"Gotcha," the blond aye-ayed. He was on the run from two guards, ably using what little quickness and agility he had to evade the burly men.

"Grrr..." Dr. Drakken, the mad scientist growled. He had seen just about enough of the buffoon eluding his very much underqualified henchmen.

"Shego! Get the buffoon!"

"With pleasure," she replied.

Effortlessly, the villainess executed a somersault and found herself right in front of the hustling blond. Ron stopped dead in his tracks.

"Uh-Oh..." He said quietly.

Uh-Oh was right. He was surrounded. Drakken's three also-rans were to the right of him, Shego was to the left of him, and Drakken himself was on a platform almost directly above him. The blond was boxed in and in a pick your poison sitch; face the three burly guards with those sparkly pitchforks, or face the exceedingly dangerous Shego. Boy, it would be totally badical if his patented Mystical Monkey Power decided to kick in right now. Or now would be nice... Actually, it would be really beyond awesome if it kicked in... now. But then again... right now wouldn't be bad.

Kick in... Right about... Now!

"Hand over the crystals, punk," said one of the guards. When their demands wasn't met in the allotted time, the guards began to close in on him. The blond shut his eyes in obvious panic... This was shaping up to be one painful weekend.

"Wait," Shego chimed in. The super-powered villainess ambled toward the petrified sidekick. "I've got this."

"Ron!" Kim exclaimed. She attempted to come to his aid, but was hit from behind from the blast of a ray of some sort. It didn't hurt much, however, she was chagrined to find out that moving her extremities were quite impossible.

"That was my Paralyze Ray," Drakken gloated. "It won't keep you stationery for long, but it will keep you still long enough to watrch me conquer the world!"

He issued the standard-issue maniacal laugh that he seemed to be good at, and... where did the sudden thunderclap come from? It was clear as day outside... With all of the chasing and fisticuffs at a standstill, all eyes situated on the crystals, the sidekick, and Shego. The auburn-haired crimefighter could only watch as Shego advanced on 85-percent defenseless sidekick.

"Hey, _handsome_," The black-haired woman began, an attractive air in her voice. "What say you hand over those crystals, eh, hun?"

Handsome? Who was handsome? The blond pointed to himself to try and differentiate who the lady in green was referring to. Well, he was the one with crystals, and she did nod, and wink at him... and was moving closer toward him.

"Hummina...Hummina," he stuttered.

"That's right, _Ronnie. _I'm talking to _you_," she continued. The young man himself felt paralyzed under the older woman's gaze.. and the fact that she had actually said his name. Another sudden bout of Severe Critical Temporary Shutdown Syndrome (SCTSS) jolted Ron as he felt the gloved hand of the evil-evil-evil and _soooo gosh-darn _sexy Shego grip his chin. Her effervescent smile, which already did a fine job of melting away his resolve, was threatening to melt the teenage boy in itself.

"If you hand over those crystals, _sweetie_, I'll be very..." she moved painfully close to him, her mouth shatteringly close to his ear. She smelled so freaking good, whatever perfume it was, it threatening to pretty much kill him. Add to that, her voice was a 'roll-of-quarters' exposing seductive. "..._very grateful..." _

Guh! Very... Grateful?

* * *

Critical Error 666B: Temptation via Evil Seductress 

Prognosis: **Extremely Poor**

Treatment: _GIVE IN! GIVE IN! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GIVE IN!_

* * *

Just about everyone, from the guards to even Drakken, were in awe of the black-haired woman's sudden switch from 'ruthless warrior' to 'five-star femme fatale.' 

"Hey, doc," A guard asked. "What's her number again?"

Kim, on the other hand, couldn't believe the measures that Shego was taking to get to the crystals. Then again, she would really hate to see her comet-powered rival put a pounding on her best friend, and with her in the current state she was in, not be able to stop it. She hoped and prayed the her partner's self-control matured along with his other traits.

"I-I-I," Ron stammered. "I can't," he finalized, though shakily.

"Not even for... _me?_" Shego asked, her jade green eyes shimmering into his.

_Wait a minute... Could a negotiation be put in place? He couldn't... But, with the way she was staring at him, he could've sworn that he could. _

_"No, I can't,"_ Ron answered with more conviction

"No?"

"No," he said once again. As if the sun came from behind the clouds, the blond remembered who he was dealing with... Even though the woman he was talking to was hot like... **fiyah.** "I can't allow you guys to take over the world. Y'all are evil!" He exclaimed, pointing at the evils in question.

With a flippant wave of her gloved hand, Shego excused herself from the circle. "Oh well, at least I tried something new..."

At a moment's notice, mean green plasma built up within the henchwoman's fists. With the evil smirk in full effect, she lunged at the blond.

"...But now, it's time for the direct approach, _hun,_" the villainess stated.

Kim shut her eyes. Ron shut his eyes -- and probably wet his pants. With one blow, the hapless blond went down - hard, and the crystals went flying. Unfortunately, for Dr. Drakken, his henchmen weren't exactly blessed with the hands of an NFL wide receiver, the men all dove for the soaring crystals only for all three of them to come up empty. On contact, the glassy objects shattered to the floor, much to the displeasure of one blue-skinned mad scientist. With the crystals irreparably damaged, the world was safe for another day.

As for Team Possible, however, they weren't safe for another day... or for the next couple of days, for that matter.

* * *

"Are you sure you're going to be OK?" 

"Yes, K.P. Besides, there's nothing rest and morphine can't fix!"

How true was that? Despite the blond's reassurance, Kim couldn't help but to constantly question his physical condition. In the scrum, in which she wasn't able to intercede in, he had sustained a fairly mild concussion, numerous bruises, and some top-notch lacerations. Still, though, she wasn't exactly enamored with her best friend's stay in the hospital that night. Though he was comfortably rested in his house this day, she still wasn't exactly at ease. In the back of her mind, she knew there was always a possibility of her partner being injured critically during missions. While that didn't happen that Friday night, she spent most of that weekend dwelling on what could've been, and was very much disturbed by it. She felt responsible for what had happened, and to a degree, she was. After all, she did often pull the blond along on these missions, sometimes literally. Then again, at times, he invited himself. Other than the company and the prospect of being a distraction to the opposition, there wasn't too much use for him.

But don't tell Kim that... She might get upset.

The auburn-haired girl had always had a notion to train her best friend, but the time to do it had never presented itself.

"Hey, Ron." She asked.

"Yeah?" he answered drowsily.

"Are you sure that you're all right?"

"Abso-tively, Posi-lutely, K.P.," he replied with a slight level of exasperation in his voice. To demonstrate, he got out of his bed and still up for the first time since the incident. "See? Why are you so concerned about this? I'm good. I'm cool. I've never felt... Owww... Ow... Ow."

A jolt of pain in the boy's lower extremities belied his belief that there was nothing wrong. Not that Kim was believing any of it, mind you. Despite the lie, she rushed over an applied an ice pack to his bruised knee.

"See? That's what I'm talking about," she said as she eased him back into bed. "I don't like it when you get hurt, Ron."

Uh-Oh... It looked at though she was serious about this. He could see it in her eyes. But then again...

"Aw, you know how it is, K.P! 'Tis a scratch, 'Tis a scratch."

"Ron..."

"Ask for me tomorrow and you shall find me a grave man," he said playfully.

Why did he always have to joke around when he got hurt? And... Since when did he know Sheakspeare?

"Ron, I'm serious!" Kim urged. "It's not just a scratch... I just... don't like it when you get hurt, Ron... I hate it." She drew closer to him and attempted to look him in the eye. "I can't let that happen to you, Ron. I care about you too much to let that happen."

The boy shied away from the concerned look of the auburn-haired girl. The blond blushed slightly, from the closeness between himself and his best friend, and from what was just said. He knew that she did indeed care about his well-being. In fact, he hadn't seen Kim this concerned since this past Christmas. Of course, the only thing he really remembered from that foray was that kiss he got on the cheek under the mistletoe errr, Parsley. But that was neither here nor there.

"You can't blame yourself, K.P.," Ron said, his voice adapting to the significance of the matter. "It's happened before, and it'll probably happen agai--"

"No it won't," Kim said solemnly.

"Why?"

"Because from now on..." Kim paused, as she turned her back on the bedridden blond. "...You're not going on missions with me anymore."

That took Ron for a serious turn. "What? Why? K.P. you're taking this way too seriously... I just--"

He paused as he saw the girl begin to tremble a bit. It took a couple of moments for him to realize it, but she was crying. She wasn't sobbing loudly, but her body was convulsing frequently enough for him to notice. It was a first for the blond. He had never seen his best friend cry before... She was much too strong for that, wasn't she? He had to get inside what was bothering her the most about this. He had taken his share of beatings during missions before, and he could safely say this was far from the worst. So what was the problem? Struggling mightily, he got to his feet and followed the redhead to where she was standing. He had no idea how to combat this, he'd never a show of emotion like this from Kim before.

* * *

Critical Error 208A: Emotional Overload: The Water Works 

Diagnosis: Pops out of nowhere at times.

Treatment: When in doubt, do what the guys in One Tree Hill do.

* * *

There she was, just a couple of feet from her. Was he going to accept the girl's solution? Maybe... Even past that, though, he still felt the urge to calm her down someway. Ignoring the rising discomfort from standing up, he slowly proceeded toward his best friend. 

"Kim?"

The teen heroine didn't want the blond to see her like this. As if she didn't hear him, she kept her back turned away from him. Seeing that this route wouldn't exactly work. Thus, he took another route;

Yes! The glorious route of confrontation!

"K.P., enough already! Like it or not, I got hurt. I don't see why you're so broken up about it."

Still with her back turned, Kim replied. "I'm so _broken up _about it because there wasn't anything I could do about it. I..."

"...Like you always say. So _not _the drama, K.P. That was a one-in... like a thousand thing. I mean, look, you get banged up and bruised all of the time... You don't see me shedding any--"

"That's different, Ron. _I _know how to defend myself... You... well--"

That gave the blond an idea.

"If you're so concerned about that, then why not train me?"

Uh-Oh... Sure, Kim had an idea to do this. But she had always figured that she'd be the one to bring it up.

"You're in no position to..."

"Whoa! I'm talking about right now... After I heal up, you can... show me the ropes, so to speak."

While it did sound better than cutting the blond out of the picture altogether, she was a bit hesitant to give it a go. She truthfully didn't believe Ron would be so opposed to her decision.

"I... guess that could work," she said, an uncertain air in her voice. She was taken aback slightly as she saw the boy's slight look of relief.

"Whew..." Ron said to an uninjured Rufus. "Crisis Averted."

That statement left the auburn-haired girl a bit curious, but certainly not in a bad way. "Wow," she began, her lips slightly curling upward. "I didn't know all this saving the world business was that important to you," she said, a small smile gracing her face for the first time in a while.

The blond flushed a bit as he looked away. Either the girl's smile was a bit too much of a welcoming sight, or he was uncertain about what he had to say for an answer.

All throughout his attempt at an answer, he kept eye contact with the girl to a bare minimum... or in this case, none at all.

"Uh, well, K.P.," he paused to rub his neck in an anxious manner. "...It's not just the, um... saving the world business that's important to me..." He trailed off, fearing that he let on a bit too much.

"Oh..." Kim began. "I..."

She immediately had a flashback of what had happened that Friday Night before Spring Break.

* * *

_"Uh... Well..." he began. "Some things are more important than this..." He said, thumbing over to the packed house._

_"Like what?"_

_"Like.. Say, tagging along with your best friend on a mission... Even though it's 'nothing major.'"_

_"So wait... Let me get this straight. You'd rather fight freaks with me and lose your pants than party with those guys," she asked in disbelief._

_"Oh... I don't know... Yes," the blond answered with a smirk._

* * *

More important things? Like, maybe... The teen heroine's facial features flushed slightly in what her partner might have been alluding to. 

"Uhh..." the blond became even more uncomfortable,_ as if that was humanly possible_. However, with the last faltering ounce of nerve left in him.

"...'Cause, you know, we're best friends, you know... BFF's are supposed to do everything together, right?"

_Disarming Quote No. 1!_

**Whew! Give that man an emmy... as well as a stretcher.**

The flush that was apparent of the auburn-haired girl began to subside. She did, however, keep a warm smile in her partner's direction.

"I guess you're right," she said. At a moment's notice, she threw her arms around the boy, giving him a good squeeze. While Ron was happy to see his best friend in a better mood, _he still did have some injuries. _

_"K.P., K.P... Injuries, Injuries!"_ He urged in a whisper.

_She broke away immediately, a slight flush of embarrassment on her face. Neither had much of anything to say following the... well... er... friendly embrace._

"So..." Ron began, attempting to break the proverbial ice. "...am I um... reinstated?"

That seemed to snap Kim out of her momentary daze.

"Oh, Yeah, of course... On one condition, though."

Condition? He thought he cleared everything up already...

"Condition?" Ron stammered. "Wha-What condition?"

"You _still _have to train with me," she said wryly, before turning to leave.

Uh-Oh...

Train? As in... choo-choo?

* * *

End of Chapter Six 

Oh Boy... Honestly, I don't think this chapter exactly matched the flow.

Either way... Liked? Disliked? Think the Astros can actually pull off a miracle? Review!


	7. The Maim Event

Tales of The Awkward: Introduction to Chapter Seven

* * *

_"Hello, once again, ladies and gentlemen! This is your PA Announcer, Mitchell Bluffer! We would like to welcome you once again to the World's Finest Arena, also known as, the Possible's Baaaaaasement! And now, without further ado, the moment you've all been waiting for; Theeeee Maaaaaaain Event!" _

The capacity crowd rose an octave in anticipation. The moment had finally arrived. Large flashbulbs went off at the drop of a dime as the baritone announcer continued his address.

_"Introducing the challenger..." _

The crowd mutters a bit, a few scattered boos could also be heard in the mix of reactions.

_"...In the far corner, in the black trunks, from Middleton, USA, standing five-feet-ten inches tall, weighing in at an even one-hundred fifty pounds, maintaining seventeen wins, seventeen losses, and five knockouts; He is the duke of descending trousers, he is the sidesplitting sidekick, he is the bringer of boo-yah, he is the maximum, mystifying master of Mystical Monkey Power... He is Ron Stoppable!" _

The blond presents himself to the crowd. Once again, there's a mix of sentiment within the ranks of the audience. Either way, the confident sidekick shows off his vim and vigor by issuing some quick shadow punches before raising both of his arms in a mock victory pose.

_"And now..." _

Just upon those two words alone, the audience really began to get into it. No doubt, the volume level of the basement had reached its highest point at that very moment.

_"..Introducing the champion! In the near corner, in that ravishing little black dress, also from Middleton, USA, standing five-foot-nine inches tall in those lovely boots she's wearing, weighing in at a firm, luscious, scintillllating one-hundred twenty-eight pounds, maintaining sixty-six wins, two losses, and four-hundred seventy-six knockouts, not including the fact that she's one herself..."_

Ron gulped.

_"...She is the ringleader of rescues, she is the red-haired renaissance, she is the crown mistresss of Middleton, she is the savior of the Walt Disney Corporation, she is portrait of personified pugilist perfection, she is that lass who can most certainly kick your ass, she is the Killigan killer, the Shego stopper, and of course, the Drakken destroyer! She is, simply put, the girl who can do annnnnnythiiiiing...!" _

Instantaneously, the capacity crowd reached a fever pitch. Ron just stood there, away from the spotlight, silently saying a prayer, and counting his blessings... How the hell did he get tricked into doing this?

_"...She is, Kiiiiiim Possible!" _

The spotlight fell upon the girl, who only waved shyly to the enamored audience. Still, though, the cheers only got louder and louder. The blond stared at his fan-favorite opponent... How the heck was he going to attempt to hit someone who was so... drop-dead gorgeous? The girl turned toward his corner. As if she was reading his thoughts, the auburn-haired girl winked at him before blowing a deliberate kiss in his direction.

_'Oh, look at that... I haven't even taken a punch and I've got a nosebleed,'_ the blond thought derisively.

The official ushered both contenders toward the middle of the ring as the audience calmed down, but was still abuzz. Ron took a good look at the official, and almost lost his mind...

...When it just happened to be Mr. Dr. Possible. The blond felt a twinge of dizziness as the makeshift ref went over the rules.

"I want a good clean fight, you two. No hitting below the belt or headbutting... Unless you really want to, Kimmie-Cub."

"Wha?" Ron interceded.

"Thanks, daddy," the redhead said, smiling brightly at her father.

"--Anyway, after my Kimmie-Cub knocks you to the mat, Ron, you have the count of ten to get back up, but I would suggest staying down."

"And what if _I _happen to knock 'Kimmie-Cub' to the mat, huh?" The blond asked impatiently.

"Then it's curtains for you, Ronald," The Possible patriarch threatened.

Gulp..._ Again._

"Are we all clear?" The rocket scientist-slash-referee asked.

"Yeah," The teen super-heroine replied.

Ron nodded weakly.

"Alright, you two, touch gloves and return to your corners," The brown-haired man said firmly. The blond evaded eye contact with his attractive opponent. Reluctantly, the blond extended his boxing glove. When he felt the black glove lightly graze the glove of his opponent, he hastily returned to his corner.

"Good luck, and _good luck, Kimmie-Cub,_" Her father said, giving the auburn-haired girl a light peck on her cheek. He followed that up by glaring daggers in the blond's direction, followed by making a throat-slash gesture.

In his corner, Ron felt boxed in... Was that because he was in a boxing match? Either way, he felt that this fight was fixed, yo, Even though that kinda went without saying. If there was any _right _time that he should fake his own death, now would be the perfect time. Not even his trainer, Mr. Barkin, could snap him back into reality. However, where Barkin failed to snap him out of his quiet and introspective "I'm going to be murdered in the ring" mania, the ring announcer did the job just fine.

_"Would both contenders come to the center of the ring."_

The first round had not started, and the blond was already feeling like it was the tenth. With his spirit visibly sapped, he trudged to the center of the ring. The only thing keeping him from absolute annihilation at the able hands of his best friend was the announcer. Hell, as far as that scaredy-cat sidekick was concerned, that guy could take as much time as he needed.

_"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the challenger, Ronald "Ron-Diggity" Stoppable!"_

The mixed reactions that the sidekick was met with minutes ago was replaced by full, loud, castigating boos. The blond narrowly missed being hit by a stray beer can. What in the...? What the heck happened to the little bit of fans that he had? Did they get trampled on? Did they think ahead and fake their own deaths?

_"Versus the champion, Kimberly-Anne Possible!"_

The audience, as if reacting from night to say, turned the voracious catcalls into lustful cheers and applause. Instantly, the ring became littered with all types of flowers and trinkets.

'Yeah,' the sidekick surmised. 'Yeah... My dying place was going to be here.'

_"For the thousands in attendance..."_ The announcer paused, his voice toning down. _"...and the millions watching at home..."_

'Oh great,' the blond thought sarcastically. 'Millions of people are going to see me get murdered in the ring, that's faaan-tastic.'

_"Ladies and gentlemen... LLLLLLL-LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUMBLE!"_

Ding! At the sound of the bell, and before Ron even knew it, there was his best friend, charging menacingly toward him.

'I wonder what's going to be on my headstone.'

* * *

End of Prologue 

The original chapter ran past my 5,500 word-per-chapter limit. I know what you're thinking, "Why the heck does S-Chrome have a 5500 word-per-chapter limit?"

The 7th Chapter itself will be online within hours... or a day... or... whatnot.

S-Chrome.


	8. Spar Trouble

Tales of The Awkward: Chapter Seven (Spar Trouble)

* * *

"Wha-What?"

The blond woke up... Man! That must've been the shortest bout in modern boxing history. Oh, well... Now that he was dead, he wondered if he was good enough to make it to that place upstairs. The brightness of his surroundings forced the freckle-faced teenager to temporarily shut his eyes. Maybe he_ was _at the pearly gates.

"Ron?"

Who was that? Perhaps it was an angel.

The blond's eyes slowly fluttered open.

_"Ronnn... Earth to Ron." _

This was strange. This particular angel looked and sounded like Kim. He just couldn't escape her... Not that he was complaining, of course. Then he finally realized... He wasn't at the pearly gates, he was in his house, which was slightly less pearly. And that girl above him wasn't an angel, it was just Kim, though that could be disputed.

"Kim... What are you doing here? It's morning," Ron said drowsily.

"Correction, Ron... It was morning, five hours ago..." The auburn-haired girl went over to window and pulled back on the curtains. The bright yellow star was away up in the sky, which pretty must destroyed the blond's argument that it was early.

Wow... He must've slept well, almost too well. Not that he was an early riser or anything like that. On the positive side, he was feeling much better than he did a day before. It had been about a week since his run-in with La Femme Shego, and with proper rest, a lot of Vitamin C, and lots of aspirin, he had felt like he could finally get up and go.

"Are you feeling any better?" She asked.

"Totally," he said excitedly. As if to demonstrate, he jumped out of his bed and did some impressive... well, not exactly impressive moves straight out of the 'Geek's Guide to Defending Oneself.'

"Uh... Ron?"

Disregarding the fact that Kim even called him, the sidekick continued to dish out punishment to open space.

It wasn't like open space didn't have it coming, though,

"_Ronnn?_"

His concentration clearly halted, Ron turned around.

"C'mon, K.P., I was just showing you my..."

The auburn-haired girl stifled a giggle while pointing below her best friend's midsection. Let's just say the boy wasn't exactly dressed for the occasion.

* * *

Error 193: Caught With Pants Down... Literally

Happens all the time... It's all good.

* * *

Of course, the blond took the fact that he was undressed in stride. He just got out of bed, for crying out loud! In light of it, he wasn't exactly impressed with Kim's amusement.

"Hmph... Like you've never seen your best friend without pants before," he said, feigning indignation.

The teen heroine ignored the complaint of the blond and cut to the chase.

"So this means you're feeling better then?"

The sidekick did a couple of stretching exercises before coming up with a sure answer. After finding no lingering pains...

"Yeah, much better! I feel like a new Ron," he insisted.

"New Ron?" Rufus asked.

"Good," Kim started. "We can start training today, then."

_Uh-Oh... Code Red._

"Aaacchh!" Ron faked, clutching his kneecap. "Ohh... Those phantom pains are a-comin' back... I think I'm going to have to a few more days..." He quickly ducked back into his bed and underneath the covers.

Kim shook her head. There was no more delaying the inevitable... She had a suspicion that he had been trying to avoid her. No more... Pulling back the covers, the redhead reached over, grabbed the cowering blond, and dragged him out of bed.

"Wait... Wait... K.P."

"No more waiting, Ron. This is necessary..."

"Well... Can I at least put some pants on?"

"There's no time for that..." Kim replied.

* * *

_Ron Stoppable Presents: The Pros & Cons of Training With Kim Possible._

**_Pros: _**

_One has the ability to defend oneself when the situation calls for it.  
Peace of mind for his best friend. _

**_Cons:  
  
_**_The inability to walk after a training session.  
More groin injuries than lessons learned. _

_

* * *

_

He contemplated, ruminated, and speculated the negatives, the positives, and the go-betweens as they continued to resonate back-and-forth in the young man's head during that ten minute walk with Kim. Of course, there was no going back now, as he was now firmly entrenched in the training grounds, which was more popularity known as the Possible's basement. It looked more like a second-rate gymnasium than a basement. It had all the standards of a gym, what with the padded floors, the punching bag, and the prototypical training dummies off to the side.

Wait a minute... Which one was he? The punching bag, or the training dummy?

"Ron! Are you listening to me?"

What with all the thoughts of being a training dummy (or a punching bag), the blond forgot that Kim was talking to him about defending oneself.

"Uh..." He trailed off. "Actually... I wasn't listening to you."

"What?" She asked, surprised with the blond's forthright answer.

"I wasn't listening because," The sidekick stopped. "Because... I'm..."

_I'm afraid of getting broken into pieces? Scared of having his Stoppable jewels handed back to him? _As possible answers were shuffled and brainstormed. Kim listened intently as her best friend "Hmmm'ed" and "Umm'ed" his way into finding a suitable solution to his ignoring her.

_"...So amped to get this thing started..." He finished, adding a toothy grin._

The answer proved to be sufficient for the redhead, even though her best friend was lying through his teeth.

"So you want to get things started, huh?"

Ron was hesitant in selecting answer, as he wasn't exactly sure if she was repeating what he had stated, or if it was a trick question.

"Yeah," he answered. His tone, however, told a different story. In any event, Kim wasted no time pulling him along.

* * *

_Lesson I - Wish I Didn't Know _

After about ten rounds with the punching bag, and some exercise, Ron felt a bit more comfortable about what he was about to embark on, even though the jitters of the prospect of having his jewels handed back to him were fresh in his mind. He knew that his best friend wouldn't intentionally hurt him. So why in the world was he still envisioning himself as a carcass in the middle of a boxing ring?

"Ron! Are you zoning out on me again?"

"What? No!"

"Then what did I just say?"

Uh-Oh... One of those again... Why couldn't she just give him the benefit of the doubt?

"Uhhh. You said, if I'm not mistaken, 'in order to successfully get the better and eventually defeat your opponent in battle, you must know the opponent that you're in combat with beforehand, close quote," he answered smugly.

_Yep, Ron Stoppable was a finely trained master in the art of listening, even when he was distracted…_

"I was asking if you wanted anything to drink, battle-boy," she teased.

_...Or not. _

"Oh..." He replied foolishly. "Well then... I'll have a..."

"Then again, that's not a bad lesson," she interceded.

_Open Mouth. Insert Dynamite. _

Within minutes, the instruction began. Ron figured that this wouldn't take very long. A couple of words about the enemy, a demonstration or two, maybe a written cumulative review at the end of the week...

"Did you get all that, Ron?" The cheerleader asked.

"Yeah," Ron replied confidently. "I'm ready to kick some bad-guy butt... Booyah!"

"Good. I was hoping you'd say that... Because what I want you to do right now is make believe that _I am_ one of_ the_ bad guys," she stated.

Oh... Boy.

"Uh..." Ron stammered.

"So come on, hero... Kick my butt," she said, smacking her own backside for emphasis.

Ohhh... Boy. Did she _really_ have to smack her own...?

"B-But, you're..."

"...My best friend?" She asked. "A girl? That doesn't make any difference, Ron, especially one that can easily send you home crying to your mama."

"Hey! That's kinda personal..."

"So, what are you going to do about it, eh?" The redhead asked, her voice fully into battle mode. Ron didn't like where this was going... This certainly didn't sound like it was all a part of the lesson...

"But, K.P..."

His training partner and instructor interrupted him.

"But, K.P., But K.P!" Kim mocked "...Geez, Ron, you expect me to protect you forever? Man Up! Stop being such a mama's boy," she commanded.

OK... There was fine white line between friendly ribbing and being insulted in the blond's book. Kim not only just crossed it, but she ran past it, stomped on it, and hawked a gigantic loogie on that line as well. His usually relaxed veneer transformed into a look of what could be classified as anger. 'Ooh,' he thought. 'If she wasn't his best friend, she'd be sooo...'

...But then again, she wasn't his friend. She was one of the bad guys... for now...

The freckle-faced boy's brown eyes flashed dangerously... He charged at the redhead, painful intentions on his mind...

...and found himself on the mat.

"...Is that all you've got, mama's boy?" Kim taunted.

As if a matador was waving a red cape in front of a bull, Ron sprang back to his feet, and charged at the teen heroine once again. Kim almost yawned as she effortlessly tripped up the blond. Again, Ron found himself in a heap on the training mat on the floor.

"Too easy," the redhead said, her arms folded smugly.

As the sidekick recovered, he got a couple of things straight. He gathered that he needed to take a different approach to this. He wasn't going to land any blows on her by charging at her like a maniac. And... Sometimes, Kim was amazingly Shego-like when she wanted to get her point across. Both circled each other slowly. Ron had absolutely no clue what he was going to do to throw his best friend off-balance... She knew over a dozen styles of Kung-Fu! How could she be stopped?

When Kim figured that the boy was taking too long to try something, she pounced quickly. She grabbed the overmatched boy's right arm and twisted it harshly against his back.

"Owww, K.P.!" Ron howled.

Despite the boy's growls and groans of pain, Kim didn't relent. This was something that he had to learn if he wanted to seriously save the world alongside her... Plus, she kind of liked the fact that the boy was at her mercy. After a couple of more moments, she released him. Ron crumpled to the floor, clutching his aching shoulder. He looked upward to see the friendly face of Kim standing over him... Not exactly the friendly face that he had saw about, say... thirty seconds ago.

"So, what did we learn today?" She asked

"Know your opponent," he replied weakly.

"And that means..."

"...Unless you've got a plan of attack, don't go charging into people who can send you home crying to your mama?" He asked.

Kim nodded. He was learning already... There was nothing quite like the school of hard knocks, whatever that was.

* * *

_Lesson IV - Escape Artistry_

"Today, class..."

Ron looked around the empty basement. _What class?_

"...We are going to learn the intricacies of escaping your way out of immediate danger," Kim instructed. "But, first, I need a volunteer."

_Hmmm, by the sheer due process of elimination, and the fact that I'm her only student at the present time, that would only mean... _

"Me?" He asked his voice quiet as a skittering mouse.

Kim nodded. At the nod of her head, one could almost feel the Ron's blood pressure rise about ten to fifteen points. We hope sincerely that the young man takes in a low-salt diet.

"Is this going to hurt, K.P.?" He asked, as he was smarting from the activities of earlier in the week. That day, he thought his shoulder was ripped right out of it's socket... Wolfpac style.

"Come on, Ron. You know how it goes; No pain, no gain," she answered with a sardonic smile.

He was about to go along with it...

"Wait, you didn't answer the question!" Ron whined.

"Ron, you'll be fine. I wouldn't hurt you on purpose," Kim said. Her tone was ingenuous... Well, at least, ingenuous enough for his liking which didn't take much.

"Uh... So, what do you want me to do?"

"If you can, try to restrict my movement. Try to stop me from moving," she requested.

That seemed to be a pretty simple task. But then again, for Ron Stoppable, a simple task usually meant the opposite,. much like cleaning out the garage for a Mother's Day present a few months ago.

He had to get back to the present... How was he going to restrict Kim's movement? An idea quickly hit him.

The blond felt a bead of sweat fall upon his brow as he gripped the arms of his partner. He attempted to handcuff the girl, that would work for the most part, he guessed.

He then sprang a different idea... But he wasn't exactly sure if he should. Ignoring the ambiguous thoughts, he released the girl's shoulders, and his arms went lower toward her waist, and clasped both arms slightly.

"A bear hug?" Kim asked.

"Uh... Yeah?" Ron said.

"You call that a bear hug, Ron?"

Catching the confrontational tone in her voice, Ron began to apply pressure as he put more into the maneuver.

'This'll show her,' Ron thought.

Kim was clearly strained from the squeeze that her sidekick was putting on her.

"That's more like it..." she said.

That _was _more like it, what with his hips pressed **heavily **against her backside. It wasn't for another couple of seconds before the blond realized that...

'My... hips... pressed heavily against... her backside.'

* * *

_5 Seconds Before the Return of the Roll of Quarters_

_4..._

_3..._

_2..._

_1... _

_Abort! Abort! _

* * *

OK... That was enough. Ron broke away... He didn't even know why Kim challenged him into doing this in the first place. Did it have something to do with endurance? Or fighting ability? Or did it have something to do with how long the boy could last without exploding from the blood rushing to his face? Before Ron could think of a different thought, his red-haired partner turned around to face him.

"Is that all you've got?" She asked.

"Uh, K.P., don't you think that holding you in a bear hug is kinda..."

"...Kinda..." she continued for him, ignorant to what he was getting at.

"...Awkward?"

"No," Kim answered. "Not at all. I'm just trying to gauge your endurance and strength..."

Neither one had anything to say for a moment. Until...

"...Which you don't seem to have a lot of..." She remarked, that Shego-like smile returning on her face.

Without a second thought, the blond wrapped the redhead up again. If anyone caught him in this awkward position, it was going Kim's fault for egging him on. He wanted to show her that he was serious about staying within the ranks of world-defending crime-fighter, and if he had to squeeze Kim into an... accordion, then so be it.

It's just that her body was so soft...

...and her hips were so finely curved...

...and what's that other word that starts with an 'S'?

Ah, yes... supple.

Crap! He was thinking about it again... But how could he not?

_The Christmas Caper?_

_The 'Hope That She's Not Naked Fiasco'?_

_The Little Black Dress?_

**_Sweeet... That little black dress..._**

"Sorry if I'm interrupting anything, kids, but... What the...?"

* * *

_Three Things That Ron Stoppable Forgot:_

_1. He had forgotten what the mathematical term 5! meant. (Five factorial: 5 X 4 X 3 X 2 X 1)_

_2. He had forgotten that Kenny Rogers had a miserable postseason track record before he smudged on some pine tar. _

_3. He had forgotten that there was another entrance to the basement. _

* * *

_So, ladies and gentlemen: When you catch your daughter and her best friend in a compromising position such as this, your first impulse should and will be... _

Both of the teens whirled around. Ron almost turned white in the presence of one of his best friend's parents... Yep, this was the stuff that nightmares were made of. Forget about speaking, he was more worried about surviving at this point. Even worse was the almost... knowing smile that was appearing on the intruder's face. Did Mrs. Dr. P. know something that he didn't?

"Mom, it's not what it looks like," Kim said.

The brain surgeon didn't even bother to hear the excuse as she ran up the stairs, giggling like a schoolgirl.

_

* * *

_

_Lesson XII - The Final Examination._

_"Ready, Ron?"_

_"Born ready, K.P."_

This indeed (If you didn't read the caption), was the final exam. After a week's worth of teaching, instruction, frustration, and Ron's face hitting the mat, Kim felt that Ron was ready for the final test: Try to knock her down to the mat in five minutes. It seemed simple to a simple-minded casual observer, and then again, a simple-minded casual observer doesn't often see a girl with the knowledge of more than a few fighting styles spar with her stumblebum of a best friend.

Yep... Stumblebum.

With a buzz, the digital clock began to run down. As seconds ticked away, Ron tried to figure out a way to break the impenetrable wall that was his best friend. The duo circled each other in anticipation, one on a mission to prove that he belongs in the world-saving business, the other... Well, you know. Ron began the offensive as he went at her legs first. It didn't prove effective as the girl sidestepped away from his lunge at the last minute. Like many other instances this past week, the young man found himself grabbing at empty air as he hit the mat.

"You've gotta do better than that," Kim stated nonchalantly.

Ignoring the taunt, Ron snapped back to his feet. He couldn't allow himself to be consumed by the baiting words of his opponent. A few days back, he was riled into blindly attacking her without any course of action. As a result, he was eaten up like Howard Dean's presidential campaign...

_...And then we're going to Washington D.C. to take back the White Houuuuuse!_ **_Yeeeahhh!_**

"Four minutes," A sing-song voiced Kim teased.

He had two-hundred forty seconds to prove himself. He had to make this next stand count. He began the charge with an array of punches and kicks, which either blocked or dodged all together. With precious moments waning, he figured that he may as well go for it all. In a surprising show of quickness, he penetrated the defenses to get close enough to get a hand on her.

It came with a price as his chin caught a glancing blow by the redhead. He would definitely feel that after they were through. On the defensive side, Kim was impressed with her partner. She wasn't exactly going one-hundred percent, but she was pleased to see that the blond was rolling with the punches (and kicks.)

She narrowly missed an attempt from the boy... 'Hm, better than I thought,' she thought as she went airborne.

"Three minutes," she said as she gracefully landed on her feet.

Ron was frustrated that he couldn't land one clean hit on Kim, let alone knock her off her feet. Worse yet, at he just realized, Kim was now on the offensive now. The boy's body twisted and contorted in all kinds of forms as he tried to avoid a heavy barrage from the teen heroine. He didn't know how long he could keep this up... The auburn-haired continued with a right hand, followed by a left...

'Right, Left, Right... Left,' He thought as he scarcely avoided being hit. 'So the next attack would be from the...'

"Right," he said. Using what little second wind he had left, he had managed to handily avoid the straight right hand. Seizing the opening, the blond yanked the surprised Kim by her left arm. Summoning all the strength he could mustard... er, muster, Ron tossed the girl over his shoulder... He was actually going to win this!

...If only Kim hit the mat. As she went hurdling toward the mat, she placed her hand out in front of her for balance, and sure enough, handstood and backflipped her way back into a standing position.

For dramatic effect, Kim wagged a finger tauntingly at the boy.

'Oh, come on!' Ron thought. This girl was more unbeatable than Triple H in 2003! And now, he was fresh out of options.

She was just trying to psych him out, but in truth, Kim was very much enthused by her best friend's improvement. For the remaining two minutes, though, she felt like going all out. Needless to say, the adrenaline rush from her nearly hitting floor mat was greater than what any Mountain Dew (or Surge) could offer. She charged at the blond again, bent on ending this exam, once and for all.

"Kim, wait!" Ron shouted. Her fist was (.) that close connecting with the blond's jaw.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" She asked.

"Uh... No," he began. "I just figured out something."

"Figured out what?" Kim asked impatiently.

"I-I... I don't think I might be cut out for this save-the-world stuff..." He trailed off as he turned his back from her. Kim was taken aback from his sudden resignation.

"What...? Why would you think that?"

"Why? Oh... Well, from all of the trash talk, you probably don't think I'm good enough," Ron said quietly. She knew that her best friend was upset as his voice was devoid of it's usual liveliness. The redhead especially took note of the reason that he was in doubt. Did her words in jest psych him out that much? With the rush of adrenaline gone, Kim began to feel very much apologetic.

"Ron, those were just words," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I think you did great today,"

_'It was working... Just one more...'_

"Really?" He asked, turning around to face her.

She nodded, flashing him a genuine smile. "Really. I mean it."

"Wow... I guess there's only one thing I have to say..."

Kim gasped as Ron drove her into to the mat below her.

"--Sucker!" Ron yelled from atop of her.

* * *

_Critical Error 95B: Plausible Gullibility_

_Treatment: _

_Fool her once, shame on you.  
Fool her twice, run for cover. _

* * *

Had she been fooled by the 'I-Quit-But-I-Actually-Didn't' trick?

"Booyah!" Ron exclaimed. He knew that he wasn't going to get anywhere battling physically with his red-haired chum(p), however, no one said anything about psychological and mental... However you spell those words.

Yes, finally, for the first time in modern history, Ron managed to outsmart Kim... and boy was she not happy about it.

"Ron, that is so not cool," she said tersely.

"You said to do whatever it takes to gain an advantage," he said, his smile never wavering.

Grr... He was right again, she did instruct him that. She just didn't think that he'd execute with it. Looks like he was more resourceful than she had previously thought... and somehow that made her smile in spite of her, well... losing. She attempted to push the boy from on top of her, but he wouldn't budge.

"Come on, K.P., who rocks?" He taunted.

That did it... Using utter brute force, she forced the blond off of her. As he tried to recover beside her, the teen heroine swooped, landing on top of him, as he did moments ago.

"Now who rocks?" She asked.

"You do," the blond said with a huff. She couldn't let him win... not even once! Then again, her being on top of him may be classified as a...

Bad Ron! Bad thoughts again! Bad thoughts again!

Kim smiled at the changing expressions on the freckled boy's face. There was something about the nervous look in his eyes, maybe the threat the she might hurt him. Whatever it was, it gave her the impulse to do something about it.

* * *

_Intermission with the Impulses. _

"Leave him alone, he's been through enough with you dragging through all of these training sessions," Impulse One said.

"Nonsense," Impulse Two yelled over her. "I say you give him a nice punch in the shoulder for mocking you!"

"I think," began the Third Impulse. "Since you're one top of him already..."

"Uh-huh..." Kim said, not quite getting the gist of what the third impulse was saying.

"...You should kiss him."

"WHAT?" She yelled. "That's ridiculous! Why would I--?"

"You like Ron, don't you?" The third impulse asked.

"Kinda... But..."

"Come on, Kim, don't be such a wimp!" Third Impulse said. "It'll be good for the both of you."

"Yeah, but..." The redhead was beginning to take it into consideration, when... "

Wait a minute," Kim said suspiciously. "You're not one of my impulses, you're my hormones!"

Both of the other impulses stared in horror as the third impulse revealed herself.

"That's right, Kim, I'm your hormones, and damn it, I will not be ignored for a moment longer!" She declared. "It's clear to see that he likes you, so why not?"

"Because--"

"God, Kim, you're so selfish," Third Impulse, now known as Hormonia said indignantly. "Don't you ever think about someone other than yourself? Don't you ever think for one second that_ **I**_ might have needs?"

Kim was speechless at the complaints of the hormone.

"Needs? But he's--"

"Why can't you ever be spontaneous about things? I wouldn't be so desperate if you were."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you think too much, Kim. That's why you're talking to me right now."

Uh-Oh... Hormonia was right about that.

"I mean, what's the worst that could happen?" Before Kim could gather an answer, the evil hormone spoke again "In fact, don't think about that. Think of how good it would feel if he kissed back."

"B-But..." Kim was quickly falling under the control of the rouge hormone.

"You know you want to... Do it for you... Do it for us..." Hormonia commanded softly, her voice smooth as a ride in a luxury car. "Besides, he's not going to stop you..."

Her mind was made up... She was going to do it...

* * *

"Uh, K.P., are you going to..."

He paused as he saw his best friend drawing closer to him.

_'That's right... He's all yours,' Hormonia encouraged in the red-haired girl's mind. _

_Ron panicked, what was Kim doing? His eyes went as wide as they could when he saw the girl close her eyes. _

'Ohmygawd, Ohmygawd, Ohmy...'

He didn't dare to blink as he saw the girl's lips began to pucker. A nervous calm washed over him as the girl got closer.

Kim was going to kiss him.

She was just inches away from him. No interruption, no obstacle, and nothing was going to stop her. Except...

"Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep."

The Kimmunicator.

As fast as her lips tried to find his own, she leapt off of him to answer the communication device.

"What's the sitch, Wade?"

Ron, who was still on the mat, stared blankly at his best friend as she conversated with the computer genius known as Wade. Afterwards, the girl turned toward him.

"It's Drakken, he's planning to--"

"You know what, K.P.? I think I'm going to sit this one out," he said.

"Alright, suit yourself," she replied. With that, she went upstairs toward her next mission, leaving Ron still there on the floor mat. One thought clearly on his mind.

_'What in the name of the naco was that all about?' _

_

* * *

_

_End of Chapter Seven_


	9. The Almost Syndrome

Tales of The Awkward: The Almost Syndrome

* * *

Right now, during a beautiful late summer afternoon, Ron Stoppable was so freaking nervous and shaken up, his middle name could be 'Jumpy' by about now. 

He must've laid there on that floor mat for an hour or so, thinking about what had happened about thirty minutes ago. Wait a minute... on the floor mat for an hour, thinking about what had happened thirty minutes ago?

The blond was literally a beep away from his best friend, Kim Possible locking lips with him for the first time ever, and boy... did it shake him up. And by the term 'shaken up', we're not just talking about the garden variety shaken up... We're talking about 'carbonated beverage-on-a-roller-coaster' shaken up, or 'a heavyweight boxer after ten rounds with the champ' shaken up, or, of course, 'Boston, Massachusetts on the evening of August 21st, 2006' shaken up.

Now **_that's _**shaken up.

Every time he attempted to take his mind off of it, it just came back. Every single thought, every cerebration... every freaking... conjecture was about her.

No more... He couldn't deal with this for much longer... Yes, it could have happened. It would have happened. Damn it all to hell, it _should have_ happened. However, when he least expected it, a little beep from a pocket-sized communication device kept him from...

...blissful happiness for all of eternity?

...an excitable situation that would remember for the rest of his life?

...a one-time surprise that would never happen again?

Or... even more confusion down the road?

Or… a combination of all four at once?

Ohhh, boy... Jumpy was getting very much confused, and that led to Jumpy being very much upset. Why couldn't he just drop this subject?

_Hmm, perhaps because of the likelihood of his best companion sharing the same sentiments as he does was thought to be unlikely until what had happened earlier, despite the fact that they're supposed to be just... companions... er, friends... _

_Er... cronies... _

_Um... how about confreres...?_

_Confidants? _

Grrr... Jumpy... or Ron tried several times to try and get his mind off of the near miss and the new mess that he got himself into. True story... He attempted to think of things that were positive... Like, his grades rising in the junior year next semester... or perhaps, going through a mission without his trousers dropping to his ankles... That was definitely positive. Another positive thought... yeah, he was getting somewhere... Hm... graduating from high school with significant honors. But then again, another positive thought that trumped all of those put together would be...

...passionately making out with Kim Possible.

No, No, No!

'OK… negative thoughts!' He urged himself. Negative thoughts like... failing classes next semester and going to Summer School as a result. Or perhaps being knocked down for the count by the bad guys... Hmmm, what about cooking up a disaster in Home Ec? That was certainly negative. Then again, the vision of Senor Senior Jr. in a thong was pretty negative... and disgusting... or falling into a bottomless pit... or... a return to Camp Wannaweep... Whew! Now that was negative. Negative like... evil squirrels, or... or... freakish-looking mutant humanoid fish... or the GOP retaining the Senate in November... Man that'd be seriously negative, _but it didn't happen..._ thankfully. Or worse yet, a sudden spike in the president's approval rating.

Ron shivered violently... now, **that **was negative.

However, he did know of a thought that wasn't negative.

The thought of Kim Possible the world defending super heroine and his best friend, kissing the absolute daylights of him. Her warm body of top of his and hands... his hands running all throughout her lustrous auburn hair, in the basement of her abode, with no foreseeable chances of any interruptions. Her toned legs, hidden behind baggy pants, keeping him from moving a muscle... both of them moaning sensually... her hands roaming all over his chest and non-existent abs, and his traveling down the small of her back and downward past her waist, onto her nicely, no, beautifully shaped a...

...Wait... No!

The boy literally smacked himself -- 'No thinkee about makee outee with Kimmie!'

For the seventeenth (or maybe eighteenth) time that afternoon, he couldn't stop himself from contemplating the possibilities... Despite the fact that they were so darn pleasant... and his cerebral cortex wasn't the only one who shared the same sentiment with him.

"Damn you..." He said to that particular organ below his waist.

Well, there was no reason for him to hang around the basement now... He needed to head home, and keep himself from thinking things through even further...

...and maybe take about a half-dozen cold showers.

* * *

Another mission executed. Another Drakken plot foiled. Another couple of knuckle sandwiches dealt to overmatched henchmen, another round of intensive care for Shego. All in a day's work, no big. 

But for reason, the teen heroine was feeling conflicted on the ride back toward the homestead. Kim Possible's head wasn't focused on her latest victory over the vile villains at that point in time. In fact, her mind wasn't very much on the evil opposition the entire trip and the trip back. Even though she took her foes down with the greatest of ease, there was something unsettled with her at that moment.

_But what was it? _

_Was it the fact that her reclining bucket seat wasn't at an upright and locked position? _

That wasn't exactly unsettling...  
_  
Was it the fact that Ben Savage was alive, despite the stupid rumors on the net?_

That wasn't unsettling... In fact, it was comforting. _Ben Savage is soooo hot._

_Was it Shego asking for Ron's number during their confrontation? _

_Well, that was kind of unsettling... OK... Very. _

_'Think harder, Kimmie.' _

Who the heck was that voice in her head? And why did that voice in her head sound like Shego?

_'You can't be serious... You don't remember who I am?' _

Remember... Who was that...? It took a couple of moments before Kim finally realized it...

* * *

_The Inevitable Return of Hormonia! (In Technicolor!)_

"You again?" Asked Kim. Her troubled state had nothing to do with rogue hormones, did it?

_Little did she realize that with teenagers, troubled states had **everything** to do with rogue hormones! _

_"Don't play dumb with me, Kimmie, you know why I'm here," Hormonia replied. _

Kim was confused and amazed... Amazed how her hormones could know more than she does.

"No, I don't," the teen heroine said truthfully. "A-And why do you sound like Shego?"

_"Oh, that?" The hormone said, offhandedly. "Yeah, I knew you would respond to a more familiar voice." _

Kim was rendered speechless. How could **hormones **play mind games?

_"I told you I wouldn't be ignored any longer, Kimmie," she continued declaratively, a thin smile appearing on her face.. _

The redhead still remained speechless... She thought that it more of a threat rather than a promise. Even more importantly, she still didn't know what the deceiving hormone was referring to.

_"So you don't feel like remembering, huh? Let me jog your memory... Remember that... 'vivid dream' you had?" _

_The teen adventurer gasped like she was exposed to light after hours of darkness. _

"That was you?" She asked.

_"No, Kimmie. As a matter of fact, it was you," The hormone answered. _

_Before Kim had a chance to protest the judgement, Hormonia explained. _

"_Remember that little fact about dreams -- About the last thing you think about becomes the subject of your dreams?" _

But she wasn't thinking about... Wait, she was.

_"You were soooo close, Kim. How could you let a little beep stop you?" The conniving hormone asked in her normal voice. "You won't let school or freaky villains stop you from saving the world or getting straight-A's, but you let the Kimmunicator stop you from planting one on the boy you've crushing hard on?" _

_"I am not crushing hard on Ron," Kim stated harshly. "You made try to do that..." _

_"Oh, I did, did I?" _

"Well, duh... There's no other reason why I would--"

Hormonia cut her off... _"So who am I, then?" _

"That's easy," Kim replied. "You're a figment of my imagination."

"_And if I'm a figment of your imagination, then..."_ Hormonia continued.

Kim stopped, the truth dawning on her. "Then _I _wanted to..."

"...Plant a big wet one on him,"

Once again, Kim didn't respond, as the figment of her imagination was unraveling the truth before her.

"Come on, Kim. It's not all that bad," she continued. "It's not like he's one of those other boys that you--"

"He _isn't _like the boys," Kim concurred. "He's _Ron!_"

Hormonia was clearly unimpressed with that sentiment. "Oh, come on, Kim. You and I both know that you can't hide behind that for much longer. You're sixteen, he's going to be sixteen, both of your hormones are way out control, as you can see, and let's face it, your starting to notice him, and he notices you."

"Wait... he notices me?" The teen adventurer asked in a small voice.

The hormone groaned in frustration. _"Teenagers... so clueless..." _

"Um, yes, he does," she answered as if it was obvious. "Jeez, Kimmie, you can pay attention to mad scientists, your grades, natural disasters, and those ridiculous _BCS Standings_, but you can't pay attention to that blond-haired cutie that stands alongside of you all the time? You'd think paying him some mind would at least be affordable."

"Wait, what's affordable, and who's a cutie?" A confused Kim asked.

Even though Hormonia was but a mere product of the redhead's imagination, it was almost certain that her hand was probably clapping against her face right about now.

"Are you serious, or just doing a Oscar-worthy performance at playing dumb?"

"No," The redhead answered, not really answering the question that was presented.

"Grrr... What's affordable is paying more attention to the cutie, who happens to be your sidekick."

"OK, Ron is a lot of things, but he is not a cutie," Kim replied sharply.

_"O Rly?_ Then what is he?"

_The Unofficial Count-off Before Kim Possible Labels Ron Stoppable as 'Cute', let us begin, shall we? _

"Well..." Kim stalled momentarily. "He's loyal."

_That's one._

"...he's trustworthy..."

_And… two._

"He's funny... sometimes."

_Three. She's struggling there a little bit. _

As more visions of her blond companion came to her, the girl's expression warmed ever-so slightly.

"He's really silly..."

_And… four; Struggling like the Yankees in the playoffs nowadays... _

"...but he's really sweet, too."

_Five; Resistance Slowly Breaking Down. _

"And... I guess... he's kind of... cute... sometimes."

_Five! Your Final Score: 5. _

"Wow," Hormonia said with a knowing snicker. "Only took five words... Looks like I just lost a bet... Anyway, Kim, I'm glad you can finally admit your interest in Ron to at least yourself, but--"

"But, what do I do now?" Kim asked, her resolve shaken a bit. "Just because I admitted it doesn't mean I'm just going to go over to his doorstep and spill my guts to him."

"Yeah, that is a pretty high risk," the hormone mused thoughtfully. "But, a doable one."

"Doable?" The redhead asked doubtfully. "Risking a long-term friendship over what may or may not be a crush? Uh-uh, so not doable."

"Ugh," the imaginary impulse groaned disgustedly. "I-I don't get it, I just don't understand it. You risk your life on almost a daily basis against megalomaniacal individuals who are hell-bent on..."

As the hormone ranted, Kim shook her head, as she knew where this going.

"--And furthermore, you risked your own--" she continued.

"Uh, hello, Miss Figment of my Imagination?"

"You'd better have a good reason to interrupt my tirade."

"If I tried to clarify what's going on with Ron and myself... Would that make you..."

"...Make me what?" The hormone asked hurriedly.

"...Would that make you shut you the _--(censored)--_ up?" Kim asked, aggravated.

"Oh... Yeah, probably."

"Fine, then I'll try," Kim insisted.

"Do... or do not, there is no 'try'," The hormone said 'sagely.'

**(S-Chrome wonders if George Lucas will sue the pants off him.) **

Kim sighed. "You know, if I was to tell the world that I'm hearing voices in my head, they would put me in the crazy house, and you'll never get your satisfaction."

Hormonia didn't respond, which caused the redhead to smile thinly. She knew that little crack would make shut her the --(censored)-- up.

* * *

The warm afternoon had turned into a warm night. However, to help make the evening... not-so-hot were the attempted cold showers that Ron Stoppable tried to take. After the third, he came to a conclusion that this practice wasn't exactly his cup of tea. After trying to meditate, eat a monumental sandwich, take another cold shower, and repeatedly knocking himself over the head, he sat down and tried to cool himself off by staring at the jumping box for an hour so. 

Jumping Box?

Or... the television.

'Flipping through stations... Get my mind off of this... That would do it.'

_"Next on Keith Aglow, medical studies that show that suppressing nascent feelings of love and why it will eventually lead to a massive Heart Attack."_

The remote control clicked on contact.

--Click--

_"But, Johan, how was I supposed to know that you've loved me for so long?" _

_"I know, Amy, I know... But try and hear me out, please." _

_"But, Johan! This is my wedding!" _

_"You're right, Amy. I'll leave now..." _

Ron's left eye twitched.

--Click--

_"Here lies Michael Schreiger, Born August Second, 1954. For almost thirty years, he had fallen desperately in love with his best companion, Anna McKinnon. After she rejected him, he died nine months after the incident. Though he died running into a wall, the experts say that he really perished from a broken heart."  
_  
Ron's right eye twitched.

--Click--

_"It took me a really long time to get here, but I'm here. Carrie, you're the one."_

That did it... The blond nearly chucked the remote through the television. and it probably went through had the television hadn't been one of those HDTV's. Either way, to escape what the television was subliminally saying to him, the boy took off toward his room. He plunged onto his bed, as he did weeks ago. As he stared at the open window and into the muggy night, he surmised that he was going to be thinking about this the rest of the night, and the rest of the week, and probably for the rest of the month... maybe even the...

Suddenly the telephone rang.

The boy suddenly got nervous more than he was frustrated.

'Please don't let it be Kim,' he begged.

Before he had a chance to be thoroughly spooked, the phone stopped ringing after just one chime, which made the blond stare quizzically at the phone on his desk.

Strange, Kim wouldn't usually just ring once. Then again, maybe it wasn't Kim. Or... maybe it wasn't for him. Yeah, that was probably the case. Perhaps it was just somebody... a family member or... someone calling for either his mom or dad. But they were on a vacation in Florida... and they themselves called about an hour ago, checking if the house wasn't on fire.

Well, good news for them was the fact that it wasn't on fire... yet.

He checked the caller's ID, which didn't give any further information than the number in itself. Something weird was going on here. Heck, at least it had his attention for now. He was about to return to his bed, when the phone rang once again. The blond raced over to it, only to miss it. Once again, after just one ring, the caller gave up. What was up with this phone tag business? Was someone playing mind games with him? Whatever it was and whatever the motives that this person had, it certainly had his attention.

Had his attention, unlike some certain red-headed super heroine-slash-enchantress that he happened to know.

* * *

The phone hit the receiver for the second time in ten minutes. 

She couldn't do this... An hour or so ago, though, she could've sworn that she did.

What if he was unresponsive and oblivious to her advances like the last time? What if he clearly wasn't interested? What if anyone got word of her failure? Sometimes she tell would herself that she didn't care about the popularity factor in and around the circles of Middleton High, but in truth, she did, though not at much as some others. If she didn't care as much as she did, she wouldn't be one of the school's cheerleaders, though it was debatable if she was dragged in or...

She was getting carried away. The girl was either going to call Ron Stoppable, or she wasn't, and that was the long and short of it. She remembered chickening out more than a half dozen times before, she promised herself that the next time would be the last time... and the last time meant that was going to give up on the young man all together.

Give up? Heck, she liked the scrawny blond before everyone else did, that was probably one of the few reasons why she held out hope. She saw the potential in him when he was wearing those cargo pants... Only thing was, she was a little more ashamed of the fact that she had that little teensy-weensy crush on him.

Nowadays, it wasn't exactly teensy-weensy, though.

'It was just a phone call,' she urged herself. Everyone was capable of doing that.

Right?

Steeling her nerves once again, she picked the telephone off of the receiver. At the pick-up of the appliance, a sudden pang of hesitance struck her.

She could do this, darn it. No more chickening out!

She had the earpiece of the phone at her ear... It was just a matter of dialing eleven numbers... No wait, twelve numbers, including the '1.' After hearing the familiar chimes, she knew that she was halfway there.

_Beep-Boop-Beep..._

The ringback tone sounded once, then twice... She quickly feared that her past calls would lead to Ron simply ignoring her. After the thid ringback, she conceded giving up...

_...The phone just had to start ringing while he was in the bathroom, didn't it?_

_Rushing out of the washroom, Ron ran to the nearest location of where a phone was. In his haste, he nearly tripped over his own sneakers. With a surprising show of dexterity, though, the blond managed to stay on his feet._

_Riiiiing!  
_  
Fourth Ring... It wouldn't be long before she got the answering machine.

_The Caller ID showed that it was the same number that called minutes ago. With a tired sigh, he picked up the phone. This had better be worth almost losing his life for._

_"Hello?"_

"Hello, is Ron there?" She asked timidly.

_"Speaking," he replied. The voice on the other end sounded familiar, but not exactly familiar enough. "Who is this?"_

Now exactly wasn't the time was to forget her own name. She quickly took a deep breath.

"Oh... This is _Tara_"

* * *

End of Chapter Eight 

Questions? Comments? Happy that Ben Savage is alive? Well, I know I am... Anyways... Review. I guess.


	10. Evasive Maneuvers

Tales of The Awkward: Evasive Maneuvers

* * *

Fireworks should be lighting up the hazy August night sky. Futuristic visions of lovers kissing underneath the starlight should be igniting inside his head... Well, maybe not exactly that. Even without the futuristic visions, he had knew that it had finally happened... for the first time in modern history... Forget modern history, this was history in the making; Ron Stoppable. _The _Ron Stoppable: _Former _stumblebum. _Former_ loser._ Former_ froob with absolute flying colors, had himself a _date!_

An actual real-live date… strange and crazy it was.

And it wasn't one of those pity deals either. This was for real. Complete with nervous silence, the surprise, and the all-important victory lap that was to be run afterward...

...well, that victory lap was to follow.

The blond still couldn't get over who was on the other end of the line. He was almost been told everything by the blonde over the telephone, and yet, he could still barely believe it... Whoever thought that in a million years that Tara, one of the more attractive Middleton High Mad Dog cheerleaders... Well, all of them were fairly attractive... except maybe Liz... Either way, who would've known that Tara had eyes for him?

_Wait a minute, don't answer that._

It might not have come off as a surprise to those few who actually knew, but for the blond-haired mascot of Middleton High, it came off as an utter kick in the face. Well, actually, a _good _kick in the face. Actually, a kick in the face was never good, no matter which way you spun it. OK... It was like a nice Hawaiian Punch... except without all of the Citric Acid. He should totally be bouncing off the walls by now. He wanted to tell everyone of his decisive victory over... whatever he was going up against. Above all that, he wanted to do his victory lap, followed by climbing up a flight of steps Rocky Balboa-style and proclaim to the entire _universe _Ronald Stoppable had himself a date for the first time in his adolescent life.

Being fifteen going on sixteen had never felt so awesome...

"Yah-Boo!" He raved to no one in partcular

Hold the phone, that didn't come out exactly right...

* * *

Speaking of holding phones... 

It had been about fifteen minutes since Ron had hung up, and sure, the sound of a telephone off the hook was mildly annoying with all of that buzzing and what-not. But nothing, and by nothing, not even mindless New England-biased drivel from Bill Simmons could bring Tara down from her emotional high right now.

Not _that _kind of high. But the high that one gets when the person that they happen to be crushing on actually acknowledges you.

It was kind of that high that left her hyperventilating, nervy, and as giddy as a schoolgirl.

Wait, she **was** a schoolgirl.

She knew that she could do it... Though she didn't know what the result was going to be. When she called up, though, it seemed as though Ron was caught off guard from her call, which was strange. Sure, he was a bit quirky, but that certainly stop the girls from turning their heads recently.

But the other girls didn't matter right now, for Friday, she was all his, and everything was going be... stereotypically perfect.

"Mmm," Tara swooned at the thought of one lanky blond-haired boy. This was going to be the Friday night that dreams were made of.

That is, if people dreamt of Friday nights, of course.

* * *

For as great as this occurrence was, there was just one particular hitch to this sitch. Even past the victory speech, and the running of a mile, and the telling everyone he knows... Telling everyone he knew would mean... 

...telling Kim.

Wait a minute, who was this Kim anyway?

Ah, yes... That acquaintance of his... The girl with the red hair who saved the world on occasion... The girl that didn't have his... undivided attention, up until... _One second ago._

All thoughts of utter glory of getting a date quickly dissolved back into Kim. Most likely in the vein of 'What in the heck was he going to tell her'? Would he give her the straight and honest truth, or would he make some sort of obscene lie about what was going on? How was she going to take this? Would she be in favor of her best friend finally getting a first date for the first time... or would she be against it?

Hm... These were several questions that would remain unanswered, for now.

But then again, there wouldn't be any reason for his best friend in the whole world to be against him going out on a date...

...Unless she was really trying to tell him something with that near miss earlier that afternoon.

Oh... Goodness! What if he _did _miss something? What if she was trying to tell him something? The boy nearly turned pale at the thought of it.

She had almost kissed him, and here he was thinking about a date with another girl?

_Then, at a moment's notice while mounted on the headless horse, returned the knight of confloption. _

_Confloption? _

All of a sudden, all the victory lap business began to fade away. Every time he had previously thought that he had erased the girl from his thoughts, she would creep right back in. He figured with that phone call from the unexpected, his misgivings about his best friend would be forgotten, but instead, all it did was open up a brand new can of worms. It was three nights before his date with the flaxen-haired young woman, and Ron's thought process was going to be stuck on something else.

This was not boding well for the Ron-man, not a-tall.

The next morning didn't bring any further answes for the dilemma that he was in. As he entered the bathroom for a shower, he quickly realized that there was nothing funny about double jeopardy unless a contestant blew all his or her money away on a Daily Double.

The greedy fools...

As he turned the knob of the faucet, another nasty realization knocked on the proverbial door; Friday nights were usually the nights Kim and himself did things together... Well, not things like _that, _but they would do things like go to the cinema, watch some TV at his or her house, or hop over to the carnival when it was in town. Fun and entertaining stuff like that...

_But don't you dare call it dating, though. _

In fact, Kim began to coin Friday nights as "Ron Nights." Whatever that meant...

Breaking that stuff up this Friday Night would be like breaking tradition...

...Breaking tradition, like what Kim almost did that Fourth of July weekend. Hmph, Vince Vinson didn't let a little thing called 'tradition' stop him from asking Kim out for the Fourth, and her saying yes... Hey, wait a sec!

Yes! Ron had something!

* * *

_Ammunition! (am-yuh-**nish**-uh) n. _

1. The material fired, scattered, dropped, or detonated from any weapon, as bombs or rockets, and esp. shot, shrapnel, bullets, or shells fired by guns.

_2. The means of igniting or exploding such material, as primers, fuses, and gunpowder _

3. Information, advice, or supplies that help defend or attack a viewpoint, argument, or claim.

_4. Something that will guarantee Ron Stoppable a date this Friday Night... Boo-Yah! _

* * *

He had himself something in the form of ammunition. Good old, trusty armaments... Ammo that he had that time when he was trapped in the Janitor's Closet that entire weekend, due to his best friend's negligence and her being totally drawn to Mankey-boy... He chose to let that flap slide because he didn't want any confrontation... and besides, Kim was so joyous that Monday afternoon, he didn't want to spoil that for her. 

But this time around... Yessir! He had beautiful, gorgeous ammunition. A trump card to keep his best friend at bay if she didn't approve of his upcoming date with Tara... She would accept it, one way or another, or else...

He took a look at himself in the mirror... This was no good, and he knew it too.

Ron Stoppable wasn't the type to hold a grudge, and he wasn't going to begin holding any now that he was going out with a girl. He stepped out of the bathroom feeling like his stratagem was right back to Square One. 'Honesty was always the best policy,' he thought to himself. The age-old proverb was the sage words of his father and many others before him...

_Hopefully, honesty won't leave him with a broken nose..._

_

* * *

_

_The Pep-Talk: Version 7.3e Build 4402 _

"So what do you think, Monique? Do you think it would be safe to...?"

"That's your problem, Kim. Everything's gotta be safe with you," Monique chided from the other end of the line. "I don't know how someone who..."

"I've heard that one before, Mo," Kim cut in.

"Ah... What I'm saying is, you've got to put yourself out there once in a while."

"Yeah, but I'm going to be putting myself out there _to Ron_," The redhead replied, a trace of fear in her voice. "I mean, do I really have to ask him out?"

"Whoa-Whoa, Kim," Monique countered. " Rome wasn't built in a day. Since Ron is still in that 'zone,' you may want to start small... Like say, if there a day where you two exclusively hang out or..."

"Like Friday nights?" Kim chimed in.

"You guys hang out on Friday nights? Are you _sure_ you haven't hooked up yet?"

Kim laughed dryly. "Very Funny... And yes, I'm sure."

"Anyway, during that night, what you might want to do is go little by little as you along."

"But what if he doesn't respond to my advances? I mean, this is _Ron _we're talking about here."

"Eh... Then you'll want to do what you did yesterday..."

On the Possible end of the line, Kim could almost see the sardonic smile painted on the face of her female friend.

"But... From what you've told me, I think he would know,"

"How can you be so sure about this, Monique? I mean--"

The fashion store clerk sighed. "Look, Kim... You're not going to go anywhere with this if your going to keep questioning yourself... and me, for the matter. Now, remember what I told you, there are two rules to this game; Number One is to react and don't think all of the time, and number two is thinking of this process like the Major League Baseball regular season."

"Wait... You mean, it's boring until the final two weeks?" Kim asked.

"No," Monique replied, her eyes rolling toward the sky.

_"Oh... You mean, it's just a matter of when the Red Sox will collapse?"_

"No, Kim!" The professional wrestling enthusiast shouted. How _dare _she say that about _her_ Red Sox...

"Oh! You mean it's a marathon and not a sprint."

"Correct," Monique replied, shaking her head. "Since there's no direct competition with anyone else..."

_Little did either of them realize... _

"...This can take as long as you want it to... Besides, Ron would be absolutely out of his mind to not hook up with you. So, don't overdo it, and after some time, he'll be putty in your hands... I think."

"Where do you get all of this advice from, Mo?"

"Oh, I watch a lot of _Grey's Anatomy,_" she replied.

Ah... That explained it.

**(Pssh, No, it didn't.) **

"Thanks for the talk, Mo... I really appreciate it," Kim said gratefully. "I feel a lot better about this now."

"Well, you should," Monique replied. "Now, go get 'im."

"If there's anything I could---"

"Uh... Yeah. If things between you and Ron don't exactly pan out, try not to act surprised if you see me going after him. 'Cause you know, 'Once you go..."

Monique then heard the familiar sound of a click, then a dial tone. Hmph, is that the thanks she gets for providing invaluable advice?

_"Ingrate..." _

_

* * *

_

It had been the middle of the afternoon, and Ron still didn't have himself a course of action to deal with his current state of affairs. Right about now, nothing was coming up in that big, blond brain of his... Well, his brain wasn't exactly blond, but by the way he was thinking, it was kind of hard to tell. Kim was due back in town any hour and his right mind was drawing an absolute blank. He hoped that by now, something would come up... But that was yesterday's excuse.

Then again, he had an idea of what may give his cerebral cortex a jump start.

Rushing over to his room, he scooped his best friend that wasn't a human being.

"Hey, Rufus, ol' pal... Ready for a daily dose of greasy, fattening Tex-Mex fast food?"

_Who wouldn't be ready for that? _

The most famous naked mole rat nodded affirmatively. Within minutes, the blond whisked the rodent away to their favorite greasy, fattening Tex-Mex fast-food joint...

No... Not _Taco Bell_...

* * *

_Delay... Delay... Delay..._

What was a gawky teenage boy to do? Night had fallen, and still, he had absolutely nothing... Heck, being that it was the summertime, it took a long darn time for night to fall, too... In addition to that, Kim left him a message whilst he was stuffing his face at Bueno Nacho (Not Taco Bell)... The gist of the message was the fact that she was coming over later tonight! And worse yet, she didn't specify the exact time, effectively leaving the blond without time for preparation! Was the blond addled about this matter?

Of course not! The blond possessed nerves of steel... Nothing ever rattled him. How ready for the redhead's arrival was he?

Oh, come on! Hiding underneath the covers in his bed? Well, that's just uncalled for!

He was bigger and better than this. This was all about growing up and being a man about matters like this. And blast it, he could handle this! He was Ron Stoppable, for crying out loud! There was no reason for him to react to all this in the manner of...

_Ding-Dong.  
_  
As if Jason or Freddy Krueger rang the doorbell, Ron ducked underneath the sheets once again. _Guess that courageous spurt of his disappeared like the legend of Tony Romo._

What was taking Ron so long? It was freezing cold out here!

To tell the truth, it wasn't freezing cold out as it was late August, but Kim was getting impatient at the time it took for the boy to open the door. He couldn't be sleeping already as the sun has just set about thirty minutes ago. What was taking him?

On the other side of the door, Ron took one of those 'deep, cleansing breaths' that one would take before, during, or after seeing a psychiatrist. He could do this... Besides, Mama Stoppable ain't never raised no punks... did she?

He turned the knob quickly. No surprise - it was Kim.

Surprise - One second after he had opened the door and before had a shadow of an opportunity to greet her, the slender redhead immediately squeezed him like a can of... disgusting Easy Cheese.

"K.P.," he wheezed after being squeezed. "What was that for?"

That question caught the girl off guard.

"Can't a girl be happy to see her best friend?" She asked in an even tone.

"Uh, yeah..." Ron replied, taking in valuable oxygen. "With or without squeezing the oxygen out of so-called best friend, give or take..."

Kim shot him a look that was enough to make him back off of those words. "Eh, I mean..." He apologized. "I-uh... missed you too," he corrected himself with a silly expression on his face. Lucky for him, the world-defending girl didn't keep her countenance after his little crack, because that look would have certainly killed… namely him.

Was it the silly joke, or was it the silly look on his face or was it both that made Kim crack a grin in her best friend's general direction?

"So, K.P., what's new?"

"Oh nothing," she replied. "Just thought I'd hang out," she added as she took a seat on the couch. "You know?"

"Yeah, I do know... But I can't really hang right now," the blond replied, his hand massaging the back of his neck nervously.

"Why not?" Kim asked, clearly disappointed.

_Do it, Ron, Do It! _

_"Uh, well, my parents are due back from Florida any hour now and I've gotta clean the place up," he said quickly and bit quietly. While his parents were due back in town soon, his E.T.A. was early at best. _

The auburn-haired girl took a look around at the interior of the Stoppable home. She didn't see much wrong with the place.

"The place looks fine to me," she stated.

_Uh-Oh... Follow-Up, Ron. Follow-Up!_

"Eh, you know how it is with the 'rents," he said with a nervous chuckle. "Total neat freaks... Am I right?"

She couldn't exactly put a fine point on it, but Ron was acting a bit strange at this point. She, however, wasn't going to question his reasoning. With a shrug, she got up from the couch and went toward the door.

"We are still on for Friday Night, right?" The redhead asked turning toward him.

_She would **have** to ask that._ Furthermore, why did she ask the way she did? It's not like they were dating or anything, right? Right? _Right?_

"Uhh... About that.. I don't I'm going to be able to make it..." he replied, avoiding all eye contact with her.

"Really? Why not?"

"I think I might be catching something... I think I got a fever..."

At a moment's notice, the teen super heroine placed the back of her hand on the boy's forehead. _Bad Idea._

"You feel fine to me..."

"You're right, K.P., I'm not sick"

"So what's the problem, Ron?"

The sidekick remained tight-lipped. He was caught between a rock and a hard place, contemplating on whether or not he should tell his best friend of over a decade of his good news... or bad news.

Kim was puzzled at what may have been going on with blond. This day he seemed to be devoid of his usual self... whatever that was. Still, it was bothering her why Ron wasn't telling her why they weren't hooking up in two days.

"Ron..." She began, taking the boy's hand. The redhead was even more surprised why the freckled boy attempted to pry his hand away, but ignored it. She also attempted to look into his eyes, but he kept looking away. What was up with him?

"...Ron, we've been through almost everything, right?"

"Uh, well, yeah."

Ron knew full well that he was headed for the dreaded Guilt Trip Talk between friends... or did he?

"And we've told each other everything without judging one another, right?"

The boy sighed. "Yes," he answered lowly.

"We're best friends, Ron. You can tell me anything, just like I know that I can tell you anything," she said with a friendly smile. If the smile on the auburn-haired girl's face or the fact that she turned his head to face her didn't rattle Ron, then the fact that she was squeezing his hand certainly did. Rattled or not, Kim was right. Usually, they never kept anything from each other... Except that certain July weekend earlier in the summer. Then again, two wrongs never made a right.

Looking into her eyes, he decided that she deserved to hear the truth. Even though that Independence Day weekend... Never mind.

"You're right, K.P.," he said, shaking his head.

"I know I am," the redhead retorted with a cheeky grin. "So, what's the reason why you're canceling on Friday night?"

"Uh..."

_Remember, Ron... She deserved to hear this._

"Well, last night, after you went off to stop Drakken's take-over-the-world scheme, I got a call from ..."

He stopped in his tracks... Should the truth _really _be told?

**(Yes, damn it!)**

"... Tara."

Kim raised an eyebrow. Why would Tara call Ron? In fact, where the _hell _did Tara get Ron's number from?

"So we talked for about twenty minutes, had a few laughs, reminisced about the good old days of junior high school... that kind of stuff. Man, that Tara is really cool, and a real nice person. I don't know why they say blondes are stupid, because she seems pretty sharp to me. Sharp like a knife... speaking of knives, don't ever take sharp end of a knife when someone is handing it to you... I've been there before, and it wasn't pleasant. Speaking of pleasant, wasn't it a pleasant day here in Middleton today?.. Not too much heat, not too much humidity, it was real..."

"Ron!"

:"What?"

"You're rambling... Get back to the Tara thing," Kim commanded.

"Oh! Uh... Well, after we finished talking about the good old days, she asked me if I wanted to hang out with her on Friday night and boy, was I taken by surprise... real surprise. No girl has asked me to hang with them in like... ever."

* * *

_Infractions with the Awkward Referee. _

_1. "Illegal Procedure, Rambling on the blond freckled boy. Still doing it after best friend told him to stop. Five yard penalty, repeat your reasoning." _

_2. "We also have a Common Knowledge False Start on the blond freckled boy for passing off pertinent information without emphasizing it. That's a ten yard penalty."_

_3, "Finally, we have a personal foul on the blond freckled boy. Failing to recognize his best companion, who happens to be of the female sex, asks him out almost every Friday night. That's a fifteen yard penalty and a loss of down. The penalties will all be assessed and it will be fourth and fourty-five."_

_

* * *

_

"...I kinda didn't know what to say to her..." Ron trailed off.

"What _did_ you say?" Kim asked a slight, itty-bitty, microscopic, smaller-than-Mission Impossible 3's plot air of jealousy in her voice.

"I said... er... I kinda said..."

Ron took a deep breath. There was nothing to be ashamed of here, even though he thought that there was.. "I said, Yes."

_And that's when the volcano erupted... but what kind of eruption? _

_"Oh..." The redhead simply replied. There were no questions, no anger, and most importantly, no molten hot lava. The blond was partly relieved from her reaction. _

"S-So, you're OK with that?" Ron asked, fully aware that the roles were simply reversed that fateful Friday night.

_"Of course I'm not OK with it, Ron! Are you kidding me! Asking a stupid question like that. I oughta pull those ears of yours right off and feed them to you, you little..."  
_  
"Yeah... of course," Kim replied. "We're best friends, right?"

It's strange... Maybe it was the fact that girls matured faster than boys, but Ron was certain that he didn't and wouldn't have taken this as well as K.P. was taking it.

"Yeah, we are," the sidekick replied, his lips curling upward.

"I knew it was about time before my Ron grew up," she said almost wistfully. "So go get 'em," she added, giving the blond a playful nudge to his jaw.

Oh, did she want to chin-check this boy right now...

"You sure you're fine with this?"

"Yes, I'm fine with it., Ron."

Hold It!

* * *

_Critical Error 323B: The Deadly Two Words_

_Description: "I'm fine (with it or just by itself).", "Everything's fine.", "It's OK."_

_Symptoms: When girls say words of this nature, it means **it means the exact opposite.** In other words, homeboy, whatever you did, you screwed up big time, Big Boy. _

_Treatment: Hope you like kissing feet for about three weeks. _

* * *

No lie to Kim Possible had stung as much as that one. If she stayed here for a moment longer, the nasty, jealous truth was going to come out, and it was going to come in a hurry. She had to get out of this immediately. 

"Hey, Ron... I uh, gotta go... Family stuff," she quickly said.

"Oh... Well, OK." replied Ron.

"I guess I'll see you on Monday then...?" Kim asked. '_Or does Tara have you booked for the rest of next week and the summer?' _

_"Yeah, Monday... And don't worry, K.P. I'll fill you in on all the details," the freckled-faced boy joked, a wink in the redhead's direction. _

"Yeah..." Kim only managed to say before she let herself out of the Stoppable home. In her haste, she didn't bother to close the door on her way out. Surprised at the girl's haste, Ron went over to door and shut it slowly. When he heard the click of the door, he exhaled deeply.

'Wow,' Ron thought to himself. Kim is some kind of best friend. He was truly lucky to have a girl like that in his corner... if she wasn't, then things would be catastrophic for him.

Simply catastrophic.

* * *

End of Chapter Nine 

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Can Eli Manning lead the Giants to a playoff berth? God, I hope so. Anyway, review... and review often.

S-Chrome.


	11. A Midsummer Night's Jealousy

Tales of The Awkward: Chapter 10: A Midsummer Night's Jealousy_

* * *

_

When people thought of dangerous natural disasters, such as a hurricane, a tornado, an earthquake, or Donald Trump, their natural impulse is to go as far away from the phenomenon (or Donald Trump) as they possibly could. However, this natural disaster was walking and talking, and melting down even further as the minutes went on by. This natural disaster's long red hair was a wildfire, scorching the earth in it's wake. Her twin emerald green orbs were a nuclear meltdown, five times more intense more than any Chernobyl, and her thoughts were as stormy as a swirling typhoon in the Atlantic. Wait, that's a hurricane in the Atlantic, and a typhoon in the Pacific.

Kim Possible didn't know whether to feel disappointed in the fact that she may not get an opportunity to see Ron as more than her best friend this Friday or to be angry at him for having a social life while she was away fighting evil. That led to her being confused, and that led to frustration, and that led to her being more upset.

When she reached her home, she didn't have time to realize that she nearly slammed the poor front door and the door to her bedroom off their respective hinges. Besides, when did property damage ever matter when one was in a jealous rage? Inside her room, she trudged over to her bed and promptly threw herself on it. She placed a soft pillow over her head to shield herself from just about everything. She didn't want to see anything. She didn't want to hear anything. Hell, right about now, she would probably be okay if she didn't feel anything.

* * *

_The News Crawl_

_This is a special report from the News Channel 8 Hormone Station... A Severe Emotional Overload Warning has been issued for the immediate residents of the Possible home. An intense high-pressure system with long red hair and green-eyes had entered the premises at 9:37PM and is likely to remain stationary until after Friday. Expect frequent mood swings, damaging words, and possible hail. Residents should either leave the premises or outright avoid conflict when the storm approaches in or around their area. Take cover when necessary. Stay tuned to the News Channel 8 Hormone Station for further updates..._

_

* * *

_

The next day bought little relief. Little relief in the vein of taking aspirin for an Excedrin headache, or wearing a sweater in the blistering cold _inside the house_, or... purchasing a Sony PlayStation 3 the second it comes out, or, more realistically, the New York Giants defense.

Speaking of headache, the redhead woke up with one of the splitting variety. After all, Kim didn't have the most peaceful of rests last night. The world knew Kim as the girl who could do anything, they however, didn't know that she hated things like this; Things that she couldn't control. But then again, this was none of the world's business, was it?

_'Stupid clueless Ron,' _she fumed. 'How could you _think that I'm okay with you just running around, carousing with some girl on **our **night? Who the heck do you think you are anyway? You wait til I...' _

She did specifically remember telling him that it was okay, though. But in that situation, he was **_supposed_ **to know that it wasn't!

Straight out of her bed, the teen adventurer began to pace back and forth in her room. She just couldn't get this off her mind. All of this craziness wouldn't be happening if it wasn't for Drakken and his crazy schemes to take over the world, or Shego and her stupid barbs. Grr... Next time she saw her, there wasn't going to be any back-and-forth banter and comments about her _cute sidekick.._. just fists being connected with faces, and egos being bruised.

Throughout the morning, the auburn-haired girl deflected the blame of this matter from one person to another. From Wade to that henchman who just had to go down swinging to that silly rookie cab driver. Maybe it wasn't all Ron's fault... after all, he was just a boy, and most boys were clueless. That's what Agony County taught her, anyway. However, there was a perfect person for the blame in all this, as Kim just discovered.

Tara.

Tara. That blonde-haired, blue-eyed...

_Traitor! _

_

* * *

_

_Kim Possible Presents: The who's-who of Traitors_

**_Benedict Arnold_**_ - Plotted to surrender the American Fort of West Point to the hated British. Well, hated at that time, anyway._

**_Thomas Paine_**_ - Radical English scholar and intellectual who published anti-English literature._

**_Hollywood Hulk Hogan_** _- Pumped up steroid freak that brazenly turned his back against the fans and joined the Outsiders to form the New World Order._

**_Johnny Damon_**_ – The self-proclaimed idiot and a brave man. After becoming a cult hero in Red Sox Nation, he escaped the clutches of Theo Epstein and escaped to greener... well, actually, more pinstriped pastures. He willingly dumped the evils of his hairy self to transform into a more clean-shaven soldier for the pinstriped cause. Yes, he still has a string bean for a throwing arm. But, man, did he deliver in that... ahem, late August series._

**_Ben Wallace_**_ - Afroed defensive superstar for the Detroit Pistons who ran off to Chicago to play for the Bulls. _

**_Adam Vinatieri_**_ - The greatest pressure kicker in football history who left the New England Patriots for the Indianapolis Colts. Incidentally, that still won't stop Peyton Manning from throwing five interceptions in the AFC Championship game._

**_President Charles Logan_**_ - Richard M. Nixon look-alike who purposely allowed nerve gas attacks to be carried out by Russian terrorists. Luckily, Jack Bauer made him face justice._

**_Tara King_**_ - Overly sweet and innocent blonde-haired cheerleader/bimbo who purloined Ron Stoppable out from underneath Kim Possible... Or so it seemed. _

_

* * *

_

Yes, a member of _her_ cheerleading team was stepping out with her best friend this Friday. What kind of madness was this, anyway? Forget that. How on Earth did Tara get Ron's phone number in this place? Even more importantly, when did Tara of all people start liking Ron anyway?

_Wait a minute, don't answer that. She'll get it soon enough. _

_When... When?_

Then it hit her... Not hit like a ton of bricks, but a reasonable facsimile.

_'Didn't you remember any of what happened at Camp Wannaweep months ago, or is your memory shorter than the San Diego Chargers' "run" in the playoffs? Didn't you catch Tara making all those doe eyes at him while we were stranded out there in the woods?' _

_'Wait a sec, she was, wasn't she?' _

_'I can't believe that you couldn't remember that.' _

_'Well, it wasn't important back then, now was it?'_

_

* * *

_

Meanwhile, somewhere across town, a young man was experiencing the best part of this dating game... the part before the total nervousness of one first date, not the conclusion, or the beginning, or the middle, but the anticipation that comes with the business of hooking up. Heck, Ron Stoppable didn't even have time to be nervous this day. With the blessing of Kim, he had uber-confidence in what was going to happen on that night. Indeed, in under thirty-six hours, Ron was totally going to strike out!

Wait, striking out was never a good thing. Ah! He was going to be a hit Friday night. Boo-Yah!

Now what kind of hit would he be? A single? A double? Maybe a whole round tripper? Would the third base coach wave him around the bases when it was all said and done before the outfielders hit the cut-off men?

Woo... so many possibilities. There were so many outcomes, and so many silly baseball analogies. He couldn't wait.

* * *

What did hours upon hours of roasting in one's own juices, figuratively speaking, and over-thinking do for one cheerleader that happened to save the world quite often? It got her nothing, not much, and nowhere fast. Kim had been home all day, not bothering to venture out into this crazy, mixed-up world.

Actually, the world wasn't crazy and mixed-up twenty-four hours ago, sort of like what that Jack Bauer guy goes through when he's not fighting off psychotic terrorists who let off nukes. Anyway, now that the world as she knew it was totally spinning off of its axis, that same red-haired girl was doing the very same thing, attempting to figure out a way to deal with this Ron business. Add to that the fact that it was much too hot and humid of a day to really do much of anything.

With that in mind, she knew that she couldn't sit around and let that traitorous Tara take what was... rightfully hers?

Wait, take **_what_**? What exactly Ron Stoppable to Kim Possible? He certainly wasn't hers. If she thought of him as her best friend, then why react in the fashion that was? And if it was fireworks, as she stated that starry night in July, then maybe it's not meant to be.

For the first time that day, the flame-haired girl saw things a lot more clearly. It was a shame that most or the day was spent trying to figure out who's fault it was for Ron skipping out on her when she was trying to put Monique's advice into effect. Obviously, by now she figured out that it was all Tara's fault. By her estimation, it only should have taken her until the middle of the morning to...

...and no, she was not jealous, she reassured herself. She was just a little bitter.

_A little?_

* * *

He rarely ventured into this portion of the Middleton Mall on his own, but just like he had a first date coming up, there was a first time for a lot of things. Like, say, a sports team from Philadelphia actually winning something.

Ron looked up toward the awning of the trendy clothing store known as Club Banana. Yes, it was against everything he stood for, and... Hold on. What did he stand for, anyway? Pants that fell to his ankles at the slightest provocation... was that what he stood for? No Sirree. There would be no embarrassment this Friday. Shaking his head in disgust, he entered the establishment.

Making himself as inconspicuous as possible, he made his way to the men's section. The boy was surprised to see that he was being watched --- Watched by a few girls as he walked through the shop. Even more confusing was the fact that his fly was actually up.

He gave a long look at the slacks. Hm, maybe Kim was right about this place. Most of the merchandise did look good. Now, what was his size. 30? 32? 41-0? Before any of his questions to himself were guestimated, he felt a pinch at his side. His concentration visibly broken, he turned around to see what shook him out of his...

Uh-Oh...this was unexpected.

"Eh..." Ron stammered. "Hi, Bonnie."

"Hmph. You think I didn't see you there, Stoppable?" The brunette cheerleader said, that old confrontational tone in her voice. "So, where's Kim?"

"Uh... Actually, I came here alone," the blond replied.

"Oh," Bonnie simply said. As if the girl got her hands on the last tube top before Kim did, her expression brightened considerably. Hastily, she grabbed the slightly taller boy and enveloped him in a long hug. Ron didn't know whether to be seeing stars or be as confused as figuring out what the f of x was.

For the sake of internal argument, the blond was both confused and seeing stars. The cheerleader's body was like... soft and so totally... curvy. Almost made him forget about that date with what's her name. When she released him, he had a slightly stupefied look on his face... see? Only slightly stupefied... he was improving by the day.

"Sorry about harshing on you, Ron. It's just that I haven't seen you in so long," the tanned girl confessed.

'It's only been two months and... since when was Bonnie Rockwaller ever happy to see me?'

"I-It's only been two months or so since the last day of..."

"Well, it's been two months too long, sweetie," she interceded while taking his hand, batting primped eyelashes at him all the while.

_S-s-sweetie?_

_

* * *

_

_Critical Error 262B: Unexpected Term of Endearment from Total Hottie._

_Treatment: Act like you've heard it from your mother and keep blushing to a minimum._

_

* * *

_

"I, uh..."

_Treatment failed... and only after six seconds._

"So... what are you doing here?"

"Oh... Uh, I just wanted to get something a bit special or something..."

"Why?"

In the little time that the blond had, he wondered if it would be wise to tell Bonnie the truth about why he was here.

"...Because... I have..."

"Stop," Bonnie quickly snapped. "You're lying," she added with a knowing grin

"You didn't even let me say anyth--"

"You're avoiding eye contact, Ronnie. I know you're lying," the brunette explained. "Shame on you... Not telling me the truth," she playfully scolded.

Boy, how many different girls could have Ron dead to rights? His count at this point was 7.

"Now, tell Bonnie the truth and she won't laugh at you... Much."

"Eh... the truth is that I have a date," he said slowly and uneasily.

"Oh, really?" Bonnie asked, her enthusiasm dulling. "I knew it was only a matter of time before you and--:"

:"Uh, i-it's not Kim," Ron said, already knowing where she was going.

Just like that, the brunette's vigor returned. "Really? Then who is it?"

It was good to have the upper hand in a conversation every once in a while. Ron rarely felt the upper hand, so he wanted to revel in this one for a quick second.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that," he replied with a wry grin. The girl pouted, but the sidekick wouldn't budge off this one.

"I'll get my info from... Whoops, I gotta run... But I'll see you around, Ron," she said.

"Of course you will," Ron quipped. "School starts in like, ten days."

The brunette giggled as she laid a hand across his reddening cheek, just like she did that afternoon in the cafeteria. "Hm, then hopefully it'll be sooner rather than later."

The freckle-faced boy was perplexed once again as he watched the swiveling hips of the tanned brunette disappear from his view. Then again, watching her swiveling hips would be enough to perplex any man, but that wasn't the point. Months ago, Bonnie probably wouldn't spit on him if he was on fire, and now... it's was almost like she liked him.

Nah... That couldn't be. She was being nice to him now that he wasn't in her bad graces anymore. It couldn't have been any more than that. Besides, just as quickly as she could be nice to him, she could be that the prissy, stuck-up, self-centered, gold-digging, snooty, conniving _Ho-Bag_ that she was to him months back. Plus already had a fairly attractive girl interested in him.

He shook his head and returned to his shopping.

* * *

Sometimes, Monique felt that all of twenty-eight hours a week of work at a high-end fashion store wasn't exactly worth the discount she would get in and about the mall.

These were one of those dreaded stockroom days for her. Not all days would be spent behind the counter, placing monies in the cash register. Days like this were nothing more than heavy lifting and a lot of nothing, followed by more heavy lifting. The sound of the clock striking 7 o'clock felt like music to the clerk's ears. Gathering her things, she made a beeline for the exit. She felt like she wanted to collapse the moment she stepped out of the store, but then again, over-dramatics and calling attention to oneself were mainly looked down upon in a mall.

She reached a particular comfortable bench to take a rest on. Well, benches went almost never comfortable, what with them being hard as rocks, stones, or the final boss in Vectorman. Hard or not, she had to sit down and rest her body for a few moments. Minutes passed by as she sat there, watching the crush of patrons enter and exit the mall. That is, until, she saw a face that stood out in the masses.

Say, what was Ron doing here? Well, that wasn't any of her business. What was strange was the bag he was carrying, though. It piqued her interest enough to take herself off of the not-exactly comfortable bench.

When did Ron figure out that he was at Club Banana and not at Smarty Mart?

He seemed to notice when his wallet turned up more barren and vacuous than the Serengeti. It was such a good thing that he saved as much money as he did. Because if he didn't his first date would be spent at...

"Since when did you Banana?"

The sidekick's eyes went wide as he saw the form of Kim's best girlfriend, Monique. After trying to keep a low profile at Club Banana... Sheesh.

"Oh.. Hey, Monique," he said, very much unsteadily.

"You didn't answer my question," she replied, now crossing her arms.

"Jeez, Mo... A brotha can't get his shine and freshness on?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Anyone else, yes." She answered. :"However, if someone used terrible lingo like that, such as you, no." Monique replied. "Spill," she commanded.

* * *

_Critical Error 3: The Third Degree _

_Symptoms: Sweaty palms, intense questioning, and the occasional glare._

_Treatment: Answer question without really answering the question... like politicians._

_

* * *

_

"Welllll," the sidekick stalled. This was going to take a little bit of wordplay. "I happen to have a gathering of sorts with a lady friend of mine."

Yep, double talk always worked when it came to Ron. He _so_ had the gift of gab.

"So, you've got a date, huh?"

Ron hung his head. "Yes," he uttered. So much for the gift of gab.

"Is that so?" Monique asked. She had to smile at her own handiwork. It looked as if Kim had taken her advice after all.

Indeed, Monique loved when a plan came together.

Ron nodded.

"Ron Stoppable going out on a date? You go boy!" The fashion store clerk congratulated, slapping the boy's shoulder hard enough to make him stumble... then fall to the floor.

"Thanks, I think," Ron replied, dusting off. "If you excuse me, Mo... I've gotta be getting..."

"Oh, no problem, Ron," Monique said, taking the hint. "I know you'll hit a home run tomorrow," she added with a friendly smile.

It seemed that everything was right with the world. Kim apparently took her sage advice, and now teen super heroine and goofy, but loyal sidekick were on the fast track to Loveland. She had to be prideful of her deed and her wicked matchmaking skills. Kim & Ron were definitely right for one another, and with a little bit of nudging in the right direction, it was going to happen.

Now.. if she could find **herself **a guy worth her time...

* * *

Feeling like she had resolved her sitch for the being, Kim finally raised herself from the swiveling chair next to her desk that she had used for contemplation purposes. Besides, all of this thinking was making her so very tired.

That, and she finished having dinner.

She climbed into bed and placed herself underneath the covers. Sure, it was around 9PM, but that matter much to her right now, as last night didn't bring much rest after all. Clutching her Pandaroo tightly, she slowly drifted off to...

...no, wait... she wasn't drifting off to sleep. There had to be some explanation for this. She was in her night clothes, her Pandaroo was by her side, and the lights were off. So, why wasn't she in her dream world?

_Penal Code 192-A Section 10 relieves the right to state the obvious._

The redhead sparked an idea, maybe some music would help her to elevate to the world drowse. Turning the clock radio on, she took a listen to what was blasting on the airwaves.

_"I'm going through a tunnel, stuck in a canyon  
in an elevator, do you even listen?  
No, no, no, no  
No, no, no, no  
Oh-oh  
Hello, hello, hello?  
Can you hear me now?  
Or am I losing you ( Hello )  
Got to reconnect somehow  
'Cause I can't hear you  
Hello, hello, hello..." _

_'No communication... That sounded really familiar,' Kim thought. Uh-Oh... In about a half-second, she changed the station. _

_"Yeah, I'm in this business with Terror  
Got a handful of stacks, better grab an umbrella  
I make it rain, I make it rain  
I'm in this..." _

_'Ugh... rap music.' Kim really didn't feel like being up all night listening to... that. She turned the dial once again. Hopefully, the next station was a bit softer than the last. _

_"I can love you, (I can love you), I can love you (I can love you)  
I can love you better than she can _

_Sitting here, wondering why you don't love me,  
the way that I love you and baby  
Have no fear, cause I would never ever hurt you,  
and you know my love is real and I can..." _

Absolutely. She could definitely relate to this... Hmph, who was Tara anyway? Ron had only known the blonde since freshman year. He'd known her since Pre-freaking-K! How could he possibly cancel on her for Tara? The nerve of...

Uh-Oh... the redhead switched the dial quickly. Apparently someone at KRMN had been trying to tell her something.

'Next station,' she thought fearfully.

_"...Because  
I can see us holding hands  
Walking on the beach, our toes in the sand  
I can see us on the countryside  
Sitting on the grass, laying side by side  
You could be my baby, let me make you my lady  
Girl, you amaze me  
Ain't gotta do nothing crazy  
See, all I want you to do is be..."_

'See, why we couldn't be like is beyond me…''

The redhead gasped. What was going on here? She had wholly convinced herself earlier that her mind was not on Ron... However... her thoughts, and apparently, the radio stations weren't letting her achieve that. She switched to the next station down the dial.

_"...Dream if you can a courtyard  
an ocean of violets in bloom  
Animals strike curious poses  
they feel the heat  
The heat between me and you _

_How can you just leave me standing  
Alone in a world that's so cold? (So cold)  
Maybe I'm just to demanding  
Maybe I'm just like my..." _

The teen super heroine threw her hands in the air, and probably threw the appliance hard enough against a wall to make it not work anymore. This was really something... even Unpronounceable Glyph was against her! Why would all these romantic songs play on the radio...at the same time? Either this was one hell of a coincidence, or she was going crazy. Was she going crazy?

**(Paaaaah-sibbly! Thank you, Cee-Lo Green) **

**

* * *

**

There was a disturbance in the force. Monique could almost feel it in her bones... well, maybe not her bones. And, perhaps she wasn't that in tune with the ways of the force. There was, however, a couple of nagging thoughts about her latest matchmaking success. It was enough to keep slumber from coming after a day work at Club Banana. The African-American girl took a look at the clock, which read 11:12. She really ought to be sleeping like a rock by now., but this little silly thought was tugging at her to no end.

It may have been a bit silly, but what if this lady friend that Ron had mentioned wasn't Kim?

Nah. It couldn't be. What other lady friend did Ron have? Believing it would be anyone else besides Kim would be fairly silly, the girl reassured herself.

There was just no way.

Was there?

* * *

The night had finally arrived.

Friday Night.

"What do you think, Rufus?" A sharp-as-a-tack, dress-to-the-nines Ron Stoppable asked his naked mole rat.

The pink rodent gave him a tiny thumbs-up. "Thanks bud," the blond said, petting his hairless friend on his forehead. "Now, the waiting game begins."

He stole a glance at his analog watch... it was about twenty minutes from showtime. There was no time to be nervous, because he was either going to be great, or he was totally going to make an idiot of himself. There was no grey area with him. And no matter which way it turned out...

-Ding, Dong-

Who could that possibly be? Tara wasn't due for another eighteen minutes and forty-seven seconds. (7:41:13 PM)

"Ronald, its Kimberly!" his mother called from the living room.

Kimberly? Who was Kimberly? Ron didn't know of anyone named Kimber--

Oops.

He paced downstairs and there she was.

"She says that it's important," Mrs. Stoppable said quietly, issuing her son a knowing grin before she left the room. No wonder Ron looked so handsome tonight..

Then again, it would have been a knowing grin if Ron actually knew, of course.

Kim couldn't believe her eyes. Ron looked so nice this night... he would look even better if he looked this good for her instead of;..

With the two active members of Team Possible alone, both found it surprisingly tough to say much of anything to each other.

"So..." Ron began, shuffling his foot timidly. "Didn't expect to see you here tonight... Not that I didn't..."

The all-too familiar hesitation was coming back, this time, however, Ron noticed it. "You said to my mom that you had something important going on. What's up?"

"I... uh," the redhead stammered. She wanted to tell him, but the words wouldn't come to her. It just wasn't working for her.

"I wanted to... say sorry for kinda storming out on you the other day..." It definitely wasn't the words that she wanted to say to him, but at least it was words, and in truth, she really wasn't sorry about how she handled that... news.

"Oh, it's cool, K.P.," Ron said jovially.

More length silence followed.

"Sooo... Tara's about due by now, hm?" Kim asked. It took her a Herculean effort for her to not spit out those words venomously.

"Oh... yeah, she should be about due in... twelve minutes and thirty-six seconds," Ron answered, as he checked his watch. (7:47:24)

"Hm, I'd better go then. I don't want Tara to get the wrong idea," she said evenly.

"Yeah... you..." Ron trailed off.

"Hey, like I said, good luck. Remember, show her the real Ron, and she'll be putty in your hands," she said to him, believing in every words she stated. With that, she turned away from him

She went for the door, but was stopped by the blond.

"Ron?"

"I wanted to say thanks, Kim..." he trailed off again. To the teen adventurer's surprise, she felt the boy's arms wrap around her in an embrace. Kim couldn't help but to return to favor. She honestly wanted to stay in this position for as long as she could.

"...thanks for being my best friend," he said, his voice a bit broken.

The embrace ended about three seconds after he said that. "Yeah, we'll always be friends," Kim added before going out the door.

* * *

_Mandatory Master Card Advertisement: _

_Black Lacoste Golf Shirt: $39.99 _

_Crocker's Casual Fitted Slacks: $33.99 _

_Belt, just in case your pants fall down: $9.99 _

_Your best friend, who just slipped a GPS Chip underneath the collar of your shirt to track your location without you even knowing it: _

_Priceless. _

* * *

Someone had to pay for this... and Kim Possible knew exactly who to blame for this whole darn thing.

_The blame is all on the girl who claimed to be the Matchmaking Specialist._

And she was _sooo_ going to pay her a visit.

* * *

End of Chapter 10

Questions? Advice? Comments? Much needed aspirin for Kim? Can Peyton Manning finally make it to the Super Bowl?

Well, I certainly hope so.

S-Chrome

**Mandatory Notes on Copyrighted Music  
**The song lyrics are from, respectively...

"Hello, Hello, Hello" from those delightful Oh Boyz  
"Make It Rain" from Fat Joe & Lil' Wayne  
"I Can Love You" from Mary J. Blige  
"My Love" from Mr. Justin Timberlake & that T.I. guy  
and of course, one of my favorites...

"When Doves Cry,": from my main man, Unpronounceable Glyph (Prince)


	12. Surveillance!

Tales of The Awkward: Chapter Eleven: Surveillance! (Part 1)

* * *

8:07:29

It's show-time. Now, which show?

In the world of dating, or at least a reasonable facsimile of it, first impressions usually meant the difference between "Let's go back to my place" and kissing a doorknob at the end of the night. As for Stoppable, Ron, he hoped that his first wasn't going to mow him down completely. Even if his first impression didn't lead him down the path of dating destruction, his second would definitely do a good job of it.

"S-sorry, Tara," he stammered whilst fiddling with the keys to his... worn-down motor scooter. Heck, worn down didn't do this beat-up machine jusitce. A more appropriate description would most likely be "Tore up, from the floor up."

"It usually starts after a few seconds," he added. "Come on, come on!" He pleaded to his beloved machine in a low whisper. "If you start, I'll give you a nice oil change. Just you and me... like the old days."

The bargain offer was obviously not being heard by the beat-up moped. The scooter gave him a couple of complementary sputters and a backfire before it conked out completely. The blond boy groaned in frustration. This was almost as bad as a start as that Devin Hester guy taking it to the house in the beginning of that meaningless exhibition game.

From a few steps away, Tara watched the ordeal between man and machine. Sure, the entire thing was making them late for their destination, but she didn't mind much. If it was up to her, however, she wouldn't mind watching and accompanying the freckle-faced boy the entire night.

It would usually take a lot to irritate one Ron Stoppable. Obviously, a three-year old moped refusing to start was just enough to set him off. With every failure to start, the more flustered and agitated Ron became.

_'You are a piece of junk!' _Ron thought as he continued to struggle. _'Of course on the first date of my teenage life my ride turns against me. I ought to turn you the steaming pile of scrap metal that you are, you useless, gas-guzzling hunk-a...' _

His violent, gory, and destructive thoughts about taking apart his hunk of junk machine were arrested in the tick of time by his date who faintly tapped his shoulder.

"Hey, Ron:" the blue-eyed girl said softly. "I wouldn't mind if we walked."

"Oh..." Ron muttered. "OK, then let's go..." he replied, his voice back to it's normal tone. Calmly, the cheerleader took hold of his hand and led him out of his driveway. It was weird, as Ron thought to himself. A crisis with transportation was for the most part avoided. The threat, however, still remained.

Tomorrow morning that blasted sputtering collection of junk that he called a scooter was going to be a pathetic pile of primitive nuts and bolts.

_And that wasn't a threat, it was a promise! _

In a small brush across the street from the departing twosome, Monique had sprang an ingenious idea how to avoid get caught up in situation like this; either become a Tarot Card Reader like Miss Cleo, or to completely stop giving out advice to total psychos.

Not that Kim was a psycho, of course.

"Here's the plan: We're going to stay exactly fifteen lengths behind them, from across the street at all times. If they should feel the slightest bit of our presence, we will take refuge behind or inside the nearest trash receptacle. Got it?"

O... K. Maybe she spoke a bit too soon about the psycho drama...

"I can't believe you're dragging me into this," she scolded her friend, in about ten levels of total disbelief.

"Well, if your advice actually worked, you wouldn't have been dragged," Kim Possible replied, her back turned from her all the while.

"I never asked you to take my advice!" Monique whispered back.

"If I knew you're advice was that **_bad_**, I wouldn't have it taken it in the first place," Kim shot back, her voice absent of a confrontational expression.

"Hey, my advice is sound," Monique countered. "It's the certain people who take my advice that I'm not exactly sure about."

At a moment's notice Monique got one of those evil, narrow-eyed death glares from Kim that she wasn't exactly used to. It made the clerk certainly think twice about speaking again during this excursion.

* * *

_Critical Error 117: The Evil Eye _

_Description: If one knows the phrase "If looks could kill," then one would be so dead right now. _

_Treatment: Acquiesce, dangit! Acquiesce!_

* * *

"They're on the move. Let's go," the redhead whispered.

Rolling her eyes toward the navy blue sky above her, Monique followed obidiently. The girl's mind must have seriously unsound to pull a stunt like this. And at this point, she really wasn't trying to make things worse. If nothing, Monique was getting a first-hand look at what hapens when a person who supposedly could do anything and get anything she wanted lost control of either of those titles.

At first blush, it was kind of interesting and entertaining. Until, of course, she too, was dragged into this disaster-to be.

The cashier almost had to hold back a chuckle as Kim walked stealthily ahead of her. If she was the girl that could anything, she was certainly having problems with keeping those human natures of becoming jealous and possessive under control.

Dr. Phil would so do a job on her.

The duo continued to stealthily stalk Ron & Tara throughout the residential confines of Middleton. The less willing of the duo, Monique, in case you weren't keeping score, inched up to her fearless leader, a burning question on her mind.

"Hey, Kim, what are we going to do if they're in a restaurant? Are we going to follow them there too?"

The driven heroine took on a thoughtful look as she tried to figure a way around this possible obstacle.

"We'll go to the farthest booth from them and report the findings as they approach," she answered.

For about the third time that night, the chocolate-skinned young woman rolled her eyes at her friend's bizarre reasoning. On the bright side of things, she was going to catch an early dinner tonight.

How long would it take for the world-renowned heroine Kim Possible to realize this entire Ron and Tara sitch was partly, or even, mostly her doing? Could it be outside the realm of possibility that she had come on way too strong in the basement days ago, despite the claim that she was taken and/or _possessed _by rouge and raging hormones at the time?

A more mature mind would have probably said "Yes" to all three questions. This particular mind **was** mature, but also happened to be more jealous than Dan Marino at a Super Bowl victory gathering.

"N-not jealous..." she whispered to herself through gnashed teeth. She attempted, tried, and urged to tell herself that for the past couple of days. This time, she had to take a look where she was and what she was doing; spying... no, keeping surveillance over Ron while he was out on his date... this was **so** not something that a carefree person or a well-wisher would do.

As if she was hit with a cast iron skillet of clarity, she came to a crippling concession. She stopped in her tracks at that very moment.

"I-I _am _jealous," she hissed.

"What was that?" Monique asked from a few steps behind her.

Crud! She's heard!

"E-Elvis... I said Elvis," the redhead brutally lied. "I-it was a shame how the pressure got to him and died the way he did."

She tsk-tsk'ed a couple of time before walking ahead of her assistant for the night while Monique shrugged her shoulders.

"It looked like he was just a fat no-talent to me."

The truth was always hard to swallow, it was kind of a powerful thing, and all that, but wasn't it adorable that the Kim Possible was jealous?

**(Well, it would be if the audience didn't know, like... seven chapters ago.)**

Seeing her best friend stop for a second time gave the raven-haired girl hope that she was finally coming to her senses. The truth was often tough to deal with. But truth or not, Kim Possible was _not_ going home tonight without getting a total earful from her.

"So..." Monique began, sidling to the stationary redhead, a voice full of accusation and sarcasm. "Have you finally realized that you're freaking and jealing? Or have you sunk so deep in jeal to the point where you can't move anymore?"

"No!" Kim exclaimed. "And for the last time, I am **not** jealous!"

**(But, didn't she just finish saying that she was... Sigh.)**

_Critical Error 7-P: Pride _

_Description: Say, isn't that the deadliest of the seven deadly sins? _

_Well... while we're here, we'll also throw in. _

_Critical Error 7-E: Envy _

_Symptoms: Well... uh... hey! You were there! _

As if her cause was given more of purpose to be carried out, Kim led the way once again. Sure, she admitted that she was jealous to herself... but she would be darned if she admitted this to Monique and as a result, listen to over thirty minutes of finger-pointing, outrageous Monique-speak and other such nonsense.

Pride, indeed.

* * *

Spicier's. The restaurant that wasn't exactly The Olive Garden and wasn't exactly a broken-down dive of a shack like Burger King. Which meant that it wasn't an expensive tack-fest, nor was it your run-of-the-mill burger joint. But, it was the perfect place for two young hearts just starting out.

And no, there wasn't a ball pit in there.

The blond duo sat comfortably at a booth at the edge of the restaurant. As they waited for someone to wait them, Ron took a look around him. The lights were fairly dim, there were plenty of adults about... must've been quite the swanky place, and then there was Tara... who was... staring... directly... at him, her hands clasped... her eyes more blue than the saline ocean... and her... eyelashes as batted as a Yankee hitting order against a Red Sox bullpen.

His breath became short quickly. W-why was Tara looking at him from across the table like that?

There goes that pesky_ Penal Code 192-A Section 10_ again.

He tried to avert her gaze, chiefly because he was turning more red than a Sox fan's nose at the Cask N'Flagon. This made Tara beam at him all the more. Avoiding eye contact. Not saying much of anything, and when he did, he would stutter and stumble over every other sentence. Why, he was totally shy and nervous... which was good to know because she was practically on pins and needles as well.

Speaking of pins and needles... guess who just arrived at the local neighborhood Spicier's?

"Are you sure you're picking up the check on this one? I just got paid today."

"Yes... now keep quiet!" The teen adventurer rasped. Kim really didn't feel like eating, as she was much too focused on the other side of the vast dining area. It was a bit tough to see with the dimmed lights, but she saw them over there. But, out of all the people in the world, why Tara? Was it because she was a blonde, like him? Or was that happy go lucky, and oh-so fake demeanor or hers? Either way, the whole deal was just outside her realm of her understanding. Anyone who would compare Tara and herself would totally know that she was prettier.

_Strike One. _

_She was definitely more intelligent. Besides, how smart could Tara be? She's a blonde! _

_Strike Two. _

_And to put a finer point on it, she was a better match for Ron than Tara could ever hope to be. _

_Strike Three. You're out. _

End of Part 1

That's right, folks... Now that Pitchers & Catchers have begun... ah, never mind.

In the spirit of Hallmark Holiday No. 22, I had to bring some sort of offering to the table. Therefore, there will be MORE spying... er, Surveillance in the near future. Stay Tuned... I think.

Love problems? Hate problems? Awkward problems? Review. S-Chrome can help you... well, except with the Awkward stuff... I fail at miserably at that...

S-C.


	13. More! Surveillance!

Tales of The Awkward: More! Surveillance!

* * *

'OK, Ron...you can lower the menu from your face. It's been three minutes. It doesn't take you that long to figure out what you want. T-Tara's probably not staring a hole through you while you're reading the menu by now.' 

With his eyes as shifty as a car salesman's, Ron Stoppable reluctantly lowered the menu down to the table slowly, only to see the blonde-haired girl staring... and winking right back at him. The sidekick had quickly become frazzled... well, more so than usual. He wasn't exactly sure... but Tara must have really liked him, and that was totally freaking him out.

He tried to take a look back at her when the waiter of all people showed up to bail the gawky teen out. Thank goodness for him... after all, no teenage boy on the face of Planet Earth would ever want to have an attractive girl stare at him.

"Welcome to Spicier's," the waiter muttered, his voice as a dull as a ride on the Cyclone. "May I take your order?"

After sneaking a quick glance at the menu, Tara spoke up first.

"I'd like the Chicken Alfredo, the Garden Salad with the Thousand Island dressing, and the unlimited shrimp bowl, a Coke, and the Chicken Fingers."

"Very good, ma'am," the waiter replied, "And the gentlemen?"

The blond went pale... then glanced at the menu... then, probably went even more pale. Tara had just said a mouthful… quite literally. "One moment, please," he said calmly as he checked his pockets. What he saw in his wallet was probably more painful than any punch to the gut. He was going to have so much fun being so completely broke and starving to death for the next week. He wondered if he could get an advance on his allowance.

"OK... I'll have whatever that's left on the other tables."

Tara giggled good-naturedly. "You're not serious, are you?" She reached in her purse and pulled out the all-powerful, all-mighty, all-encompassing plastic. "I've got this."

**(She was going to pick up the entire check? Ron had found himself a winner. Now, the only question remains was where they were going to register to be married.**

**Hey, look... the entire check? You don't dump someone with that kind of scratch!)**

"Uh... OK. But doesn't etiquette say...?"

"Yes it does... but you're so cute..." Tara answered, reaching over the table to take hold of his cheek.

"Yes... I am, aren't I?" He asked uneasily. The waiter shook his head. Before he turned to give the order to those poor souls in the kitchen, Ron tugged at his apron.

"Say... this whole, 'Guy not picking up the check' thing... this doesn't make me appear as less of a man, does it?" He whispered.

The waiter thought for a moment. "I'm going to be honest with you. You're a teenager, and you'll learn things when you get older. But, yes, it does make you less of a man. It makes you so much less, in fact, that I'm not sure who's wearing the dress at this table."

Ouch.

Well, it was nice to hear the painful truth every so often... right?

The waiter strolled on to the kitchen, leaving Ron and Tara alone once again. Fearing that his poor, budding manhood was beaten over the head with a larger-than-life brick, Ron went silent once again. How could all of his confidence be sucked out by a lowly bus boy?

One of life's great mysteries, no doubt.

"Soooo..." The blonde girl began, her eyes rolling toward him. "Ron, what do you usually do on Friday nights?"

"Oh... um, nothing much," he replied bashfully. "Well.. usually on Friday nights I'm in the crib... doing homework."

* * *

Critical Error 449: **BOLD-FACED **Lie 

_Uh-Huh... Like she, or anyone else on the face of the planet was going to believe that._

Treatment: Try again, George Washington.

* * *

The goofy sidekick decided to change his answer when his date gave him a sideways glance, as if to say. "Boy, stop lyiiiin..." 

He chuckled meekly. "Well, actually on Friday nights I hang with... uh..."

Ron wasn't exactly sure if it was safe to divulge this kind of information. Luckily, though...

"Kim, right?" A grinning Tara asked..

Oy Vey! Was it that obvious?

"Yeah..." he trailed. "But you know... w-we don't do too much of anything. Just hanging because, we're tight. You know?"

Why did it feel like Ron was on the witness stand of the O.J. trial with the right to plead the Fifth waived? His eyes darted from right to left, hoping that his explanation was to Tara's liking.

"Yeah, I know," Tara said, trying to calm him down. "So, what kind of stuff do you do?"

Another question?! Was this the Spanish Inquisition, or what? Furthermore, why was it so warm in this darn restaurant and, why the heck were his palms starting to sweat? Before he could gripe to himself even more...

"Oh, nothing much… we have pillow fights, we do each other's hair... engage in girl talk..."

Yes! She was laughing! His joke actually worked! He had to be the greatest of all time for breaking the ice like that. He felt like throwing shadow punches in a gymnasium, Cassius Clay-style.

Tempering her laugh into a girlish giggle, Tara spoke again.

"Ah, Ron... I was just teasing. I mean, it's not like Kim likes you... which, you know... she does, by the way."

Time stopped. Glasses shattered. Windows broke. People stopped talking. The blond boy's hair stood up on end and his face went as pale as bad milk. He must've had ear wax buildup of the highest magnitude because he could've sworn that Tara, his freaking date, had just told him that Kim liked him.

Believe it. Believe it like Obama & Clinton taking a hatchet to each other's presidential intentions... _already._

"Nooo way," Ron croaked in disbelief.

"No, it's true," she continued to tease. "You just haven't seen the way she looks at you... but I see it."

This was getting hard to deal with. Why was Tara doing this to him? Why did she have to be the one to throw Sunoco ULTRA 94 Octane gasoline on the fires that was himself and Kim? Didn't Tara like him? What was the deal with all this?

"You probably think that she wouldn't feel that way about you, but we know better now, don't we?"

Yes... Ron was hearing some particularly brutal news, but great Scott, he had to veer this conversation in a different direction. The more Kim was being brought up, the more he would end up thinking about her during the course of the night... not good. A diversion... he needed some sort of diversion.

"Well... I would think she would have to like me," Ron said. "We're inseparable. I mean, you can't be the best of friends without liking one another, right?"

"I think you know what I'm talking about, Ron," Tara replied, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Yeah, I might... but I'm a lot more interested in how you feel about me." He flashed her a flirty smile while taking her soft hand in the process. The cheerleader quickly flushed at his forwardness.

"Gosh, Ron... I..." Her radiating face was all that Ron needed to see. His grin grew wider at his smooth success.

_Oh, yeah... Smooth Ron was back in business, baby... _

_

* * *

_

"You know, Kim. It's bad enough that we're... 'keeping surveillance' over Ron," Monique began, using air quotes for keeping surveillance, when she, Kim, and twenty-thousand members of the Liberal media knew that it was spying... and stalking... and espionage, and whatever else you can call what she was doing.

"But, do you really have to use that thing while we're inside?" She asked, referring to the night-vision binoculars that Kim was using.

"Pipe down, Monique. I'm trying to read what they're saying."

"You can read lips?"

"Of course I can," the redhead whispered confidently. "I can do anything..."

_Except, of course..._

"Really? Then what are they saying right now?"

"Um..." Kim stalled momentarily. "Ok, Tara is talking about how easy she is, and Ron is talking about..."

"I'm sorry I asked," Monique said, rolling her eyes. She hoped for her sake that Tara & Ron weren't going to be around here very long, because this night had a potential to be a very frustrating and violent one. Speaking of violence...

"Why is he taking her hand?" Kim asked, her countenance darkening by the second.

"They **are **on a date, you know," Monique said sardonically, relaxing in her seat. Kim spun around to glare daggers of doom at her, but it didn't do much for the more unwilling of the duo. She had been threatened, made a scapegoat and the misguided target of the redhead's vitriol all evening, so why the heck should that stop now? She figured if she could make Kim as miserable as she was on this exigent evening, then some part of the mission was accomplished.

Then again, was Kim already miserable and just tugging her into this?

Yep, and 2 + 2 equaled 4 as well.

She wondered what could possibly make this evening worse.

Oh, look... Bonnie Rockwaller and Brick Flagg were here too. Fancy, that... the evening had just got worse. It would be in her best interest to give Kim the heads-up, wouldn't it?

"Uh, Kim?"

No answer. And just her luck, the brunette cheerleader was coming her way.

"Uh... Kiiiiim," she urged, tapping at the shoulder of the unaware girl. Worse yet, Kim was ignoring her. Well, there was one thing left to do to make her notice.

"Owww!" Kim winced. There were a lot of questions that the redhead wanted to have answered by the end of night, but the reason why Monique pinched her rear... well, in that case, she'd be much better off not knowing.

"What was that for?" She asked. The redhead's head was turned in the direction of the answer.

Red Alert! Red Alert! Quite literally, too. She quickly whirled back and got low in the pleather seats of their booth.

"What's _she _doing here?"

"I was going to ask you the same question," Monique remarked with a knowing smirk.

"Grr," a Herculean effort was made to restrain herself from strangling her sassy friend at that second. "She can't see us here."

"Correction: She can't see **you **here."

"You're right..." the redhead muttered.

Kim quickly scurried underneath the table in hopes that the passing Bonnie would breeze by without noticing her. The teen adventurer almost got her wish, unfortunately as the tanned girl was almost on her way, she looked to her left.

"Monique is having dinner alone? Big surprise there," Bonnie snidely remarked as she walked by.

"Schoolyard insults? The smell of cheap perfume? Nice to see you too, Bonnie," Monique replied evenly. Naturally, the potshot made the brunette turn around. Underneath the table, Kim shook her head in disbelief. Where was Monique's maturity?

Then again, where the heck was hers? Under a table, trying not be seen?

"Maybe I'll start acknowledging you as somebody once you figure out that boys aren't..." the brunette stopped. Something very interesting had caught her eye. "Speaking of boys..." she trailed off as she quickly made her way across the room.

"Where do you you're..." Monique paused. She _knew _where the troublesome girl was headed. "Uh-oh..."

"Uh-oh... what uh-oh?"

* * *

As the blonde-haired cheerleader watched her date hungrily scarf the contents of his plate, she couldn't help to be a bit astonished by the boy's transition. Because, like... wow... in about three seconds time, Ron had turned about as smooth as soft corinthian leather. 

Thanks, Ricardo.

Suddenly, Tara had really liked the goofy, trip-over-ever-other-sentence, flush-at-every-juncture Ron Stoppable that she saw earlier. Boys weren't supposed to gain confidence during dates! They were supposed to trip over their shoelaces and spill soft drinks on themselves. It looked like there were more layers to Ron than she had previously thought. Now, why she was getting jittery was anyone's guess.

"I-I'm going to the ladies' room," she said, quickly getting up.

"Hurry back," the mascot replied.

He waited for his date to disappear across the room then relaxed in his chair. Turning on the charm proved to not be a task that was easy. He wondered how the smooth and suave guys could do these things without completely burning themselves out. How did guys like Josh do it? How did guys like Vince do it? How did guys like George Clooney do it?

_Oh... right, Clooney does it by being a smarmy, sanctimonious, self-serving, son-of-a..._

"Hello there."

Deep in his ladies-man related musings, Ron didn't notice the voice who was acknowledging him. Well, not for another six seconds. He turned his head in just about the slowest of slow motion

His eyes went as wide as Curt Schilling's gut. "Whaa...? B-B?"

Now, what would make someone smooth as Ron react to Ms. Bonnie Rockwaller in the fashion that he did?

Wouldn't know... couldn't it be the girl herself. He had seen what she looked like for years, and she was very pretty, even if she was a prissy, stuck-up, self-centered...

Could it be that she still wasn't acknowledging as 'loser?' Couldn't have been that, she's warmed up to him for some reason.

Maybe it was that scant red dress she was wearing.

Bingo.

It was the same scant red dress that left very little a little too much to his imagination. The scant red dress that she was wearing that once again made him forget about the date he was on with that blonde-haired girl... what in the heck was her name again? It had to be Sarah, right?

Without the shadow of a doubt, it was that scant red dress that beautifully graced the brunette's bombshell body that made him want to hop on the table and howl like a wolf... and yell things that he really shouldn't... and bash his own head in with a mallet just to make sure that girl that stood before him wasn't a mirage.

* * *

**_Right to Censor's Three Cardinal Rules by Dr. Vainglorious _**

**_No foul language:_**_ "But, damn! Shorty was a total dime-piece, plus ninety-nine, yo!" _

**_No excessive violence:_**_ "Awww, ma... I'd bash my brains in for that!" _

**_No scantily clad women..._**_ well, that ship sailed... and aren't we glad it did?_

**_

* * *

_**

The brunette's red-painted lips curled upward. She knew that she looked smoking hot tonight, but the ex-loser's face was absolutely priceless... and, kind of cute, too. She continued to smirk as the boy continued to stare at her. He was just about hypnotized and she didn't have a problem with it. To a finer point, she had almost liked his stupified glances.

After twenty more seconds of comprehending that what he saw _wasn't _a mirage. Ron finally regained his senses.

"Hi... Bonnie," he struggled to gather a weak grin. "We've gotta stop meeting like this," he quipped.

"So you're not happy to see me?" The cheerleader pouted.

Why did girls have to make things so hard?

"What? No. No! Not what I meant..." Ron bumbled. "I... sm, uh, happy to see you... and, uh... y-you..." he stopped to look over the girl once again. "You look great"

"Really?" Her voice feigned surprise, not that Ron would know the difference in any case. "You think so?" She asked, striking an impromptu pose.

Ron nodded his head Scooby-Doo style. All he needed to say was "Reah, rou rook ran-tastic!" Which, thank goodness, he didn't.

"Why, Ron, you are just too sweet," the brunette cheerleader gushed, patting the boy's nicely done hair.

**(Too sweet? Where is the nWo when you need 'em?)**

"Monique? What's going on over there? Where's Bonnie?"

Call it a sixth sense, but Monique knew where Bonnie was, and what she was trying to do. Why she was trying to do what she was doing was not a question for her. She ruminated and hesitated on whether or not to tell Kim, for the sake of rising blood pressure numbers for both of them. The girl figured that it would be better to tell her red-haired friend rather than her to see it herself... that is, until she saw the brunette getting a little... cozy with Ron.

"Uh-Oh..." She said again.

"Uh-oh, what? Where is she? That's it, I'm going over there... oomph!"

Kim was quickly shut down with a kick to her side. Monique was usually never one to administer violence to another person, but this was necessary in not breaking her best friend's cover.

Great... now she was getting wrapped up in this too.

_Yep, that's the only reason why she would kick someone who dragged her into this exercise-in-jealousy and stalk ability._

Stalk ability?

The red-haired girl slowly slithered back into her seat. If looks could kill... there would probably be a headstone where the black-haired girl's body used to be.

"What... was that... for?" Kim asked.

Reluctantly, Monique handed the binoculars back to the redhead. The gasp that the Club Banana employee heard was probably not going to be the extent of her friend's outrage. The redness that was radiating the green-eyed girl's face told a fairly good story, however.

"Bonnie..." her left eye twitched. The twitch being voluntary or involuntary was anyone's guess. "...and Ron?!"

There were just another one of those moments where Monique just wanted (or maybe needed) a place to hide. Being underneath a table wasn't actually a bad idea right now.

"Now, easy Kim, calm down,"

Calm? Calm was beyond Kim at this point. Calm was that idyllic point in time when they were happily stalking Ron and Tara. Now that Bonnie crept her way into the picture, this whole thing had turned into a completely different animal...

...and so was Kim at this point.

* * *

"So... Tara, huh? Looks like someone's moving his way up," Bonnie said playfully. 

"Moving my way up? I don't get it," the freckle-faced boy said, shrugging his shoulders. The tanned cheerleader giggled at his naivete.

"So you mean you went out with Tara tonight because you like her?"

"Uh... Yeah. Why else would I?"

Ron was seriously confused by the questioning of Bonnie. Then again, he was also transfixed by both the neckline and hemline of the girl's dress. The blond hoped that she didn't catch him looking... too much.

"I mean, you go out with Brick because you like him, right?" Ron asked.

"Hmph, that's none of your business," Bonnie snapped.

"Oh..."

Hey, wait a minute...

"Wait, you asked why I went out with Tara. I gave you an answer... so, how come you say it's none of my business when I ask you the same question?"

"A lady isn't supposed to reveal her affairs," she said, turning her nose up at him.

That's right... a lady isn't supposed to reveal her affairs. They didn't say anything about prissy, stuck-up, self-centered, gold-digging, snooty, conniving _ho-bags, though._

Why the heck was Bonnie doing this to him? She would be sugary-sweet to him in one moment, and then prickly-sour to him in the next. He sighed in frustration. As if Kim's actions in the last week didn't confuse him to no end, here comes Bonnie.

Where the heck was Sarah? No wait... Tara! That's what her name was.

"Ron? Bonnie?"

When one was on a date with a female, it was not customary to be sitting next to another girl that you happen to be on a date with. It would've paid for Ron to have knowledge of this... however, there was Tara standing there, confused as a...

**(OK, no more dumb blonde jokes.)**

"Ah... Hey there, Tara," Ron squeaked. "We were just... uh, talking about the upcoming school year..."

**Critical Error 449... Stop Lying, Ron.**

"Actually, Tara, we were talking about you," Bonnie said, thumbing over to the boy. "He was just talking about how a loser like him could manage to get a date with you."

"Hey!" Ron exclaimed at being dissed. Bonnie narrowed her eyes at him. "Yeah... ain't I lucky?" He added with his trademark "Goofiest of Goofy™" grins.

Tara grinned right back. "Is that so?"

The blond boy quickly nodded affirmatively. He couldn't believe it. Did Bonnie just bail him out? And if so, why was she bailing him out?

"Why, that's just so sweet," the blonde cheerleqader beamed.  
.  
"Yeah, Yeah, Tar... real sweet," Bonnie replied, clearly not impressed. "Well, I have to get back to my Bricky-poo. He probably thinks that I disappeared."

Both Tara and Bonnie chuckled, which left Ron to believe that it was some sort of inside joke between the two cheerleaders.

"But, seriously, though... good night, Tara," the brunette said to her blonde colleague. "And... good luck, Ron."

He thought that this three-way awkward get-together was finally over and done with. He did, until, he felt a pair of lips smack against his cheek. And... Great Grains! Tara was on the other side of the table! The horror that gripped his freckled face would tell you that he had just been kissed by some sort of psychotic, evil demon-child.

But, nah... it was just Bonnie.

Ron gripped his cheek, as if he was just shot there... and maybe he was. "W-Why'd she do that?" He queried to anyone who could give him an answer. Heck, Bonnie could have given him an answer if she didn't disappear from the restaurant.

While she was seriously put off by the brunette's brazenness, Tara was very much amused by the horror on his face. He must not have liked it as much as she didn't like seeing it.

"Ronnn," she laughed. "She was just trying to be nice... I think."

Trying to be nice? **Trying to be nice?! **_That was like saying the Yankees were only trying to be nice when they gave one game to the Mets in the Subway Series._ Ron would have been good with a friendly handshake. Of course, on another side of the restaurant, one person would have been happy if nothing at all happened.

"I'll kill her... I will kill her," Kim growled, her nails digging into the poor and defenseless table.

"Come on, Kim," Monique pleaded, holding her in place. "Homicide isn't going to solve anything."

Well, homicide wasn't going to solve anything, unless her name was Orenthal.

* * *

End of Part Two. 


	14. Surveillance! The Final Insult!

Tales of The Awkward: Surveillance! The Final Insult

* * *

10:32:52 PM 

Ah, the movies! What was it about the local movie theatre that made teenagers and young adults alike want to totally lose what little self-control that they had? Why lose all hormone control in a dark, dank, sticky and grungy multiplex? The answer is not certain, but it probably had something to do with the venue being dark, dank, sticky, and grungy, though. Either way, there were Ron and Tara, comfortably watching their movie, which was about twenty minutes in. They weren't doing anything that would be classified as lewd, thank goodness. That wouldn't have been good for anyone, especially for that _other_ duo who was seated in the balcony.

"Are you sure they're in here?" Kim asked Monique, who shook her head.

"Yes, for the seventh time," Monique admonished. "And yes, I'm sure! This is a romantic comedy flick. All the other movies in the cinema are either kiddie movies or R-rated. If I'm not right about this…"

"You never know with Ron," the redhead replied, crossing her arms. "He could be… oh, wait… there he is."

"Is that a fact?" Monique asked snidely. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure," Kim answered.

"Good, then I believe you've got something to say to me."

The teen heroine looked a bit sheepish. "Yeah, Mo… good eye."

Good… eye?

The girl went right back to spying on the couple with her extra special dark-vision goggles.

'OK,' Monique thought, resentment creeping in. 'I'm just going to count to ten… and then, POW!'

"Hmm… who does Tara think she is, doing her hair like that?" Kim asked, not even stopping to look at her.

One,

Two,

Three…

* * *

Romantic Comedy? Dramatic Romance? Psssh, it was all the same to Ron Stoppable. Weren't like, the terms Romantic Comedy, Thriller Romance, Tragic Humor all a freaking oxymoron? He simply didn't get the intricacies that were romantic comedy flicks. They all followed the same storylines as far as he was concerned; 

Boy finds himself attracted to girl. Boy is usually not good enough for the girl. Boy goes through strenuous measures to get himself in good with girl. Usually there's a more handsome, richer, or somehow better boy that's going against Boy. Boy goes through thorough period of total embarrassment, and finally, through self-improvement, lessons learned, and montages like you wouldn't believe, Boy, at long last, wins the heart of the girl, and everybody's happy.

And then, of course, Hillary Duff sings while they roll the credits.

He shuddered violently at the thought.

Ron wouldn't wish a romantic comedy scenario on his worst enemy. Well, maybe Monkey Fist. He made a face of disgust as he watched the next scene play out. All these kinds of flicks were pretentious, hokey, foolish, and... who in the blue heck would like this kind of drivel?

"Ooh... that is sooo romantic, isn't it, Ron?" His date, Tara cooed.

Now Ron would have known what was so romantic had be been paying attention. But, hold the phone... was he paying attention or wasn't he?

The Over-Under probability on him paying attention was 12:1. Feeling lucky?

But, really, though... what self-respecting teenage boy or young man would subject himself to this kind of...

"Hmmm," Tara swooned as she leaned onto his shoulder, staring intently at the projection above them.

…punishment?

OK... now that Ron was this close to his date, he knew that whatever perfume she had on smelled better than the combination of bubble gum and peppermint... and her hair was about six times as more intoxicating. The closeness made him actually want to see what was so romantic about this mindless nonsense.

After further review, if a girl was going to snuggle up to him _that _close, and smell _that _good, then Ron Stoppable could certainly accept and learn to love this romantic comedy junk, just like any man on the face of the planet... theoretically.

**(Now if it was one of those Bollywood movies, he would be better off injecting lethal toxins into his body while jumping off a ledge while watching the New York Knicks try to make the playoffs.)**

As he watched more and more of the movie, he began to take in more of the plot. The leading man's object of affection was a friend of his way back when they were young. They grew older with their feelings growing stronger for one another by the passing year. The childhood friends never bothered to tell one another due to fear and thinking that it was just a passing phase. The years went by and gradually, they drifted further apart throughout high school until they totally broke off their friendship when the girl found herself a boyfriend.

He shook his head... Kim and he would never end up like that in the case of drifting apart. As for developing feelings... that was totally out of the question. Kim was his best friend, his closest friend, and... Why not Kim and him?

Eh? Where did that come from?!

_The first time he had noticed her **that way** in the winter. What had happened before Spring Break at Flagg's place? The Fourth of July, where Kim came back from her date with that Vince to see him, the way she got overemotional and never left his side when he was moderately injured a couple weeks back at the hands of Shego. That training incident days back... _

Maybe **that's** where it came from.

* * *

"This movie is totally unrealistic... how could he go from Oregon to Michigan in just six hours without riding a plane?" Kim asked. 

Monique rolled her eyes. If she was going to be saddled with her far-gone friend, couldn't she just enjoy the darn movie without all the disturbances?

"It shows the symbolism on what this Aaron guy would go through to get to Carmella. Now be quiet!" She commanded.

"I still think it's unrealistic," the redhead chided petulantly. "Why'd we even come to see this movie?"

Why? _Why?! **Why?!?**  
_  
_Four,_

_Five,_

_Six..._

"Because you felt that it was necessary to spy on Ron & Tara the entire night and drag me along, that's why!" Monique whispered accusingly.

"Oh, yeah... that's right." Kim said. "And here I was wasting time watching this stupid movie." Once again, she grabbed the binoculars and searched the dark theatre to spot where the couple was sitting... and there, she spotted them almost down below them. What she saw disturbed her... not that it wasn't a natural occurrence this night.

"She's going to... she's going to..."

"She's going to what?" Monique asked.

Kim couldn't finish. "She's going to..."

* * *

He was having a good time. She was having a good time. He was into her. She was into him. He was close to her. She was close to him. 

'Oh, what the heck… you only live once.'

She leaned toward the unsuspecting boy. To get his attention, she tapped his knee. With lips puckered... she was mere inches away from him.

(Meanwhile, ten seconds earlier...)

You know, this romantic comedy nonsense was exactly nonsense after all. It actually turned out to be quite enjoyable in Ron's book. He wanted to see if Tara was enjoying it as much as he was. He turned in her direction to find that she was like... eight-and-half inches away from him, and getting closer. What was the meaning of all this. He was quickly getting nervous... what was Tara doing?

She had wanted to do this for so long. Ron had turned to face her, a bewildered expression on his face. She was millimeters away, her lips puckered, when...

"I-I'm going to get some more popcorn," he stammered. Quickly, he made his way to the isle and just about ran to the exit.

The blonde cheerleader certainly wasn't happy with the boy running off like that, especially when she was just about to plant one on those quivering lips of his. Tara scratched her head in confusion. Did she scare Ron? Or was he really just getting some popcorn?

One person, at the very least, was happy with Tara's... failed conquest.

Kim sighed in relief. "That was close."

"So you're happy that Tara didn't kiss Ron, huh?" Monique asked.

Happy? No. Ecstatic? Perhaps.

"What? No!" Kim replied defensively. "I'm just... glad that this Aaron guy made it to Carmella on time."

Didn't she just finish saying how pretentious and corny this movie was? From Monique's vantage point, Kim had to be due for an intense round of therapy.

* * *

Was she searching his face for fear? Was she checking him for monster zits? What was Tara doing? And why was she so close to... 

...then it hit him.

**(Why the heck wouldn't it have hit him when it happened? That's the question, ladies and gentlemen.)**

Tara had tried to kiss him, and he went for... popcorn.

FREAKING POPCORN KERNELS?!

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

He really wanted to rewind back in time and right his obvious wrong, but there was no way that was going to happen. Thus, the mascot did the only logical thing he could do; Go to the bathroom and bang his head against the nearest urinal until he passed out.

Then again, maybe it was for the best. He did promise to spill to Kim what the results were of this get-together. Ron didn't figure what his best friend's reaction would be if he told her that he was making out in a dark, dank, sticky, and grungy multiplex.

But if the sitch presented itself again, he would take it. He would take it like Ryan Hollweg took that high-stick about the neck.

_It was Hockey, what do you expect?_

* * *

Now that a crisis was averted for the time being, did Kim have anything else to gripe about on this night of disturbances? 

Well, she was grumbling when she saw Ron take his place next to Tara. Thus, the law of averages would tell an observer that there's still something wrong. Even though there was no kissing, or holding hands or even heavy petting between the two.

As if her night was ruined by Kim any further, Monique got wind of the heroine's discomfort with whatever the heck she was disconcerted with.

"What now?" She asked.

"It just came to me... Friday nights have our night for years, and not once, not once, has Ron ever taken me to see a romantic comedy..."

"Kim," Monique began, as patiently as she could. "Did you just NOT say that you didn't like these kinds of movies, or were my ears deceiving me again?"

"You don't understand, Mo,"

"Oh, I understand," Monique challenged. "You thought Ron was going to be your faithful steed until the bitter end. Now you think that you like him, you can't stand the fact that you may have missed your opportunity."

Kim tried to intercede, but Monique continued.

"Worst of all, you drag me into this when I was just trying to give you sound advice."

"If your advice was so sound, then how come we're sitting here, huh?"

"I don't know!" Monique exclaimed, raising her voice. "You tell me!"

The audience watching the feature below commanded them to quiet down. Kim & Monique lowered their voices accordingly.

Kim knew that Monique had her dead to rights. That foolish pride in her told her that she would be tarred and feathered before she admitted that.

"You wouldn't understand telling your best friend that..."

"I didn't tell you to go to his doorstep and spill your guts, Kim. I told you to start small."

"Well, doing things small is not my style,"

"Then I guess jealousy and spying on people is then, huh?"

"Who says I'm jealous? I'm not jealous!"

_Seven,_

_Eight,_

_Nine,_

_Ten, _

_Ignition. _

Monique had enough. She didn't care who in the theatre was going to tell her to shut up. The cashier had a finely-tuned detector of when people were giving her the okey-doke. She had let Kim slide with it for three-and-a-half consecutive hours, and now she had about all she could take. And, by golly, she couldn't take no more!

"Yes, you are! You're jealous of the fact that maybe someone else likes Ron other than you. You're _envious _of Tara because she has his undivided attention for one single freaking night! And, just to reiterate, **YOU... ARE... JEALOUS!** _Deal with it or get over it!"_

The crowd cheered and applauded down below. Some kind of coincidence, wasn't it?

Down below, on the mezzanine level...

"Who is that up there? They sound familiar," Ron said, looking above to no avail.

"Oh, it's probably nothing," Tara replied, her eyes glued to the projector ahead of them.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

Meanwhile, up above the Middleton Blondes:

"Wait, where do you think you're going?" Kim asked testily

"I'm out of here. For one thing, there's no reasoning with you, and number two, I am not going to be your accomplice. So, I'm gone," Monique answered calmly.

Just like that, Monique packed up and left the auditorium. If Kim & Ron weren't meant to be, then maybe it was for the best. She had seen a completely different side of Kim this night, and to put it mildly, she didn't like it. Whatever they were going to do in the future was up to them with no outside interference... and especially not from her.

"Hey, you can't leave. Get back here!" Kim yelled after her. Seeing that Mo wasn't about to change her mind, Kim maintained herself.

"Fine! I don't need you anyway!" She said, turning around toward the movie. Moments later, a figure tapped at her shoulder.

"Hm, I knew you'd come to your senses..."

She turned around to see not Monique, but a man in a red jacket and grey slacks. An_ Usher! _

"There have been complaints about noise coming up here in the balcony," the usher said evenly. "I'm going to ask you to leave."

"What? No way am I going!" Kim exclaimed. "I paid for."

"But you cannot disturb the rest of the audience when..."

"I can do what I want, I'm..."

"Uh, I'm going to need some assistance," the usher said, speaking into a walkie talkie on his inside breast pocket. In about thirty seconds or so, three or four ushers, in those sharp red jackets and grey slacks came strolling down the isle.

"She's being belligerent. Get her out of here," the first usher commanded. And with that, Kim Possible was forcibly removed from the Middleton Multiplex. However, if she was going to go down, some folks were going down with her.

"Grrr..." She grunted, trying to break free of the ushers grasp. "You can't do this! Do you know who I am!?"

When people asked that, it usually meant that the people didn't. Just saying...

"Aghh! This movie stunk anyway! Everybody knows Aaron and Carmella get together at the end!"

And with the forceful removal of Kim Possible, about eighty moviegoers removed themselves willingly, the movie clearly spoiled for them.

Ah, don't you just love romantic comedy? No matter how predictable it was?

* * *

Kim Possible wasn't going to let a thing like being banned for ninety days from Middleton Multiplex from keeping an eye from Ron & Tara. And, speaking of which, the _bimbo _and Mr. Clueless were there a short distance away across the street. 

"Well, I guess this is it," Tara said, her voice suggesting disappointment.

"Oh... I'll walk you home. Is that OK?" Ron offered.

"I-I'd like that." Tara replied coyly.

With that, they were off, and so was Kim.

Using a shortcut which meant going through Middleton Park, Tara & Ron quietly walked through. It was late in the evening, and the park was closed for the most part… how was Kim going to follow behind the duo without being seen?

"Good thing I keep this on me," Kim said to herself, reaching for her patented grappling hook gun. She aimed for a branch on a tree up above. Feeling that the hook's grip on the branch was stable enough, she made her way up to the tree branch. She stealthily kept herself from being seen while going from branch to branch in the park.

At last, a girl who went through trees like Tarzan, and looked like Jane.

Below on the surface, Tara was thinking... which happened only once in a good while. The blonde girl just couldn't let this date end without the happy ending. Well, it would be a happy ending for her if she got a chance to _happily_ snog her date.

"Hey, Ron?"

"Yeah?"

"It's really sweet of you to walk me home like this. But... my dad is probably going to be waiting outside for me... possibly with a shotgun."

Both blondes laughed uneasily.

Ron stopped abruptly. "Wait a sec, is that a threat?"

Tara chuckled. She then looked deeply in his eyes and shook her head. "Seriously speaking, Ron. I wanted to you to know that I had a great time tonight."

"I-I had a great time, too," an increasingly nervous Ron added.

Perched on another branch some twenty feet away, Kim was beginning to panic. She knew why Tara had Ron here. But as long as she was here, keeping 'surveillance', she wasn't going to let that blonde-haired boob take what she didn't get a chance to have. The redhead grabbed a pine cone from a tree, aiming it at her cheerleader counterpart.

Ron had known what to do. Tara was definitely waiting for him to make his move. He wanted to kiss her, but there was a resistance keeping him from doing it.

_The Resistance! _

_"Come on, kid. Kiss her, Ron! She's totally into you," his impulsive half, a tall, hulking figure commanded. _

"Don't kiss her, Ron! What about Kim?" His patient side, a small, pale-skinned young man asked.

"What **about **Kim? She's your friend, and she's not here. Come on, man… Tara is totally primed."

Ron took a deep breath before he drew closer to the blonde girl

_"Ron, what about the sparks between you and her? You can't ignore that." _

"Sparks is just sparks, Ron. You can ignore it! Do it!"

"Don't… you'll regret it."

"You won't!"

"You'll end up in a romantic comedy situation if you don't!"

"Whoa, time-out! I will?" Ron asked.

His second side of him nodded solemnly.

Whoa… He couldn't do that! But the young man was too late. His mouth and her mouth were like two decimeters away from each other. He knew he was going to regret this, but while he was regretting it, he may as well enjoy it for what it was worth. However, something stopped him

"Ow!" Ron recoiled in pain. He was hit with something on the right side of his face. The blond searched for the object he was hit with.

A pine cone? It was more than enough to break his concentration on Tara. Maybe it was a sign.

**(Or maybe it wasn't.)**

"Yes!" Kim rasped, pumping a fist into the clear late evening air. Ron wasn't her intended target, but it did stop him. That was a close one.

But, you know what? Another close one was the fact that the branch underneath her was slowly giving way. And, then...

Snap!

The redhead's green eyes, of jealousy and of actual color, went wide. She could do anything, everyone were all sure. But scrambling out of a tree branch that gave way... Nah.

The girl went plummeting toward the grassy surface, with the thorny bushes above the grass there to break her fall. She let out a yelp before crashing and burning. How was that for karma?

"What was that?" Tara asked, her arm quickly clinging to Ron's. The boy must have been feeling a little too courageous, because usually at this time of night and if there was a rustling in the bushes in a park, he would've taken off like Francisco Liriano.

Well, before he blew out his arm, of course.

"Uh... I'll go find out." Ron answered. He slowly crept to the spot, Tara following closely behind him. It could've been anyone in those bushes. Perhaps a dangerous mugger, or a poor defenseless soul.

Or Kim Possible.

The freckle-faced boy did a double take that would make Johnny Carson envious.

The redhead smiled sheepishly. "Hey, Ron."

"KP? W-wha... what are you doing here?"

"Uh... I was just in the neighborhood, keeping the peace... I mean, _it's not like I was spying on you two_."

* * *

_Critical Error 110EX-A: Severe slip of the tongue. _

It happens to both sexes... same rules apply.

* * *

Ron chuckled nervously. Very nervously. He then looked at how much his best friend was fidgeting to the maximum. 

Uh-Oh. Say it ain't so, K.P.!

"No, wait a minute..." Tara said, stepping in front of Ron. "The voices at the movies, the feeling that I was being watched earlier, and..." she narrowed her eyes at the redhead. "Where were you when we were eating, huh, Kim?"

Hanging her head, Kim replied. "The other side of the restaurant."

"I can't believe you, Kim. Why would you spy on us?" Tara asked angrily.

"You don't understand... t-t-this was Monique's idea."

**Critical Error 449... Again.**

All throughout this exchange Ron had fell silent. This was not good. He honestly didn't know what to think about this revelation.

"Ron, tell her!" Kim commanded. "I wouldn't do anything like that."

He knew when Kim was lying because she had always told the truth to him, no matter how hard the truth was. He couldn't defend her on this one.

"I-I... I have to go," he said, pulling Tara along with him.

"No, wait... Ron, come back! I can explain!" She pleaded. The heroine found it extremely painful to stand on her own two feet and even more to chase after the couple. Momentarily, Ron turned around to face her.

"I spied on you because... because..."

She was quickly freezing up, much like Minnesota in the winter.

"B-because..." She had to tell him now, or risk losing him. What was keeping her from telling him the truth?

"Because... I can't..."

Ron really wanted to wait for the answer, but the blonde girl pulled him away.

"Come on, Ron," Tara said. Reluctantly, he went along with her. Before she left though, the blonde cheerleader turned around and shook her head at the pathetic-looking auburn-haired girl.

The world that Kim had known had been absolutely shaken. For one thing, she had been found out, and worst of all, she couldn't explain to Ron what she was feeling. Why did she freeze the way she did? Ron meant a lot to her, and she just couldn't say the few words that could've saved the entire night. And the only answer she had for that?

She just... couldn't.

* * *

End of Chapter 11 

Ah! The Drama! The beautiful, carnivorous drama!

Questions? Comments? Feel like giving a radiator for the frozen Kim? Can the Knicks actually make the playoffs without embarrassing themselves in the process? Shocked that S-Chrome actually scraped together two updates within the span of a week?

Review!


	15. High Resolution

Tales of The Awkward: Chapter 12 (Re-Solution)

* * *

Ron Stoppable didn't know what to think. 

To say that he was a mess wasn't quite covering the bet. In truth, he was more in disarray than the post-Showtime Los Angeles Lakers.

_Sedale Threatt?_

He attempted to keep his misgivings hidden behind an emotionless expression as he walked Tara home. Neither one had much to say to one another since they had departed the park. Perhaps it may have been a mutual understanding between the two of what just transpired about ten minutes ago.

It was difficult to tell what his reaction was, because he didn't show much. Was he supposed to angry? How was he supposed to feel? Was he in the right to just leave Kim out there without saying much of anything? Why didn't she tell him the truth? Better yet, what _was _the truth?

Was the truth so damaging that she couldn't tell him?

If not for Tara hastily taking him away, he would've likely stood there all night, waiting for an answer.

They continued to silently walk until they came upon a three-story house near the corner of Commonwealth Avenue.

"This is my house," Tara pointed out. Ron nodded somberly. He turned away from her to get himself to his destination when he was tugged by his shoulder.

"Ron, wait!"

"Uh… Yes?"

"Um... I'm sorry about what had happened back there at the park, and I hope it didn't..."

Ron really didn't want to hear from her about what had happened at the park minutes ago. He looked into her eyes as she half-spoke and half-rambled on. _There was something about her eyes in the moonlight._ He didn't want to think about what happened at the park with Kim. Thus, he decided to concentrate on something else, namely the girl in front of him.

After about thirty seconds of Tara explaining why what had happened in the park shouldn't ruin the good time they had together, she stopped her rambling. Ron was simply staring at the blonde cheerleader. It didn't scare her, but then again, she wasn't totally exhilarated either. Her heartbeat began to shoot up in anticipation. _What was he going to do?_

Her answer came in the form of a pair of lips taking her own. Her sky blue eyes widened. It must've taken her ten seconds for her to realize that it was Ron's lips.

'Oh... He's...:'

_Finally! _Tara had waited all evening for this to happen and now it was finally, and at long last, it was happening. Even better was the fact that it was better than what she had imagined it would be. She wanted to absolutely do cartwheels and somersaults right now... well, if Ron wasn't kissing her anyway.

Smitten, wasn't she?

Ron really didn't know what he was getting himself into. Heck, he didn't know when he decided to lip-lock with his date. All he wanted was to get his mind off Kim. So, of course, in typical guy fashion, the first (or second) idea that came to him was to kiss Tara goodnight, and NOT because he had a good time up until the fiasco at the park or even because Tara had clearly liked him.

He attempted to pull away when he felt a pair of slithering arms encircling his neck, pulling him back in.

You see, when you're confused about how you feel about another person who could possibly be your love interest, this is where you would break the lip-lock. It happens in most romantic comedy movies, no fooling! But in the mascot's case, he pulled away because he was afraid of what this may escalate into.

His eyes widened considerably at the girl in front him. She had almost looked like she was in a trance as she blankly stared back at him. His conclusion was that he was either the greatest kisser on the known planet, or he made a mistake more grave and inauspicious than when the Minnesota Twins let go of that overweight, oft-injured designated hitter-slash-first baseman from the Dominican Republic in 2002.

"I-I," he struggled to find the words. Maybe he was entranced as well because it had been his first kiss. He began to go red in the face, his level of panic rising as the girl continued to stare back at him.

It appeared to be the latter in his mind.

"I-I've got to go," he said in a hushed tone before almost running off down the street, leaving a confused Tara in front of her house.

He thought kissing Tara would be part of the solution, but it wasn't. In fact, it opened up a brand new can of worms for him. Tcha, he didn't even know what the solution was. All he knew was that while he was kissing the blonde girl goodnight, his mind was only on one thing, and it wasn't her.

* * *

The blonde cheerleader stood there near the walkway to her home, perplexed and delighted at the same time. Still, Tara managed to gain her bearings and stumble her way to the unlocked door and enter her house. Since she was the last one inside, she promptly locked the door. Locked, however, were not the thoughts she had about Ron; He was so mysterious during those last twenty minutes. She thought that Ron would a little unnerved, or even angry by catching Kim spying on them, but that didn't seem to be the case. Tara knew how close they were as friends, and to a degree, she knew how Kim felt about him. Then... maybe... it didn't matter how Kim felt. 

Revelation!

Her eyes grew wide at the thought. Ron must not have cared about how his best friend felt about him because of her! Ron Stoppable was, in effect, choosing her! She began to put it together. What he said in the restaurant... the kiss just a few minutes ago.

_Anyone know what time it is?_

_Swoooooooon Time! _

The girl nearly collapsed on the staircase at the memory of Ron kissing her moments ago. "Mmmm," she cooed as her body gradually went as warm one of those fine furnaces. Oh, yeah... things were going to heat up between her and Ron in the future, just like it heats up in the Northeast during the summer months.

**(Warning, Tara; it's not the heat, it's the humidity.) **

* * *

Kim Possible didn't know what was more painful: the aches and pains from falling nearly two stories out of a tree onto a patch of thorny bushes, or the ache of her best friend walking away from her without saying a word to her. 

To make matters worse, it was well past the hour of eleven, which was her curfew, and she was limping through the neighborhood. Everything that happened this night felt like a bad dream. Now that she had truly seen the error of her ways and the consequences that followed, she wondered what she was thinking by spying -- not 'keeping surveillance' on her best friend. Monique warned her even before she disembarked on this suicide mission of sorts. Speaking of her, in addition to Ron, she may have a lost another close friend earlier as well.

After several minutes of painful gaiting through the quiet neighborhood, she got to within meters of her home… How hard could it have been to just say what she felt?

_"Because... I think there may be something between us... and I don't mean open space, Ron!"_

_"Because I feel that you've grown on me, Ron. You've grown on me like losing the big game grows on the Philadelphia Eagles."_

_"You've got to believe me, Ron! The Devil made me do it! Stop me before I kill again!"_

Any one of those explanations... well, maybe not the last, could have been acceptable rather than saying nothing and standing there as frozen as an ice rink. She had to let out a grievous chuckle at another thought; she remembered a few nights ago, when Ron told her that he had a date. He didn't want to tell her, and she insisted, because they were the best of friends and they could tell each other anything, no matter what the consequence was.

Not only did she break into Ron's privacy, but she broke her own word.

The redhead opened the front door and stepped inside the Possible home. She wanted to make herself as inconspicuous as possible. Well, what she wanted to do preferably was wake up from this nightmare and since it wasn't a nightmare and was reality; she would be fine if this nightmarish evening ended. Kim walked upstairs, wincing in pain with every other step on the staircase.

The extent of her injuries weren't known, much like the extent of how much she screwed up with Monique and Ron. The comparisons to her transgressions earlier in the evening could be as bad as Jimmy Rollins' proclamations.

After all, _every fourth-place team **are** the ones to beat._

Kim just wished that this night would just come to an end without further incident. There was just no kind of good that came out of this chaotic evening.

"Kimmie? Where have you been? What are you doing in so late?"

And on top of all that, she was going to be grounded for a week. It was her mother's voice from behind her. Kim pounded a fist on her bedroom door before pressing her head against it in weary frustration. Everything was just crashing around her, or so it seemed.

"Kim?" Mrs. Possible asked again. Something must've been wrong with her long daughter. She went over and placed a hand on her eldest child's shoulder, the younger redhead turned around to face her mother, a distraught look in her eyes.

Mrs. Possible had rarely seen the kind of expression that graced her daughter's face. The calm that Kim usually displayed was a quality that she admired. She wasn't going to jump to conclusions, but only a few people could stir up Kim like this.

She refrained from asking probing questions. "Bad night?"

"Yeah, mom... bad night," she replied sadly.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

The teen heroine sniffled. "No, mom, I'm fine..."

She knew that her daughter wasn't telling the truth. It seemed to her that whatever Kim was dealing with, she wanted to deal with it alone.

What Kim had said wasn't the first lie of the evening, and it probably wouldn't be the last lie she was ever going to say in her life. If there was anything she could do to avoid a disastrous night like this, a little bit of honesty would go a long way…

It was kind of like a little talent would have done Taylor Hicks some good... if he wasn't 60.

* * *

Ron Stoppable was stuck. And by stuck, not your-hands-are-stuck-to-flypaper stuck, but Sonic 3 Carnival-Night-Zone-Act 2-on-that-blasted-drum stuck. 

The weekend blew by like any common Nor'easter without him noticing it. It was pretty unbelievable that his entire weekend was spent that deep in thought. Now it was Monday, and he was stuck on that Carnival Night Zone drum. In fact, some of the reason why he was stuck on that drum was of his own doing. It only took him five minutes that Friday night to realize the foolish mistake he made.

Kissing Tara to get his mind off of Kim? That was almost like consistently eating at a fast food joint and complaining about being obese… it was like ramming one's head into a wall to avoid unconsciousness, or more similarly, like fighting a war to achieve peace.

**(Is that S-Chrome, on the left side of politics, again? There are LAWS against that.) **

Now he was feeling guilty. But why was feeling guilty? He had nothing to feel guilty about! He told Kim the truth about his date. She said at the time that she was all right with it. Why, if anyone should be guilty about what happened, it should Kim, yo!

Now, if only he believed that.

Why he couldn't believe that Kim was in the wrong was a twisting, constricting question underneath that blond mop of his. Kim couldn't be right all of the time in her actions. For crying out loud, she was stalking him that night. Stalking was wrong, it was always wrong… and for goodness sakes, she didn't tell him the truth. Wasn't the truth instrumental in any relationship, be it friendship or other 'ships above that?

He should be steamed at Kim. He should have given the riot act to the tune of Dan Hawkins. While it wasn't inter-murals or DIVISION ONE FOOTBALL!!! that they were talking about, all the experts would have said that he should have given it to her good.

Still, there was no reason for Ron to feel as guilty as he did. On one side, he wanted to go over to Kim's place and talk, but at the same time, he wanted for his red-haired companion to come over to him and explain why she did what she did. Because, cot-dang-it, he was so _not _the one to blame here. He wasn't! Yeah, K.P. was the fearless leader out of the both of them, and she did a heck a lot for him... and... Well, he did still have that slight, nagging attraction toward her.

_Heh, slight and nagging?_

* * *

**_slight_** _(slahyt) adj._

_1. Small in terms of amount or degree._

_2. The margin of the Boston Celtics missing the playoffs this year. The dictionary enjoys blatant lies as well._

_3. Getting a nice, healthy bulge in your cargos when thinking about her without garments._

**_nagging_**_ (nag'ing) adj._

_1. To find fault or complain in an irritating, wearisome, or relentless manner._

_2. Coach Tom Coughlin._

_3. "I'm not going to tell you again, Ron. Kim likes you and you like Kim! God, why don't you ever listen to the nice narrator guy?"_

**_attraction (_**_uh-**trak**-shuh-n**) noun.**_

_1. The act, power, or property of attracting._

_2. Providing pleasure or delight, especially in appearance or manner; pleasing; charming; alluring: an attractive personality. (attractive)_

_3. Ronnie's tongue just about dragging on the floor at the sight of his best friend in a black dress._

Diagnosis: Oh, yeah... slight, nagging attraction for sure.

* * *

Who exactly was he fooling? If it hadn't been for that slight feeling of attraction, he would have felt as guilty. Uh, right? 

Not really... or, really? Or...

Oh, yes... Ron was stuck on that gal-darn drum... and worse yet, school started in two days. There wasn't a refrigerator large enough for the young man to thrust his head into and try to forget all of this madness. He was stuck in between what his big, strong, unwieldy head, and what his warm, fleshy, illogical heart, was telling him. His head, usually ignored by Ron, told him to be unforgiving, unapologetic, and vindictive. What right did have spying on him? None, that's what. He deserved, at the very least, an answer and he didn't get that.

And, if he did relent before Kim did? Oh, well, then he was a total slave to his best friend. A weakling that was ready, willing and able to let the girl walk all over him without any provocation.

**(Ah, the dangers of having one's "manhood" on the line! Ron wasn't a man yet, and already it was the line. Tough break, kid.)**

His heart, which he and every Disney-related protagonist followed often, urged patience and forgiveness Kim was the closest person to him... so why should he push her away due to a misunderstanding?

The old ticker also told the sidekick dropped another suggestion his way.

"Don't feel outraged or angry at her, Ron... you should be flattered."

Excuse me, flattered?

* * *

_The Battleground: and we don't mean Michigan, Oregon, and New Hampshire_

"Flattered? Flattered? Have you lost your cotton-picking mind?" A man in a black pinstriped suit yelled to a smaller man in a white tuxedo. He was much taller and brawnier than the man who was given an earful. The bigger guy looked strong and full of resolve, while the smaller guy to be as equally strong, though not as physically imposing as the man who was yelling.

Ah, the mind versus the heart. The age-old rivalry akin to the Cardinals and the Cubs had it not been so one-sided, in the Cardinals favor, for the last 65 years.

"Yes, this young man should be flattered," the smaller man, known as Heart countered, his voice full of that good ole Southern charm. "He knows he should feel that way."

"Heart, you are one cracked crab," the man in the black suit, Head, said dismissively. "This young man here shouldn't feel flattered. He should be outraged that someone so close to him would violate his privacy and truth. This Kim character should not be allowed to just... walk away from this debacle without answering truthfully about her motivations."

Boy, his head was a well-organized and well-processed individual, and maybe most shocking of all, the guy had all the deliveries and cadence of a high-priced lawyer.

Man, Ron thought. I should really start using my head more often.

"Head, you are too headstrong... no pun intended," Heart argued. "Ron knows that he shouldn't be all mad and angry at her. Besides, those negative emotions cause wrinkles."

"Oh, yeah, Heart. That's great reasoning," Head rolled his eyes.

"Anyway… Would you know _why _Kimberly would do such a thing?" Heart asked. The small man seemed to know the answer, and Ron was riveted enough to hear it.

"Well, it would be best if we let that Kim character explain it instead of second-guessing. There are a million different reasons why she did what she did, but the best answer would come if we heard from her and her only," the taller man explained.

"Yes... well, the Heart would know," the smaller guy said confidently. "You know Kimberly wouldn't do anything like that if she was in her right mind."

"Your point being?" Head calmly asked.

"Well, I think she felt jealous that night," he said with a smile.

"What on Earth would Kim be jealous about?"

"Simple. She felt threatened that someone would steal our Ron away from her, which is, in this case, Tara," Heart answered.

"And why would Kim feel threatened? And, furthermore, Ron doesn't belong to Kim, literally and romantically speaking, so what's that about?"

"Sure, he doesn't literally belong to Kimberly, but from what I guess, Friday nights are usually the night they do things together. And as for why she would feel threatened, why do you think?"

"Why do you think I'm asking you?" Head asked.

This was so typical in the case of emotions. Head could explain for hours on end on the way things work, but never come up with the reasons why. Heart shook his head and sighed.

"Because I think Kim likes our dear boy here," he said, a smile growing on his pudgy chin.

"Don't be ridiculous, Heart," the cynical center of the nervous system panned. "In your mind, everyone loves everyone for any old reason. You still think that Bonnie girl likes Ron because she insults him every chance she gets."

"Hey! I think she does, she just keeps it well-hidden… but I digress. But, seriously, though, I think young Kimberly has a crush on our boy,"

"You really think so?" Ron, who had been observing the debate from a distance, asked meekly.

"Hey… Wait a minute! You're not a part of this debate. Go mind your own business," Head snapped.

"Head's right. This is an A-to-B conversation, Ronald. So kindly 'C' yourself out of it," Heart added; his ire equal to Head's.

"Oh, sorry…" Ron replied weakly.

Both stared at the blond boy until he got far enough out of their view.

"Now then, before we were so rudely interrupted… How do you figure that Kim feels that way about Ron? Her feeling that way toward him would be socially illogical."

Socially Illogical? Sociological?

"Oy… Head," Heart placed a hand on the taller man's shoulder apologetically. "Not everything can be explained on what's logical or not logical."

"Illogical," Head corrected.

"Yeah, 'illogical,' Thanks, Spock," Heart said whilst shaking his head. "Now then, Ronald isn't a bad guy, even though he at times doesn't think very highly of himself."

"You still didn't answer to why he would be flattered," Head asked, confused.

"Given his self-esteem level, I think he'd be flattered," Heart replied evenly.

"So you believe that this Kim character and our Ron are on the precipice of a romantic relationship?"

"Not only do I think, I know," Heart answered with a wink.

"Wait a minute, you think?" Head asked. "You know? Thinking and knowing is supposed to be my job!"

* * *

After another day of dormancy and second-guessing on the level of Buck Showalter, Ron decided to get up and out. It was a lovely Tuesday morning, and now was a better time than any to get out and enjoy the moments of the waning summer. 

Waning summer? In truth, he had to high-tail it over Middleton High and pick up his schedule for the first semester. By the way the blond was walking one would think that it was raining like cats and dogs out there. Yeah, what did happen to the summer with all the relaxing in the sunshine, and kicking back, enjoying the long days?

Oh, yeah… the days got lost in all of this awkward business. He rolled his eyes… he didn't want to think about that night anymore. In his mind, he knew that there was no way to undo it, and dwelling on it while trying to find out why Kim did it was as ridiculous as tearing off petals from a flower and droning on whether she loved him or not.

Carefree, dang-it… Ron was carefree, and even if it killed him, this day, he was going to be carefree.

It wasn't off to a good start, though.

As usual, his mode of transportation, a lamer-than-Gilbert Arenas scooter sputtered out just as he got within distance of its goal… much like the New York Knickerbockers. For all he cared, he could've left the keys in the blasted moped and no one would be stupid enough to steal it.

Ron continued his trip by walking the rest of the way. About ten minutes later, he was within the grounds of Middleton High. The hallways were loosely populated with students who either came before or after him lounging around. As he passed, a good few of them turned in his direction to take a look at him.

'Odd,' he thought. He came upon to a less-populated portion of the ground floor and quickly whiffed at the shirt he was wearing. OK… he didn't offend…

Ron shrugged to himself. It was probably his imagination getting away from him, much like the thought that Dirk Nowitzki or Steve Nash were real MVP candidates of the NBA.

He went over to his homeroom to collect his schedule and it went on without further incident. Well, except for the fact that he had Sequential Math B… which means trigonometry!

Ron shuddered.

Boy, this was what his junior year in high school was going to be… his 16th birthday was coming a few weeks or so, and on top of all that, he happened to have all kinds of problems with the opposite sex. The opposite sex problem wouldn't be such a problem if Kim hadn't been the subject of his problems.

No problem, right?

Eh… carefree, Ron! Carefree!

Speaking of the opposite, a welcoming member was to the left of him. Maybe she could clue him in on.

"Hey, Monique?"

The lovely chocolate-skin girl turned in his direction. "Hey, Ron, what's up?"

"Trigonometry. But seriously, do you know what's up with Kim?" He asked, his voice modulated to a low tone. "Because you wouldn't believe what happened Friday."

"Oh, I would…" She flapped. She quickly zipped her lip once she realize that somewhere along the lines of when she left Kim and Saturday morning, Ron and Kim must have met up, and by the look on the sidekick's face, it must not have been good… and also, little did she realize, she committed a Critical Error 110B.

It happens to the best (and worst) of them.

"What?"

Oops. Monique did **not **want Ron to know that she was in on what happened the entire night, even if she was unwilling to follow Kim's lead.

"Eh…" she stalled.

"Why are you stalling, Monique?"

"Uh… I'm not stalling. I just had a lot of caffeine, and I had a momentary crash," she lied, hoping that it would stir his attention away, but to no avail.

"No, Mo… You're definitely stalling," Ron replied. "What's going on?"

Monique sighed. While Ron was weird at times, he was a sweet boy, and he really seemed concerned with the actions of his hotheaded companion.

"I'll tell you the truth, Ron," she began. "Friday night, Kim came to me after she came from… wherever she came from and dragged me along with her."

"Wait… you were in on this too?" He asked incredulously. The look on her face told the entire story.

"You don't understand, Ron. I…"

"You don't have to tell him," a voice from behind the both of them said.

"Kim?"

Both pairs of eyes turned toward Kim as if a searchlight caught upon a fleeing criminal.

"I think I can explain myself," the redhead continued. "First of all, Mo, I'm sorry I dragged you into that mess on Friday, and I hope you can forgive me for it. But with all due respect, I think I can explain to my best friend about what happened."

'Of course, she had to make a dramatic entrance,' Ron judged. He had an idea to say something in regards to what Kim said...

"Explain after three days? That'll help."

...and there it vent... er, went.

Now, Kim would expect that lippy-ness to come out of Monique, especially when she was trying to make a point… but that was Ron who just said that. She opened her mouth to speak up, despite her surprise at his cutting words and found herself cut down.

"So for whatever reason, you drag Monique with you to… follow me around all night on Friday and you don't even have the decency to tell me why?" He asked angrily. "Geez, Kim, we are friends, aren't we?"

Kim was shocked to hear such terse words from the blond.

"Yes, we are," Kim replied calmly.

"So why couldn't you tell me why you did it at the time?"

"I couldn't tell you, but I'm trying to tell you now. Isn't that enough?"

"I don't know, maybe it isn't," Ron replied, his arms crossed defiantly.

Now Monique knew that if Ron had gotten wind of what was going with her and Kim 'keeping surveillance' over him, he would be upset. But right now, on the better half of three days after it happened, it seemed as if he was carrying a grudge… and he almost never did that.

"Maybe?" Kim asked indignantly. "After all I've done for you it's 'maybe'?"

No, just like it didn't take much for Frank Bruno to go down to the mat in a boxing match, it didn't take much for the fiery redhead's nerves to go… well, fiery.

"Yeah, 'maybe'," he challenged, despite the fact that he took a step back from her. "You said yourself that we could tell each other anything, no matter what, and you went back on your own word that night… so you'll excuse me if 'all you've done for me' won't change my mind."

The auburn-haired girl's ire reached a maximum level, which is commonly known as: 'Bout To Whip This Ungrateful Boy's...

"So that's how it going to be, huh? So why not I not tell you the reason at all?"

"Fine with me," Ron turned away from her.

"Well... fine!" Kim replied.

Monique promised herself that as she wasn't going to intervene on anything that involved Kim & Ron and the prospect of them getting together, but their friendship was disintegrating before her eyes, and she just couldn't stand there and let that happen... Not because in her mind that it was the right thing to do, but because there were just things that she was used to.

* * *

_Monique & S-Chrome Present "Things You Can Count On"_

_Death._

_Taxes._

_Quentin Tarrantino being overrated._

_The Shield being awesome._

_The Red Sox faltering in the second half of the season._

_Ice Cube being in a stupid family movie._

_Kim & Ron's everlasting friendship._

* * *

The dark-skinned girl sprang into action as everlasting friends, Kim & Ron, were in discussion on who could say the word "Fine!" the loudest. She shimmied her way in between them. 

"Hey, Hey, wait a minute here." She said. She used her body as a buffer between the dueling twosome.

"She started it," Ron complained.

"If anyone started--" Kim retorted.

"I could care less about **who** started it!" Monique shouted coarsely. "Now, you two are friends. There is absolutely no way that you two should be fighting like this. This whole thing could have been avoided!"

Monique's head sharply turned in Ron's direction.

"Ron — you would have been a lot better off if you weren't so blasted dense when it comes to girls all the time. Think for once, Ron! And when you do, maybe you'll figure out that Kim happens to be a girl too! And where do you get off with saying that nothing that Kim has done for you has any bearing on one mistake that she made? Has she ever turned you away from the ten thousand mistakes that you've made—even those that may have cost the life of you or her or the both of you?"

"…No," Ron muttered. His eyes darted toward the floor as fast as you can say GIMME BACK MY SON!

"You're right, Monique… I-I'm sorry, Kim," the blond began. He avoided all eye contact toward either girl.

"Oh no, Ron, Kim ain't without her faults." The fashion store clerk said, gesturing for him to halt his apologies. She turned to Kim. "You…" she said with that accusing voice that would make Joseph McCarthy proud. "…you cannot say anything! For one thing, your motto is "You can do anything," but you can't tell this boy how you feel? You follow him around all night Friday and not only drag **me **around, but you can't even explain yourself when you got found out, and you have the nerve to get mad because he is? I don't know who you think you are, but you'd better get over whatever pride you've got and stop blaming things on everybody else!"

Kim really couldn't say anything, as most of what Monique said what she was thinking over the weekend.

Monique took a deep breath before speaking again.

"…and finally, admit it, Kim. You were jealous that night, just like were a few months ago…"

"A few months ago?" Ron chimed in.

"Between her and me," Monique scolded.

"Now, if you don't tell this boy what's going on," she said to Kim, then turned to Ron. "And if _you _don't get a clue by tomorrow, I will drag the both of you into that Janitor's Closet... yeah, right over there, Ron…" she pointed down the hall. "I will lock the door, then I will kick you, and I'll beat you both, and I'll tell you two that its fair!" She threatened, her sienna-brown eyes burning with the promise of a beatdown. "Understand?"

Both parties nodded.

"Good."

With that, Monique left Kim & Ron to work out their own problems by themselves. She knew what she said was getting through to them... because if they didn't... there would be... mayhem to pay. She suffered enough from their several misunderstandings, so if nothing was going to come of it, a certain redhead and a blond were going to endure a couple of 'sufferings' of their own.

"Boy... she sure told us," Ron quipped, thumbing down the hall. Kim chuckled.

"Yeah, she did," the teen heroine replied.

Both stood there for a few moments before Ron spoke up. "Wait a sec, K.P. You pulled that whole thing Friday because you were jealous?"

The girl looked around to see if anyone was eavesdropping before solemnly nodding.

"Yes," she answered. "I was jealous... because well, Friday night is usually the night we do stuff... it's kind of like tradition for us, you know? So I was kind of jealous of Tara."

"Yeah, it is kind of like tradition..." he was about to miss the point... like Karl Malone, yet he rebounded right away. "Why would you be jealous of Tara?"

Kim sighed. She knew that this was going to be the toughest part of explaining herself.

"Because… it's because I might have… feelings…"

She was almost there. Ron stared at her intently, knowing in the back in his mind that she was going to say something important.

She could do this… There was just one word left before the truth could be raised off her conscience.

"…feelings… feelings for…"

_'…You, Ron! I think I might have feelings for you, Ron!' _If what she wanted to say was only that simple.

"…chocolate cake," she finished, much to the sidekick's surprise.

* * *

Critical Error 593: Major Choke Job 

Description: A total loss of nerve or lack of the killer instinct at the moment of truth.

Treatment: Learn from the Mavericks, don't choke!!!!

* * *

Chocolate Cake? The redhead really wanted to sink below the ground right about now. All the preparation, all of the lessons she was supposed to learn, and all for this? Forget about 'the girl that could do anything', she couldn't do this. What was Ron going to think about this? She was totally sure that she had lost his attention now. Wait… he was still there. He didn't walk away yet. She still had time to explain herself... or explain where the heck chocolate cake came from. 

"What I meant to say was…"

"It's OK, K.P. I think I know what you're getting at…" Ron interrupted.

"What, really?" She asked.

"Uh… yeah," he stated. He paused for a moment. "I think."

"So… does this mean we're cool again?"

"Oh, sure," the blond said, waving his hand like as if meant nothing. "We always were. I mean, just as long as you never pull a stunt like that ever again… if so, then I'll put the training you gave me to good use," he grinned foolishly.

Despite the obvious threat, it didn't take but a second for Kim to clasp her arms around his slender form and give her faithful partner an absolute squeeze. Ron welcomed it, despite once again, his oxygen supply being cut down to unbelievable deficits. He did get what his best friend was saying… to a degree. For one moment, his mind was finally at ease. Things between them didn't seem so awkward when he kind of knew how she felt. But, just in case she didn't know.

"You know what, K.P.? I think I feel the same way about…"

She broke the embrace and looked directly in his eyes. They almost glimmered like precious gems. The boy quickly became nervous at his admission.

"…uh…"

Now he was beginning to see how tough it was for Kim.

"…the same way about… chocolate cake."

Somewhere, Cory & Topanga were shaking their heads in disgust. But who cared about them, huh? There was always a time for the truth to be known in the future.

Besides, who _didn't_ have feelings for chocolate cake?

* * *

End of Chapter 12 

Chrome Notes: As you would know, this chapter was definitely not going to be of the last few, with all the hilarity that comes with stalking people. You'll also notice that this chapter eclipses my usual 5,500 words

Questions? Comments? Afraid that the Sox (Red & White) will Spring Ahead, and Fall Back, like they always do? Do you have feelings for Chocolate Cake?

Review!

S-Chrome


	16. Stalkamania's Running Wild, Brother!

* * *

_In our last rather exciting chapter of Tales of The Awkward:_

"I just couldn't take it anymore. He's just so... clueless," Kim vented. The red-haired heroine gritted her teeth as she struggled in her bonds.

"Oh, so that's why you went chasing after us, eh, Kimmie?" Shego, the comet-powered malefactor queried. "And you thought you were going to take your frustrations out on us?"

"It worked in **Situation: Oblivious**," Kim shrugged.

Dismissing the bizarre answer, Shego continued. "So, princess," the night-haired woman began. "When did you get back to reality and figure out that wasn't going to work?"

"What is this, a bad talk show?"

"No, it's not!" Shego roared in Kim's face. "Does this look like _The Greg Behrendt _show to you?"

Kim couldn't grasp the outcomes of all the events that happened to her. This is what happened when she let her frustrations and uncertainty led her to. Heck, she got caught by Tara that past Friday. She couldn't reconcile with Ron that following Monday, and now, just this Tuesday, she was caught off-guard by Drakken and Shego when she was supposed to catch **them **off guard. Heck, now all she needed to do is _accidentally_ chop off Mace Windu's arm and join the dark side **FOR REAL**. She wanted to pinch her leg and maybe, just maybe she'd wake up from this nightmare of bad events, but that couldn't happen.

For one thing, she couldn't reach to pinch anything for her arms were more tied up than a batter for the New York Mets. As if all of the pressure was crumbing down on her that very moment, the redhead shut her eyes tightly.

"Still think this is a bad dream, Kimmie?" Shego asked. Kim couldn't dismiss that mischievous glint in the older woman's eyes. When Kim opened her eyes, she was aghast to see the pale woman inches away from her.

"It's about to get worse..." The villainess whispered.

As fast as you can say "Plot Twist for The Hell of It", Shego kissed Kim. But then, as fast as you say "Right-Wing Conservatism," she pulled away from her. Yeah, Kim was pretty much a mess of conflicting emotions long before the confrontation with the bad guys, but now she was pretty much worse off than the Cavalier bench... and trust this, there wasn't much worse of a mess than the Cavalier bench.

"W-why did you do that?" A shocked-and-dismayed-out-of-her-mind Kim asked.

"Geez, Kim, haven't you ever heard of shock value?" Shego asked derisively.

The more Kim thought about, the more it made sense. Using what little leverage that she had, she leaned in gave Shego a kiss of her own. As if on cue, "All the Things She Said" from T.A.T.u. started to play as heroine and villain made out, and out, and out, and...

_Shiver me timbers! That's not what happened in the last chapter! This is just a script from any bad Kigo fic, yo!_

Ahem... now then...

* * *

Tales of The Awkward: Chapter 13 (Stalk-a-mania's Running Wild!) 

In good ol' black and white!

* * *

The first day of school meant a lot of things; it meant that it was the first time that former juniors would become seniors, unless they were total slackers and had to repeat. It was the first time that teachers would pass around those annoying Delaney cards, unless they weren't a resident of the New York metropolitan universe) and finally, it was the first time since the start of the now waning summer that Ron Stoppable actually felt secure. Secure meaning his relationship with Kim, that is… well, whatever kind of relationship that was. 

The only thing that each of them about their relationship was that they both enjoyed chocolate cake, yes, chocolate cake, with its lively, vibrant dark skin, it's delightful texture and taste, and that cherry on top. Ooh, that lovely cherry that sat on top that was just begging to be picked.

Sure, chocolate cake likely wasn't what either of them had on their minds, and if either one had that nerve of one Cowardly Lion, then the sparkling truth with glitter on top would have been out there for all to digest, and, speaking of digestion, chocolate cake always nice to digest… all the time.

Even though their admission was about as ambiguous as Ace & Gary, he still felt better than he did yesterday. Looking back on the past few days, and pretty much the entire summer, he couldn't believe that he spent the better part of three days thinking about the whole thing whilst the summer wasted away. To know that school was back in session was about as disappointing as the series finale of Seinfeld.

Hah, that went without saying.

He rubbed his eyes from the incoming sunshine through the window. That yellow main-sequence star in the hazy sky and the yellow-haired boy was to be confined behind to the cells… err, halls of high school.

Can you say 'CLANG?'

Even worse than the concept of returning to school was the fact that…

"Good morning, middling, medium-sized miscreants of Middleton, this is Dopey and Aunt-Annie in The Morning on a Tuesday!" A voice from the clock radio shouted out. "And Good Gracious God of Gratitude is it ever…"

"HOOOOOT!" A contrived sound byte yelled.

"You bet, Dopey. It is hotter than hell-o, how you doin," the other voice chirped. "It is a muggy seventy-nine degrees at 7AM and it is hucking fot out there already! It's expected to hit 95 this afternoon."

"Boy, do I feel sorry for the surly, stuffy, soupy students of Middleton, for it is the first day of those calamitous, callous classes. They'd rather take a resounding referendum on the rudiment of school and be out on the bright, burgeoning, bronzing beach, made, and laid in the shade…"

"Absolutely, kiddies… you'd better have your deodorant with you, or you'll stink worse than Dopey's attempts at alliteration!"

Ron rubbed the remaining grit from his eyes and sat up. Lazily, Ron reached out and tapped at the snooze on the clock radio. Heck, if it had been on for another couple of minutes, the darn thing would have melted down to goo. He felt sticky already, and he had only awakened three minutes ago! Days like this were simply uncomfortable, and a school day being tacked on was insult to injury.

Just when all of the tension between himself and Kim were cooling down, the weather just _had _to heat up.

* * *

Never had someone been so eager to attend the first day of classes dead in the middle of a heat wave more than Tara. The girl was bubblier than a shaken-up bottle of Cherry 7-Up and was probably less dangerous with contents under pressure. 

Why would this young, blonde bundle of energy be so full of pep this day?

She was going to see Ron for the first time, post-date. In truth, the blonde was chomping at the bit to catch up with him, especially after the conclusion of that Friday night. She was unable to get that kiss off of her mind. Just the thought of it constituted a trip to the bathroom to shower... Cold... Twice.

Not that a cold shower wouldn't help in the horrendous heat, but the heat of the temperature wasn't the reason she had unscheduled two-a-days with the washroom.

Innuendo!

On the serious side of things, if there was one thing that wouldn't be an obstacle to her Ron-related aspirations, it was Kim. Now that she was caught, red-handed, Rafael Palmeiro-style, Ms. Possible would not be around to adamantly accost in her amorous affairs. Looking back on the night, she wondered why someone who claimed to be a best friend could do that to someone so close to him. Now that it was over, and Ron saw the darker half of Kim that Tara had premonitions about, it was going to be hard for him to look at the redhead the same way.

And that was her cue to swoop in to the rescue.

Sure, she didn't save the world every day and twice on a holiday, but she knew that if Ron was as close to her as he was to Kim, she wouldn't take him for granted. Then again, if they _were_ that close, Tara and Ron, they'd probably be going steady by now.

Then again, with the way things were between them recently, steady wasn't far out of the way.

Tara glanced at her reflection in the mirror. She knew that it was gut-check time if she wanted the blond boy to herself. Ron wasn't like the rest of the guys that she had taken a fancy to, there was something there in him that she couldn't place a fine point on. She knew of it at Camp Wannaweep a year so back, and after months and months of waiting shyly and patiently in the bushes, she had a shot to catch herself a Ron, and by GAWD, that's exactly what she was going to do.

" Tara? Are you up yet? You're going to be late!" Her mother called from downstairs.

Late? What was she going to be late for?

"...for school!" Her mother continued, as if she read her daughter's mind.

Gaining consciousness of the time, the blonde cheerleader quickly gathered her belongings and sprinted out her room. If she was going to find time to muse, then the morning wasn't the time to do it.

* * *

Kim Possible woke up feeling ten pounds lighter. Well, not that she was overweight by any stretch, but she did feel that a giant mass was removed from her shoulders. The day before, for intensive... and probably extensive purposes, Ron and her were back on even ground. Kim felt a lot better knowing that she had her best bud back. Looking back on the day before, nothing positive could have happened had it not been for Monique. While she was over-opinionated and at times matched the sassiness of Bonnie, she also managed to be the glue that held everything together. Not only did she offer the voice of reason the other day, but she single-handedly saved their friendship. When the entire thing was over with, the redhead couldn't appreciate what Mo did enough for what she did… 

She was sort of like the MVP of that sitch… coming in out of nowhere and saving the day, totally unlike that Dirk Nowitzki. Why, if Monique was like Dirk in any shape, form, or fashion...

The redhead shuddered.

All-in-all, she learned a lot from the day before and... the days before that. For one thing, the redhead learned that if she followed those rogue impulses... or hormones, she was headed for a world of trouble. And, in hindsight, and due to the fact she got caught with her head in the bushes...

...literally speaking, she knew a stunt like that should never be pulled again, under any circumstance. Curiosity usually left the cat in pieces, and that nearly went double for her friendship with Ron... and she would never want that to happen.

_Speaking of curiosity... what did happen after Tara dragged Ron away from the park?_

Yellow Flag! Back away slowly!

Her rational side, in all its glorious rationality, urged her to leave it alone. Some questions were better left unanswered, especially those of the not-so-distant past... and especially since the not-so-distant past was very much riddled with embarrassment that matched riding in the back of a 5-0 squad car. The time for her to make it to class was running down, and she had enough conundrums to worry about... like finding something to wear that wasn't going to have her broiling in the non-ventilated classrooms.

_More importantly, what if Tara tried some funny stuff? Sure, she appeared to be sweet and innocent on the outside, but anything could've happened. Grrr... if she tried anything..._

**No, no, no! Shell the dwell! Shell the dwell!**

The mantra could've been helpful to anyone else, but not Kim. For on this day, she was fixated on Ron more than Pac-man Jones was fixated on run-in's with the law. Kim let out a deep breath and continued with her preparation for the first day, very sure that the more homework was piled up on the first day, the less Ron-thinking she would do... well, theoretically.

* * *

_August 27th, 9:12AM, Middleton High's Main Entrance  
Middleton High School, Middleton, United States of America  
I am the terror that flaps in the night…  
I am the terror that flaps in the night…  
I am the terror that flaps in the night…_

* * *

In the light volume of students passing through the mildly congested corridors, one student in particular was lying in wait, so to speak; waiting, pacing, and searching for the right moment to engage the target. Indeed, the hunt was on. No, this student didn't have any intention of hurting or causing bodily harm to the target. Well, maybe squeezing target valuable air out of the lungs of said target wasn't out of the realm of possibility. 

Yes, in this state, young Tara was focused; fixated, even, on her blond-haired, freckly-faced target. The cheerleader's level of concentration made her impervious to outside intrusions, indestructible to onlookers, and remiss to all re...

" Tara, what are you doing?"

OK, scratch that... the hunt was over.

"Oh, hey, Bonnie," the blonde girl sheepishly said. "I'm just... eh, looking for someone."

She thought she had answered clearly enough, but her lack of composure made the brunette take a very odd look at her. Before Tara knew how hard the sixth season of 24 flopped, she was whisked away by Bonnie and taken to a quieter location of the halls.

"Let me guess, the date went well then?" An unimpressed Bonnie asked.

"It was fine," Tara answered nonchalantly, attempting to contain her excitement the end of said date.

"Fine, huh? I bet that loser didn't even realize how much you were into him. Tara, I swear I don't see why you even…"

"What?"

Tara, taken aback sharply from Bonnie's beyond terse words, spoke up in defense of her absent beau.

"That shows how much you know, Bonnie," she replied, boldly stepping toward the tanned girl. She had just about enough of her repeatedly ragging on the boy. "I like Ron, and Ron likes me!"

"Does he now? He finally realizes that you're alive?" A bemused Bonnie asked.

Sidestepping the pointed question, Tara threw one back. "If _you_ hate him so much, why'd you kiss him on the cheek, huh?"

Bonnie rolled her eyes at her. "Oh, give me a break, Tar. I was just trying to be nice, for your sake," the haughty cheerleader shot back. "Even if he turned into a prince with millions of dollars and a kingdom the size of Chattanooga, I wouldn't kiss that frog."

That, ladies and gentlemen, was a diss for the ages. Isn't that right, Mr. Evans?

DYNO-MITE!

Tara wasn't the type to glow a basket, er... blow a gasket, but her on-again, off-again friend was really pushing it to the limit. The blonde didn't know why Bonnie was so harsh on Ron all of the time, but there had be something behind it. In spite of that, she wasn't going to waste her time with arguing.

"Look, Bonnie... I don't know what your problem is with Ron, and really, I don't care... and I really don't care whether you approve of him or not, because you're not me. So I'd appreciate it if you stayed out of my business," Tara growled. The blonde hoped that she made her point across as she had never really had the gall to speak to Bonnie that way, but she didn't give much of a thought to it. Dang It, Bonnie had to know that there were just some things were just not to toy around with... and especially not during when she was on the hunt!

"Gosh, Tara… I didn't know you felt so strongly about this. I-I'll back off... I'm sorry that I didn't realize your feelings," Bonnie said as she timidly took a step away from her.

OK... she didn't expect this kind of reaction from her cheerleading counterpart. Shaking her head in confusion, she continued on her way.

"Hey, Tara?"

Momentarily, Tara turned around and faced the tanned girl.

"Good luck," she said with a wink.

The blonde cheerleader couldn't help but smile. It appeared as if Bonnie finally understood where she was coming from.

From down the hall, Bonnie waved at her blonde companion. When she left her view, the cheerleader shook her head in disgust. That girl was about as wide-eyed and naive as naive could get. She probably still thought those fairy tales were real. If she wasn't going to throw the proverbial bucket of cold water on her and lay waste to those schoolgirl dreams of hers, there would be a certain loser to do all that for her.

* * *

End of Chapter 13

Fear Not, for the next update is guaranteed to not take two months!

And by the way, the Intro is not to be taken seriously... and for those who do, and actually have the gall to fire a flame my way...

S-Chrome


	17. First Day of Cruel

Tales of The Awkward: Chapter 14 (First Day of Cruel)

* * *

"Welcome back to the first day of school, class. My name is Mr. Jefferson. Like, George Jefferson, of The Jeffersons, minus that funny looking walk that he's got. This is United States History I. Therefore, we will be studying on most of the events in American History from…" 

Sometimes, one could tell how slow a day was going in school by how many heads were face-down on a desk. Between the intense heating of the day, the unbearable humidity, and the widespread depression of trotting back and forth to the confinement that came with sitting at a small desk for up to eight hours, five hours if said school was overcrowded, there were many people in this particular class that could be mistaken for dead.

As for one Ron Stoppable, his struggle didn't involve keeping one's head above desk level. Despite feeling relatively good that morning, there was something uncertain that was nagging at him. Rather than focusing on the travesty that was the first day, he spent most morning finding out why he wasn't his happy-go-lucky self.

Perhaps he was forgetting something.

"...and I guess that's about it for the lesson plan, guys... and its only been... twenty minutes," the instructor said chuckling, much to the dissatisfaction of the students. Amidst the gnashing of teeth and growling in frustration, Ron decided to be creative and utter the good, old-fashioned groan of disgust and hopelessness.

Maybe it was the resignation of the teacher that bought the blond down like a Yankee losing streak, but the fact that there was still a half-hour left in the fourth period with several periods to go gave the realization to Ron that it was going to be a longer day than most others.

Ron glanced pleadingly at the clock that was mounted on top of the chalkboard.

The minute hand ticked backward.

Yeah, it was official. He was being tortured by the iniquitous ways of the time-space continuum.

Of all the slowest days in a year that one could think of, why did the first day of classes have to be the slowest of all? It was just half past eleven and the eyes of one Stoppable, Ron, were growing heavy with fatigue. Either he didn't get enough sleep the other night, or he needed to pick up an extra-strength can of Jolt Cola. In any event, the blond's head began to droop as the boring-on-top-of-boring class. The boy's head hit his desk with a soft thud. He was sure that Weezy or whatever teacher's name was wouldn't mind a couple of minutes of snoozing... oozing… oooooooozing…

_"...Stoppable! Ron Stoppable!"_

Whoa! Come on, now! He was just settling in for his beauty rest! The blond stirred up to find himself in a courtroom of some sort. Wait... wasn't he in a classroom a couple of minutes ago?

Then again, weren't the Lions a respectable sports franchise before 2001? No wait; they were never a respectable franchise.

He tried to make sense of his surroundings when the voice above boomed upon him again.

_"Stoppable! Where were you on the night of Friday, the 22nd of August?" _

Why did the judge asking that question? Did he commit a crime that he didn't know of? The voice was so close to him... so, what part of the court was he in? Recalling of his knowledge of the twenty-thousand judge shows on daytime television as well as the thirteen incarnations of Law & Order, he realized that he must've been on the witness stand.

"Eh, I'd like to plead the fifth, your honor," Ron replied.

"Uh-uh, baby-boy… you ain't pleading no fifth up in my court," the Judge declared.

Wait a minute… he had heard that voice... and that terminology before. He rubbed his eyes and looked upward. Indeed, it was the voice of someone familiar.

"Judge Hatchett?" He asked, rubbing his eyes again.

"Think again, Ronnie," the judge countered.

The sidekick looked upward toward the judge's chair again.

"Monique? You're the judge?" He asked in disbelief. Monique nodded. "When did you pass the bar?"

"Please, boy... I've been **_'black and ravishing'_**, since day one," she answered with a wink.

"Eh," Ron muttered. "I'm pretty sure that's not what the bar..."

"I'm not the one on trial here!" Monique sounded off. "Now answer the question, or I will hold you in contempt."

The blond boy looked about the courtroom to find several familiar faces in attendance. Perhaps the most important of all was the red-haired girl sitting on the plaintiff's side of the room; Kim. She stared intently at him, waiting for him to answer. The more he focused on Kim, the more troubling it became in trying to answer.

"Eh… I… I…"

"You do realize that you are under oath, don't you, Ron?"

In seconds, Ron felt that every single eye in the courtroom was on him, especially Kim's. His breathing became short and labored and he felt like he wanted to throw up and collapse at the same time. He needed to tell everyone what happened… to wipe the slate clean. It had to be done!

So why couldn't he speak?

Abruptly, the setting of a courtroom dematerialized into a seemingly boundless body of water.

"I… I…" The young man quickly became overcome with water as he sank deeper in the depths of water.

"…Mr. Stoppable? Mr. Stoppable?!"

The young man in question shook his head groggily. He found that he was in the classroom again. Like how it was in the courtroom, every eye was on him once again. This time, however, for a different reason.

"I'm aware that I'm boring, but my goodness, Ron… it's the first day. If you're going to snooze in class, by all means, but keep the snoring down just a little bit," Mr. Jefferson chided. "The stoners in the back need some rest too, you know."

The rest of the class, sans the stoners, of course, chuckled around him. Ron chuckled himself… embarrassment was the furthest thing on his mind though. That small daydream gave him a little clue of why he hadn't felt like himself. Now that he knew what it was, he knew exactly of what to do.

Now, if he could stop Ron Reager from glaring at him for interrupting his beauty sleep…

* * *

_The Ron Stoppable To-Do List:_

_1. He needed to tell Kim about the end of the date with Tara, because those pangs were pangs of guilt that struck him, just like the pangs of **flop** struck itself to Evan Almighty._

_2. He needed to stop having all of these dream sequences. The sequences were either becoming too literal, or beginning to resemble a bad Joel Schumacher movie._

_Wait... Joel Schumacher made good movies?_

* * *

"Therefore, class, if a triangle has the coordinates of A (0, 4), B (2, 2) and C (3, 6) under a dilation of two, then the triangle's new coordinates would be at which location?" 

As the instructor pointed for someone to evaluate the problem most of the students muttered and grumbling at the sheer thought of doing actual work on the first day of class. Kim Possible, however, was taking the indignities in stride.

_'Therefore, if Tara tried to put any unsolicited moves on Ron, then I have every right to dilate her right in the…'_

"Ms. Possible, you look like you're focused. Would you like to come to the board and evaluate this problem?"

Class participation, already, on the first day? This was beyond overkill. Much like an electrified steel cage... seriously, what kind of crack were the Jarrett boys smoking when they came up with that?

Nonetheless, Kim rose out of her. Giving her new mathematics teacher a nasty… no, filthy… no, _mad grimy_ look, Kim plodded to the chalkboard to try her hand at answering the question.

She took at the chalkboard studiously. It was rather simple now that she took a second look. All she had to do was multiply A by zero, which were the chances that Tara had with Ron and how many times Monique ran her mouth about her being jealous that night... must've been about eight times, give or take. (0, 8)

Next was to square the coordinates of B, two and two. Four was approximately the number of years Bonnie had been pestering her for whatever reason she could come up with. In truth, that seedy brunette really needed to come up with a life. (4, 4)

Finally, if she multiplied the coordinates of C by how many months this 'fireworks' business with Ron had been going on by how many years they had been friends in the following year, which would make six and twelve. (6, 12)

"Correct. Nicely done, Kimberly," the teacher lauded. "You may take your seat."

Swiftly, Kim returned to her seat, glad that at least she got the question right. In addition to... wait a sec... did she just use the events going on around her to solve a mathematics problem?

_And they say geometry had no effect on daily human life..._

All humor aside, she had to admit that coming up with the answer through everything that's been going on between herself and Ron was a little bit on the... obsessive side.

_A little?_

* * *

**_Obsessive (_**_uhb-**ses**-iv**) adj. **_

**_Obsession (uhb-sesh-uh-n) n._**

_1. The domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc..._

_2. The state of being obsessed. _

**_3. Expensive, but cheap Calvin Klein cologne._**

4. Kim Possible, for the last... give or take, seven chapters.

* * *

The pressure was on, and for the first time in months, the onus was on one Ron Stoppable. 

'What do I say? How do I say it? Does she even want to hear what I have to say?' His self-imposed questions multiplied for each time he thought about what he was getting into.

"I-I mean, just 'cause I kissed some girl doesn't change anything between Kim and I... does it?"

Perhaps Ron didn't know it as he was asking himself questions to which he didn't have an answer for, but little did he realize he was absolutely right. Little tidbits often never distorted the big picture. For example, just because the Boston Celtics were a joke now didn't take away that they... were a great sports franchise.

(Cough, Cough)

Wait a minute... cough-cough? What's that supposed to mean?

OK... he could be wrong... or very wrong about how Kim would react and whatever result was. But, he had to with that result. For whatever the consequence, he was going to tell her. Right here, right now, right there, and...

...right after lunch.

* * *

_A little bit of something changes nothing, care of Ron Stoppable._

Eh... just because Home Alone 3 and 4 were both hideous didn't make for a ruined series of movies.

_Hah!_

Just because Peter Parker looks as if he got home from The Black Parade in Spiderman 3 didn't make viewers lost respect for him.

_Guess again, big boy..._

And, furthermore... just because the New York Rangers got Chris Drury and Scott Gomez doesn't mean that they won't be making another second-round exit—again.

_No wait... that was true._

* * *

'Where are you, Ron?' A hunt just wasn't a hunt if there was no prey... unless one was to be a cannibal, of course. 

The day was nearly over, and Tara had yet to see her messy-haired ray of sunshine. In the allotted time between classes, she searched left and right, high and low, up and down,, and she came away with a big blank. The blue-eyed girl was driven enough to venture into the boys' locker room to locate her Ron and still turned up with nothing.

Hold up… she was gonna try the boys' locker room? Now, that's love, ladies and gentlemen... or is it fixation of the highest magnitude?

Whichever it happened to be, Tara just felt like running to the nearest patio and yelling "Ron-eo, Ron-eo, wherefore art thou Ron-eo?"

Of all things, Tara wanted to prove Bonnie wrong. She appeared to back off of her hard line against Ron earlier in the day. But her on-again, off-again friend did that to her a lot when she was serious about something… like when they were youngsters and she believed that wind was caused by trees sneezing.

Preposterous, ain't it?

In addition, she wanted to show the much jaded brunette that 'schoolgirl daydreams' could be accomplished for she liked Ron as much as Michelle Wie liked being a bust. Now that it was out in the open, and she had the actual nerve to do it, the blonde cheerleader would stop at nothing to…

Something out of the corner of her eye… Ron! There he was down the hall! She cursed at herself for not paying enough attention. Then again, how many daydreaming girls pay attention to anything around them?

Nevertheless, she followed the boy to… wherever he was going, then, backed up a few steps. It appeared that a red-haired she-devil was also in the hall.

Crud!

* * *

Kim Possible was in plain sight, and Ron Stoppable was headed for a one-way collision course, Linkin Park notwithstanding. 

There he was, and there she was… now was the time. But first, he placed the fingertip of his index finger to his neck to check his pulse. Yep, it was pounding more than what major-league teams do to Devil Ray 'pitching.' Still, he ignored the butterflies that were fluttering in his… well, duodenum, he trudged onward.

"Hey, stranger," His best friend's voice greeted him. "I haven't seen you all day, Ron." She said, brightly smiling at him.

'Oh crap, I didn't speak up first… rethink strategy. Double Crap, she was coming this way. Triple Crap, I can feel her coming toward me… knuckle up, Ron. Knuckle Up!'

At this point, the sidekick's brain was like a NASCAR race. For one thing, it was in overdrive at a frenzied pace, and secondly, it wasn't a sport whatsoever. Unable to come up with his next move, he winged it… like many talented actors of the last generation.

"What's new? Heck, what's old?" He said quietly as he turned away from her.

Intuition told Kim that something wasn't quite right with her boy. She sauntered over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Ron, you're shaking. What's wrong?"

_'OK, what the heck was this all about?' Tara thought. After Friday, Kim shouldn't have had any business even touching Ron. Dang it, if that Kim got any closer to her man, she would have to take it back to the ghetto on her… whatever ghetto that was. _

The redhead had an idea of what was wrong… and it probably had something to do with that blasted bimbo of a blonde girl. Sure, Kim was all kind of… concerned with the entire Ron-Tara affair, she couldn't allow herself fall into the trap of jeal that she did a few days back.

Ron glanced at the soft hand on his shoulder. Darn that Kim, what with her soothing and calm nature, and the fact that she looked ridiculously good. He would've been OK if his red-haired chum was how she was on Friday. She must've actually learned from that entire fiasco… something he didn't do very often. But, for all the championships that the city of Philadelphia _didn't _have, he had to get this off his chest!

"Eh… I wanted to speak to you about something… it's been on my mind for a while a-and I figured that…"

The expression on the girl's face turned from concerned to… ecstatic?

Was this it? Could it be? The teen heroine became hilariously ecstatic and giddy, as mentioned one line ago, and rather alarmed at the same time. Meanwhile, Ron noticed that he was rambling and decided to get right to brass tacks.

"…and, um… it's about the… incident Friday night."

Anyone know that sound an alarm makes when an entire building is about to blow? Well, that's what Kim looked like right now.

_Sound them klaxons, baby! _

"O…K," Kim replied, an eye narrowed toward him.

"Yeeeeaaah," the blond boy anxiously replied. He nervously shuffled his foot. "Well, after Tara and I left the park, I walked with her the rest of the way to her house. You should see the neighborhood over there…"

"Ron?"

"The trees are tall, and the street lamps are really bright, and…"

"Ron…" Kim attempted to intercede with a firmer voice, but he unwittingly continued.

"…and there's like two cars in every garage, and one dog in every garage. Plus…"

"RON!" Kim burst out. "She lives four blocks away from me! Now spit it out!"

_Yes, it was finally happening! It was really happening! Tara could barely hold her excitement. Ron was finally going to tell Kim off. Light the fireworks! The she-devil was finally going to be out of the picture. _

Like a known perpetrator under fifteen hours of hot lamps, Ron cracked.

"Before Tara & I ended our date… we, er… we did… that…thing,"

His nervousness and all of the stuttering… Kim put it all together.

"Oh… my…"

The girl yelled the word WHAT loud enough to put both Lil' Jon and Stone Cold Steve Austin to shame. In all of her rage, she grabbed hold of the lapels on Ron's shirt as slammed him into the nearest locker.

So much for jeal getting the best of her…

"You WHAT?!" She queried ferociously, the force of a thousand explosives in her voice, and a thousand pounds of kryptonite in her eyes.

Seeing the fire… literally, that was in her eyes, Ron backed up a minute. He didn't know that she was going to be this upset.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I didn't mean to… whoa… I didn't mean "it" it," he stammered.

The girl was relieved, but only temporary.

"…But we did sorta have a goodnight kiss,"

_3… 2… 1… and they're off! _

"Oh," she simply uttered before turning away from him. Still, to Ron, the warning flag waved as if a hurricane was approaching. If memory served him correctly, that was the same thing she said more than a week ago when he told her of Tara and their upcoming date.

_If Tara's cover wasn't blown sky high, she would've totally jumped for joy and high-five anyone close to her. Now all that Ron needed to do was tell that red-haired witch that the only girl in his eyes was that pretty blonde with blue eyes, and Ron Stoppable would be signed, sealed, delivered, and all hers! _

_Say, wasn't that a Stevie Wonder song? _

Memory did serve Ron correctly, as fresh in his mind was the fiasco one night after he told her. He sidled over to her, uneasy as ever.

"Kim, are you mad?"

A-and… that's when the ceiling fell in, along with kitchen sink, the bathtub, the walk-in closet, and the family dog.

"YES!" Kim barked at him. Her eyes, usually soft were now intense with what the experts call 'nasty rage.' Ron quickly darted back as she turned to face him. As he stepped back, though, the… _rather irate_ Kim advanced gravely toward him.

_'OK... I, officially, am fearing for my life,' he thought. _

"You…" Kim growled. "…went out on a date with this girl, tell me about it one day before, ask me if I'm OK with it…Then at the end of the date, YOU walk away with _her_… kiss _her_, and actually ask _me_ if I'm **mad**?"

The confused expression on the boy's face seemed to fuel the flame even more.

"I mean… do you REALLY have to rub it in my face?"

"R-r-rub what in your face?" He queried, stammering throughout.

"Grrr…" All Kim now needed was to find the right mixture of magma, lava and ash and she easily could be a first-rate volcanic eruption all by herself. Her face, already red with anger, was wrought with disgust.

"Ron Stoppable, you are _the_ most clueless boy alive," she chastised. "You and Tara, great," she continued, rolling her eyes in derision. "But don't rub it in the face of someone who…"

_'That's right, Kim Consolable,' Tara smiled with approval as she continued to eavesdrop. 'Ron and Tara… gosh, that sounds so good.' _

"Whoa, Whoa… time out. Me and Tara?" He asked. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Forget about the jeal getting the best of her. At this juncture, jealousy had Kim Possible by the throat.

"You two go out on a date. You two kiss. What's next, eh, Ron and Tara going to picking out curtains?"

_'Boy, I hope so,' Tara thought. _

"Hey, wait a minute…" Ron attempted, but was drowned out from the redhead's tangent.

"In fact, why are you even telling me this, huh? It's not like I even care or want to know about…"

"You're **NOT** letting me finish!" Ron thundered, much to the surprise of both Kim and Tara. Now, Ron was one ticked teenager. Old memories of past arguments between himself and Kim rushed back to him.

"You ask me why I would tell you this. Well, you seemed to have had **no** problem talking to me about that golden god, Josh," Ron spat, looking directly at Kim and just as intense. "Kim dreaming of Josh, time and time again. Thinking of Josh, dreaming of thinking of Josh… all about Josh! Heck, last semester it was just about the **only** thing I ever heard from you other than the bad guys! You think _that_ never got old? _I _never got upset, or asked you why you would tell me this, Kim... but **you **have a right to?"

Kim was taken aback… while she grudgingly accepted the fact that he was right to a degree, she could get over his tone. He was bitter. Heck, he almost appeared to be... jealous of Josh. But… why didn't he tell her?

"And forget about that Vince Vinson guy, who asked you out on the Fourth of July a few months back. I smiled and nodded… of course it wasn't OK with it, but I put on a smile for you. So, what the _hell _are you so upset about, huh? Or… am I too clueless to recognize that too?"

It seemed as though all parties were surprised at the outburst, much less all of the oncoming students who were brave enough to venture through the loud noises. Outburst or not, both Kim and Ron still appeared to be upset at one another.

Ron wanted to continue, but his outright anger toward his world-saving friend… Phew! It was enough to make a pitcher slug his catcher, Zambrano style.

"Well, the floor is yours," a marginally calmer Kim said with a sigh. She ushered for him to continue.

"While I… kissed Tara, I kind of knew that it was …"

_'Love at first kiss… love at first kiss… love at first kiss…' Tara mentally urged with her fingers cross. _

"…kind of a mistake," he admitted, much to both cheerleader's collective surprise.

_'A mistake?' The blonde gasped. _

"I knew that it was," Ron continued. "Because there was only person I was thinking about the whole time."

"Oh, who, Bonnie?" The redhead cynically asked.

Oh… this girl was getting on his last… Gee, who was clueless, now? Instead of raising his voice again at the girl's crack, he chuckled derisively. This entire thing was going nowhere. He turned away from her, completely frustrated and resigned with the situation.

"Are you going to tell me or what?" He heard Kim ask from behind.

He shook his head… Clueless must've a traveling bug in these parts or something. Ron turned around and stepped directly into Kim's face.

"It was you," he simply answered.

Well… that certainly changed everything.

"Me?" She asked softly.

"Yes, you," he replied firmly. The girl's eyes widened, as if she heard it for the first time. "Yeah, my best friend, who was stalking me throughout the night, doing who-knows-what, was the first thing on my mind while I'm engaged in my first kiss with a beautiful girl…" He said, his eyes momentarily darting away from her. "…because I, of all people, felt guilty for leaving you there without you explaining. Strange, isn't it?"

_Tara was unpleasantly unsettled with the boy's admission, although he did say that she was beautiful. 'How sweet,' she gushed. _

For the first time that this discussion had begun, Kim was speechless.

"So…" Ron didn't have much to say as he was really beginning to lose his nerve. Worse yet, the redhead still couldn't find much to say. His voice got lower and lower as he tried to explain himself further. "…I guess I've been crushing on _chocolate cake _a little bit more than I've let on… and maybe that's my fault, too… so…"

He stopped talking right there, as he felt that he was completely embarrassing himself. Boy, he would really like to have Barkin catch them in the hall right about now, for if nothing, then at least to break the silence.

Kim glanced at Ron. His eyes were now dead-set on the floor. He looked as if he lost his best friend, and maybe he did.

Wait, no he didn't!

**'You can do this. He poured out his heart to you...' her subconscious yelled. **

While Kim couldn't say much of anything, she could still move. She crept behind him, found the boy's hand, and took hold of it. It was enough for to make the blond turn his head.

"K-K.P.?"

"_Chocolate cake_ is too sweet for me to be mad at…" Kim whispered with a tender smile on her now calm face. He didn't care if it was Kim admitting the same thing, or her forgiving him, but he didn't care. He embraced the redhead tightly, relieved at least that they weren't fighting anymore. Kim returned the hug, closing her eyes and relishing his arms around her for what it was worth.

* * *

_Darn it! They were too quiet. What were they doing? Did Kim finally give up? _

_Taking a chance, Tara emerged from her hiding spot and took a couple of steps from the corner. _

Her breath caught in her throat as she laid eyes on them. It couldn't be!

"No…" The blonde gasped hoarsely. Kim and Ron were in the middle of the hall, embracing one another. There was no denying it. The blond was Ron, and the redhead was Kim. She darted back behind the corner of the corridor and took off toward the nearest stairwell, tears running down her face instantly.

When she got to the stairwell, she just stopped. She wanted to cry, but what the heck was that going to solve? The blonde cheerleader trembled sharply as her bitter tears continued to dew her cheeks.

She thought that there was nothing getting between her and Ron, but she was wrong, just like she was wrong about a whole lot of things, especially the trees sneezing thing, and that's what probably what hurt the most of all.

* * *

It almost seemed like an entire period had gone by before Kim and Ron broke their hug. 

_But it was definitely a better way to pass the time than sit in class. Both could attest to that. _

"So… what do we do now?" Ron asked.

Eh… that was an answer that Kim wasn't exactly prepared for. But, someone else did…

"I'll tell you what you'll do now; take a long stroll to Room 324!" The voice of the one and only Mr. Barkin commanded. "Honestly, Stoppable, on the first day?"

Well, he asked for it.

Ron tried to speak up, but the dean of discipline grabbed both their hands and led them away.

"Come on, lovebirds. You'll still be together… in detention," the military vet said.

Kim & Ron exchanged glances at they were led to detention, the same thought probably on their minds.

'Lovebirds?'

* * *

Minutes after the bell that concluded the first day of school rang, Tara returned to the stairwell that she retreated to earlier, alone with her thoughts and nothing else. 

_She tried to be a nice girl. _

She played the good girl… that didn't work. She was never the type to be jealous, like Kim. She wanted to convince through her actions that she could be a better match than Kim could ever be. But that boat sank before it left the blasted dock.

_She tried to play by the rules. _

She didn't tell anyone of the incident that Friday night under the belief that Kim punished herself enough. Apparently, that was out of the window. That stupid Kim obviously didn't know what kind of wrong she committed, and still Ron forgave her with open arms…

What about Tara; that silly blonde that had a huge crush on him? Heck, they were probably laughing at her misfortune. What really gave her the idea that Ron was going to choose her over Kim?

Tears of bitterness continued to pour down the cheerleader's face. There was only one solution.

_Well, enough was enough! And it was time for a change! _

She ran out of the stairwell to the first floor. She didn't care much for where she was going or what she was going to do when she got there. The blonde moved quickly along the floor until she bumped into a familiar face… and fell over.

"Geez, Tar… watch where you're going much?" Bonnie chided, dusting herself off. She took a moment to look the girl over. "Man, what happened to you?"

That's when the dam broke.

"Oh, Bonnie!" Tara collapsed into the brunette's arms and began to openly sob. "R-Ron… and… Kim… they…" she struggled to speak up. "After all that happened on Friday, he actually still…" the girl couldn't take it anymore and began to weep all over again. "You were right, Bon… you're always right…"

All that happened on Friday? Ron and Kim?

"Am I?" Bonnie asked with a grin as evil as Sidious himself.

"Yeah…" Tara muttered through gasping sobs.

"Now, now…" Bonnie consoled patting the girl's back soothingly. "Calm down, T. Come with me…" She rested the pathetic girl's head on her shoulder. "We'll talk about this… tell me everything that happened."

"O-OK," the blonde sniffled.

"…and I do mean, everything," Bonnie said as she guided her fellow cheerleader out of the building.

* * *

End of Chapter 14 

A few things bought this chapter together quicker than I thought.

A. The song "We Need A Resolution" from the late Aaliyah (and to a lesser extent, Timbaland) gave me pretty good ammunition for most of the chapter… as well as the late Owen Hart… which is where the time for a change came from.

Owen Hart + The Nation is undoubtedly greatness.

Ahem…

Questions? Comments? Feel sorry for Tara as much as I do? Do you feel that enough is enough, and it's a time for a change? Review!

S-Chrome


	18. Embarrassment Central!

_And now, with no due respect to David Letterman, S-Chrome proudly presents the Top 11 Reasons 'Why Tales of The Awkward hasn't been updated for the past nine months!' _(In good ol' black and white!)

**11 -**_ S-Chrome had been eating far too many cheese sandwiches to reach the keyboard._

**10 -**_ The acoustics were too high_.

**9 - **_S-Chrome spent six months on lock-down for attempting to raid houses belonging to Mark McCorkle, Bob Schooley, and Steve Loter in an attempt to make a fifth season with Ron & Bonnie getting together in the series finale._

**8 **- _S-Chrome temporarily doubted his storytelling ability when he found out there were more sports references than story. How embarrassing._

**7 - **_S-Chrome held a brief period of Rufus/Shego shipping mania._

**6 - **_S-Chrome was mourning the reality of another championship-less season in The Bronx... but happy in the fact that the Red Sox won't be winning anything in 2008 either.  
_

**5 - **_S-Chrome actually found himself a real job. Or two._

**4 -**_ S-Chrome was a lot more interested in what John Cena was doing._

**3 -**_ Like the New England Patriots, Tales of The Awkward was highly touted and overhyped... and won nothing._

**2 -**_ New York Giants defensive end Michael Strahan said that Tales of The Awkward, along with the other NFC nobodies (Especially the Dallas Cowboys) got **(BOOM) **Stomped out!_

**1 - **_Hang on, what is a tale that isn't awkward anyway?_

* * *

Tales of The Awkward: Chapter 15 (Embarrassment Central! Part One)

It's aliiiiiiive.

* * *

"S-s-s... after they finished arguing, I saw them from the corner... (sniffle) and then, I saw him... I-I saw him... I saw..."

"Saw him what?"

"I saw him... I saw him... and her... and they were..." Tara tried to stiffen up, but the tears overcame her and as a result, the blonde-haired girl broke down once again. It was rather difficult to explain what had happened earlier in the day, as she was between loud, gasping, Topanga-at-criminal-court like sobs and broken speech. Everything aside, it was extremely hard to explain oneself while there was a large lump in one's throat, and add to that, a lump in one's heart as well.

Forever impatient as she was, Bonnie continued to press her friend as to what happened to make the blonde-haired girl look and sound like a total wreck. The brunette knew that it had something to do with Stoppable, but due to Tara frequently blubbering between sentences, she didn't have much of an idea what. From either side of the queen-sized bed in the brunette's bedroom sat Bonnie and Tara, one of them eager for information, the other too hurt to give it to her.

She intently listened while the blonde struggled to find the words to describe that kind of situation. "I just can't believe he would choose her over me!" The heartbroken, crestfallen blonde girl whined.

Bonnie, though trying to comfort her friend as best as she could, rolled her eyes. If it was up to her, it would be illegal for decent girls like Tara to have it so bad for losers like Stoppable... but then, she too, would partly be in the wrong as well. Not that anyone on the planet Earth was going to know about that. Maybe those out there in Saturn or Neptune may know the truth, but here on this third rock from the Sun... no way, Jose.

"Tara, I'm not going to know how to help if you're unable to tell me the whole story," she said calmly, attempting her Oscar-worthy role at being the understanding friend that she almost never was. Well, she always thought she would make a great actress. After all, she did take three or four drama classes in three years of high school. It took several moments for the emotionally spent girl to speak up.

"It started Friday night... when Ron and I went out on our date," she momentarily paused. "I-I mean, we had a nice time together... so, after we saw a movie, he wanted to walk me home. So, we're walking through the park and we heard some rustling in the bushes. So, Ron and I went over to check it out and..."

In a couple of moments, Miss Rockwaller heard quite possibly _the _biggest single piece of gossip since the fearless leader of COINTELPRO liked sashaying around in ravishing evening gowns... maybe bigger than that. What Tara was telling her couldn't possibly be for real. In her mind, Kim Possible had to be the biggest closeted freak on the planet to do what she did... or every silly girl in a thirty-mile radius were falling for Ron Stoppable. In any event, this was **so **going to ruin Little Ms. Perfect once she spread the word out.

The brunette's devious thoughts took a slight turn once she noticed that Tara had broken down into tears again. She really pitied her blonde cheer teammate, yet she didn't know whether it was because Tara was truly hurting or because Tara actually harbored real feelings for such a loser like Stoppable. However, she did have a nice course of action to... subside some of her friend's emotional pain. She scooped the trembling girl into her arms in an attempt to comfort her. In their embrace, the sobs of the blue-eyed girl ceased gradually.

"Shh, it's OK, T," Bonnie consoled gently. "It's going to be all right. I know what we could do to make it better," she said, a developing grin on her face.

"What?" The teary-eyed girl asked.

Bonnie smiled. "What if we tell all of Middleton High that their Little Miss Perfect ain't so perfect…"

"No," Tara replied.

The brunette was taken aback with Tara's answer. "What? Why not? Look at what Possible and Stoppable did to you! They both broke your heart!" Bonnie exclaimed, disbelieving in Tara's answer. "I mean, why _wouldn't_ you want to get even with those two?"

Tara didn't answer. Perhaps she was thinking it over in her mind. Maybe she did have a little more than air underneath her hair. Bonnie continued to grow impatient with the blonde's indecision.

"Tara, I'm trying to help you out," she said, narrowing her eyes at the other girl.

"I'll get over it in my own way," Tara replied firmly. "Besides, if Ron is as close enough to Kim to forgive her for what she did that night, then there's nothing that could come between them," she calmly said. "And I don't know how starting some ugly rumor is supposed to help me," now it was Tara's turn to narrow her eyes at Bonnie. "I told you what I told you because I thought you wanted to help, not use it to destroy your sworn mortal enemy."

Sworn mortal enemy?

"I _am _trying to help," Bonnie replied defensively. "I think it just stinks that Possible comes off as being this model of perfection, who gets away with everything and cons everyone into believing her, regardless what she does and who she hurts in her pursuit of perfection! Normally, I could stand it… but this time, she hurt you, one of my friends, and I can't have that."

Tara was touched and unnerved at the same time. The blonde was moved by the fact that Bonnie considered her a friend. Past that, she would've been absolutely lying if her cheerleading partner didn't have a point about Kim.

"She's not perfect, Bonnie. No one is," Tara simply said. "And I'm sure she'd tell you that, too."

"Yeah, but… if only everyone else could see that…"

"Bonnie, is Kim really worth all the trouble?"

The brunette's ego screamed 'YES! YES! FOR THE LOVE OF PAUL KARIYA, YES!' but the words from her mouth had a different answer.

"No, I guess not," she whispered. Darn that Tara and her making so much sense.

"So, you're not going to tell anyone of what I told you?" Tara asked hopefully.

The tanned young woman sighed in defeat. It appeared that Tara wasn't going to agree with her type of help that she was offering. "Fine, Tara… but only for you," she said with a cheeky smile.

Tara enveloped the unsuspecting brunette in an embrace. She was glad that she had a friend like Bonnie. Sure, she was a bit rough around the edges, but when push came to shove, she would do the right thing. She pulled away to beam at the girl who unknowingly helped her feel much better.

"You know, Bon… I don't feel so bad anymore," she said. "And… there are other guys out there other than Ron."

Bonnie was thrilled to hear that from Tara. She chimed in "Guys that are better looking… guys that are a lot cuter… guys that aren't total losers… guys that are…"

"Bonnnnnnie…" Tara scolded.

"This is my house, I'll say what I want," Bonnie playfully replied. It held true to whatever decision she made…and whether Tara liked it or not, she was going to **do** whatever she wanted. It was obvious to the brunette that Tara wasn't mature enough to accept her help, and she wasn't intelligent enough to get direct satisfaction from the result.

Naturally, and as she always had to do, Bonnie had to take matters into her own hands. She wasn't doing this just for herself. She was doing this for herself _and_ Tara, because that's what friends did for another!

Besides, Tara would thank her when it was all said and done.

* * *

**"This is Temporary Sanity; the next stop on this Awkward Local will be Embarrassment Central. Step in and steer clear of the falling psyche."**

Ding-Dong! The chimes meant that the doors were about to shut... no going back.

_"I heard she stalked them for four hours straight, and after she was found out, she stood outside of Tara's house with a loaded pistol."_

_"Get this; from what I hear, she tried_ _to beat up those three ushers who kicked her out of the 'plex when she was disturbing the movie..."_

_"Well, I heard that she stalked him the entire night because she was pregnant with his child! In fact, I saw her get tickets to go on the Maury Show just last week."_

_"Forget what you heard about all that! I heard that she followed him around to make it look like she liked him. In truth, I heard she's not even interested in guys. Do you see how she's like when she fights that weird green-looking chick? It looks like she's a little comme ci-comme ca, if you know what I mean."_

_"She ain't the only one... I mean, why would that Monique girl hang with her, anyway? There's something going on with those two, I know it." _

_"Well, I heard she was chasing after Ron with two flashlights, a pair of binoculars, and a helper monkey."_

_"I don't care anyway... I always knew Possible was a freak." _

_"I know, right? Always thinking that she could do everything and all that stuff... I can't stand her no way." _

**"This is Embarrassment Central. Transfers are available to Poor Self-Image and Public Humiliation. The next stop will be the Reputation Pillory. Step in and stand clear of the damaged ego."**

_"Ding-Dong"_

* * *

Rumors were often false and/or grossly fabricated. Any adult with a reasonable level of maturity knew that for fact.

If only adults were the demographic who Kim Possible was dealing with.

Now, in a world where gossip ruled every establishment, from the quaintest of elementary schools on through the Wisteria Lanes of Any-town, USA, to the largest of the misguided media outlets, it was never good to be the subject of widespread rumors. Because rumors had that little tendency to spread like… drunken actors caught on tape, and as they spread, they would gather more steam, more momentum and became more and more odious as the discouraging word were passed from one overeager chatterbox to another. Then again, you know what they say: Any press, good or bad, is good press.

OK, you try telling that to an eleventh grader, and you'll probably find yourself screamed on for a couple of hours.

High school was a completely different animal. The law of the commanding populous was often the law of the halls, and if one word of solitary gossip was put out, one-hundred thousand others would add to the equation. Anyone who wanted to be the subject of gossip either had never been the subject, or happened to hail from the Spears family.

Middleton High was no exception to this norm.

Kim knew that about the repercussions that came with her... surveillance the instant that a speechless Ron was dragged away out of the park by Tara when she was unable to explain her motive, but when her fellow students stopped socializing to turn an accusing eye toward her when she walked by—and the low whispers after she passed them by, that, like another Rush Hour movie, was something she wasn't prepared for.

No wait… everyone was prepared for that.

While the lithesome redhead had an idea who spread these hideous rumors, she couldn't go to that source and do anything objectionable to her as then it would confirm the… uglier-than-Renee-Zellweger rumors that were swirling around, and ultimately sink her deeper into the bottomless abyss.

Wait, if the abyss is bottomless, how can you sink deeper?

"That's Kim Possible, isn't it?" A girl asked from behind her.

"You mean that crazy stalker chick that hijacked a bus to follow that Stoppable guy around?" Another girl whispered back. "Yeah, that's her… she looks more like the quiet psycho-type to me."

It took a good deal of restraint for the redhead to just walk by and accept the blatant assassination of her character. Well, it wasn't too much of an assassination it was her character's murderer was likely on the grassy knoll before it unloaded three or five shots into her character's skull, then took it to the town hall and was hung, drawn and quartered. Oh, this was going to be one, tough, nasty day to endure. One way or another, she had to grin and bear it…even if it meant every capillary busting in her body due to highly contained rage.

By the time the lunch period came around, young Kimberly-Anne had overheard every last rumor that could be said about her. She couldn't believe that people could spin all these kinds of lies in the face of what really happened. Still, however, there was very little that she could do about it. Heck, the Friday Night Massacre did occur, and the past couldn't be changed… unless one of the redhead's great uncles happened to be Doc Brown.

As more whispers came from behind her as she strolled along down the lunch line, she wondered if this was just karma coming back on her for something she did wrong in the past. B-but, she only tried to do good deeds, didn't she?

She had a lot of time to think things through, as it was the lunch period and she wasn't much in the mood for eating. The redhead lamely picked through the grotesque mass of brown and purple matter that was this day's main course. She scanned through the cafeteria from left to right, not a friendly face in the entire bunch.

Until, of course…

"K.P., where've you been?"

In the random chattering of the rest of the students in the area, Kim didn't need to turn around to recognize whose voice it was. Heck, her disposition went from chilly to uncharacteristically jubilant in record-setting time. She made an attempt mask to her excitement of seeing him as he sat across from her and found it quite difficult. She momentarily looked away from her sidekick-of-sorts and focused in on him once again.

Still, that feeling of some kind of anticipation still didn't escape her. Kim couldn't remember being happier to see Ron, unless she hadn't seen him in a reasonably long while, and last she checked, eighteen to twenty-four hours was not a reasonably long while. In fact, as she checked her internal memory banks, the last time she remember being this ecstatic to see a boy was...

...Josh Mankey.

Hm, who was that guy anyway?

She had little problems then admitting her crush on the aspiring artist, but with Ron, it was much different. The redhead didn't deny her newfound sentiments toward her best friend, at the same time too, she couldn't quite accept it either. In her view, there was just something a bit off with crushing on someone who she knew for as long as she did, yet not off in a bad way. It was as if the good qualities of Ron began to shine through all of the weaker ones... not that Kim was focused on the bad ones. What kind of friend would she be if she only focused on the bad qualities...?

Oy, she was so confused right now. Maybe it would become clearer to her, but for now...

"K.P., I swear I'll give you my last slice of pizza if you'll stop staring a hole through me..." Ron said to her, his voice a bit shaky.

It didn't take Kim more than about two seconds that she didn't take her eyes off of her confidant whilst she was ruminating the weirdnesses and pleasantries of crushing on said confidant. Though she was caught out in the open, she did cover quickly for it.

"I'm not staring at you, I'm staring at that spot on your..." She reached across the table with a finger to poke a spot of tomato residue off of Ron's cheek. She was surprised to see Ron shrink away from her touch, but the redhead still couldn't resist a slight grin at his sudden hesitance. It was refreshing to see Ronnie look a bit unsure at what she was doing rather than the opposite... though, he looked like a deer in the highlights when she boldly pecked him on his cheek in front of Barkin, basically reinforcing his thought that they were lovebirds... and when she winked at him a few moments after that.

Wait... since when did she label Ron as 'Ronnie'?

'OK,' Ron gathered as he avoided eye contact with Kim. 'Since when did Kim care about foodstuff residue being stuck to his face?'

The entire week had been filled nearly to the brim with 'Since When's' when it came to the blond teenage boy. Like, since when did Kim get all touchy-feely with him, much less kiss him in public? Or, since when did so many people pay attention to him? He was fully comfortable with being that mildly uninteresting second-fiddle that played the background. More importantly, as he stared at that slice pizza that he'd have scarfed down already, since when did the term 'Legitimate Contenders' and the Boston Celtics fit in the same sentence?

He hated instances where he'd rather think than eat.

The two friends, who usually found more than enough topics to converse about, remained silent for several minutes. During those rare times when they were at upset at one another they could often have more to say than at this moment. Neither teen spoke a word in passing to one another, even when that familiar ring of a bell however broke the cafeteria from their lull. Kim & Ron were no exception. Both responded quickly to the bell. Ron found that he had walk a bit quicker to catch up with the redhead, who appeared to be a rush. He finally got to her in the stairwell.

"Wait up, K.P.! Physics class **cannot **be that exciting..." Ron called as he came within a couple feet of her.

There were two things that made the girl stop dead in her tracks; One, that blasted goofy look on Ron's face that she found more endearing by the day, and two: He was actually holding her hand. A pair of green eyes focused in on that hand that appeared to be grasping hers. It was as if nothing else was going on outside of Ron's hand touching hers. Heck, even if Richard Simmons was gored to death by wild steers, it wouldn't have made a difference to Kim and Ron.

Not that anyone would want Richard Simmons to be gored to death by wild steers...

..._riiiight?_

_'Forget about all of the weirdness,' _Kim thought. This was actually nice. Still, though, for as awkward and at the same time, nice as it was... this was really, really nice.

The girl's face began to flush... that's rarely happened... ever. Still... she did have to get to class. She was running late as it was.

Slowly, and hand in hand, Kim led Ron out of the corridor and into the third floor's main hallway. There was still a light volume of students making their way in and out and probably not enough to take notice that the school's international heroine was holding hands with her loyal partner. Heck, people around the school weren't that nosy...

...or were they?

Sure, Kim thought. 'I'm a girl and my boyfriend... er, friend that's a boy. No! Best friend... is simply walking me to class...

_'Even if he had to chase her down and grab her hand inadvertently. But, that wasn't here nor there. It was their moment.'_

...no one would take notice. There's plenty of people in this school who are boyfriend and girlfriend... and don't keep a low profile, and...'

Her physics classroom was well down the hall, and people were starting to stare at the both of them. Kim tried her hardest to believe that maybe something else was worth staring at from these loitering and/or hustling students. Life was starting to look oh so hard when you're accused of being a stalker.

"Hey, K.P.," Ron whispered amusedly. "Look, we're a power couple."

Where the heck did that come from? Did he say that in jest, or... the closer she got to class, the more pairs of eyes fixated on them. Abruptly, Kim jerked her hand out of the grasp of Ron's. Maybe that would stop the suspicion, for the moment, for the moment.

For the moment anyway.

A voice came from the seemingly endless amount of people watching them. _"Ron Stoppable!"_

Oh, Kim knew that voice. She knew that voice much too well.

The voice that cut out from the crowd presented itself. Short brown hair, bluish-green eyes, and the unmistakable expression on her face...

Bonnie Rockwaller.

She rushed over to Ron, much to Kim's disdain.

"Ron, what on Earth are you doing with _her_?" The brunette asked pointing at the redhead.

* * *

_Kim's Urge To Kill Bonnie_: **Rising** (And at this point, Kim was highly capable of doing so. But then there would be the murder trials and conviction, and who had time for that?)

_Just thought you'd like to know._

* * *

With teeth as gritted as Jonathan Papelbon's... well, maybe not as yellow, Kim was about to intercede when Bonnie timely continued.

"I know you two are friends or whatever, but how could you even talk to her after what she _did _to you?" She needled.

"What she did is none of your business, Bonnie!" Ron responded, his voice came out high enough to startle both Bonnie and Kim. The red-haired girl was both surprised and pleased with Ron defending her. Well, kind of defending her.

"Ugh, sometimes you boys just don't know what's good for you," Bonnie scolded, a hand cocked on her hip.

Quickly, she interlocked her arm with his and forcefully pulled him away from Kim's reach much to both Ron and Kim's bewilderment. If there was any juncture that had Kim Possible more ticked off than this very moment, she had to search her internal memory banks... then again, there was little time for that. She was sick as ever with the meddling Rockwaller and everything she did to throw Rocky Wrenches into her life... and now, Kim was going to do something about it, damn it. Totally ignoring the fact that she was about ten or twelve minutes late for Physics. She attempted to follow Bonnie and Ron, unfortunately her progress was impeded. By two relatively unknown boys.

"Ex-cuse me!" Kim irately said to the boys.

"Oh no, Possible. Your stalking days are over." One of the guys said.

The volcano was well ready to erupt, she backed away from the boys, very much prepared to lay down some sixteen-styles of Kung Fu down on these clowns, however...

"OK, STRAGGLERS! CLEAR THE HALLS! GET TO CLASS!" Bellowed the voice of Mr. Barkin.

In mere moments, the students that were eavesdropping on the goings-on between herself and Ron scattered. As for Kim, she slowly ambled to her scheduled class. Oh, she was not in a very place right now.

_Embarrassment Central._

She knocked on the locked door to her classroom. As she waited for the teacher to opened, she looked toward the ceiling as if to say to the heavens, 'What did I do to deserve this?'

**(Heh, you know what you did, Possible... You did a bad, bad thing.)**

* * *

End of Part 1

Yay, S-Chrome's back! Start dancing in the streets! ...or, just sit there and appreciate it. Or... whatever you want to do.

Whatever you do, good readers, make sure you drop the Chromed one a review or something or the other.


	19. Embarrassment Central! Two!

Tales of The Awkward: Embarrassment Central--TWO!

_Barbecue Tongs!_

* * *

"Bonnie... umph! Where the heck are you taking me?" A slightly peeved... well, particularly peeved Ron Stoppable asked the brunette in question. The blond boy struggled to release himself from the girl's grip and found it to be quite impossible. Either Bonnie was more physically fit than she had previously let on, or despite that one week of training from Kim, he was a far cry from a respectable level of physical prowess. In short, he was nearly sixteen, and a girl who had to be several pounds lighter than he happened to be dragging him around like a sack of beans. Embarrassing, much?

Forget embarrassing. It was maddening. In less than an hour's time ago, there he was on the cusp, the very cusp, of being proactive and letting his actions speak for him in dealing with Kim. Sure, his heart was punching a gaping hole through his chest, his palms grew sweaty and it took the effort of seven Stoppables (Jon, Don, Dom, Tom, Lon, Sean and Archibald) to struggle into uttering a complete sentence while he held the girl's hand, but worth it? Definitely it was. On the inside, it may have felt like he was going to implode, but at least he was a bit more direct about how he felt.

And if his anxiety-ridden eyes weren't deceiving him, Kim didn't seem to have any problem with it. Which was great... until certain interlopers reared their ugly heads.

To be fair, Bonnie was just about the furthest thing from ugly, but you get the idea. Speaking of whom, she still didn't answer his question as the brunette continued to trudge him along. By some temptation of fate, Bonnie had to have the same class as he did after lunch. So, after she dragged him away from Kim, here she was now, dragging him away to wherever... with a gaggle of onlookers watching them pass by, regardless of the fact that he was moments away from being late to class… again.

"Bonnie!" He cried. At long last, he untangled himself from the cheerleader's Kung-Fu grip. She appeared to be surprised when he broke away from her grasp. He darted away from her when she tried to reach for his hand again. "W-what..." He pulled away from another attempt of the brunette to grab his hand. "...are you doing? Bonnie? Why are you doing this?"

Bonnie looked at him as if he had been hit with a shillelagh of craziness. "Are you kidding me?" She asked him. "Do you even know the ramifications of what Possible did? That girl is a psycho! Haven't you been hearing what people have been saying about her?"

He scooted away from her again. "Who cares about what people have been saying about her?" Ron countered. "Kim is my best friend, and I don't care what anyone says about her!" He declared. "And, now since it's all out in the open, why is it your business to know about what Kim did?"

It was the second time that he asked that question to her... and the brunette really wasn't in favor of how Ron was talking to her. It was as if he was talking to her like he was equal to her—Perish that thought.

"So, you think it's just fine what she did?" Bonnie challenged again. "And you just forgive her just like that? So, you'll just forgive her when she tries to pull this again?" She added more before Ron could respond. "Because you do know she'll do it again..."

Now, it was very rare occurrence when Ron Stoppable lost his temper. But, it looked as if this was shaping up to be one of those times.

* * *

_Occurrences by which Ron Stoppable would lose his temper:_

_1. A fight to the death with arch-rival Monkey Fist; It's arch-rivalry... it's justified._

_2. When assorted villains forget his name; Justified, especially when his name is but three syllables long. Come on! Ron stop'puh'bul... Why is that so (bleep)ing hard to remember?_

_3. When a Lil' Wayne song plays on the radio. Definitely justified._

**4. When folks constantly down his best chum, K.P.**

* * *

"I got a better question, why does all this matter to you?" Ron wasn't just going to stand there comply with Bonnie's demands for an answer until he got one of his questions answered, and not floated over.

"Why does it matter to me?" She repeated the question. "Oh, I don't know. Does the name 'Tara' mean anything to you?"

Oh! Darn, Ron thought. He had completely forgotten about Tara. Now, if he remembered correctly, Tara was the one with blonde hair... right? Now, while he did go out with her the other day, nothing was set in stone, so why exactly did Bonnie bring her into the mix?

"If you didn't notice, Tara is a friend of mine... and for whatever reason, she likes you a LOT," the acidic brunette said.

"Yeah, but, what does she--"

"She _saw _you two in the hall on Monday. She was heartbroken." Bluish-green eyes welded a hole through his being. That, he did not expect to happen... what was she doing snooping around the halls anyway? He tried to think of why and at that very moment he was shot in the lower abdomen with guilt bullets; hollow-tip style.

"You think about that, because it's your fault, Stoppable." On one heel, Bonnie left his sight and disappeared into the school's many corridors.

Ron nearly felt sick to his stomach. In all of his haste to rush off and spill to Kim, he had completely forgotten about Tara. As uncoordinated and ignorant as Ron was to the ways of the opposite sex, even _he_ knew that the blonde cheerleader had liked him... a lot. Now the young man was as conflicted as ever.

_How was he supposed to know that he would turn into a pimp-tastic playa so quickly?_

He wanted to tell Tara that he was sorry if she felt that he was leading her on, then again, he also wanted, and rather badly, to let Kim know a few things about that night. Well, whatever he did... he had to do it soon... because he was seventeen minutes late for class as it was.

* * *

Kim Possible was down. Very down. Very down and uncertain to be exact. It had been two periods since she had last saw Ron, and heck, she kind of missed him already. She had a multitude of thoughts before and after Bonnie dragged the boy away from her, most notably, if she should kill the brunette cheerleader with fire... or decompose the body with acid. Who knew what type of scandalous, vile ideas that Bonnie was putting in Ron's head this very moment. After all, Ron was very impressionable young man. To add fuel to the tire fire, the silly rumors and gossip continued to swirl around her, and naturally, she was within earshot of every last one of them.

Kim buried her head on the desk. Boy, as if she couldn't regret what she did that night any more than she did the last few days. Now, it was like she was subjected to extra punishment. On top of the Liz Smith-ian gossip that continued to corrode at her psyche, but the possibility of compromising what she had with Ron. While not openly distraught to the point of the redhead biting her own fingernails, it was a struggle to concentrate on anything pertaining to school work.

Fortunately for Kim, it was still September; otherwise by the end of October, her grades would take a serious nosedive.

You know, like a B or (perish the thought) a B-minus.

"Daydreaming again, Possible?" Mr. Secant, resident Trigonometry teacher of admirable talent asked the embattled redhead. Kim stirred, and then stared toward the sky, as if it had already fallen upon her.

"Better than her stalking again, Mister S.," A random student quipped. Most of the class chuckled... well, maybe not Kim, but if she had more of a sense of humor, she'd laugh too.

"OK, class! Settle down!" Mr. Secant calmly warmed. Eventually the class quieted down, and the guy who told the joke got a few random high-fives. As for Kim, she was lower than when she was five minutes ago. She returned to her previous position with her chin on the desk. Mr. Secant didn't bother to reprimand her and he just continued with today's lesson. She cursed the day she decided to go off and stalk after her best friend and his date in a jealous rage. All of this drama could have been avoided if she decided to just take a load off that day... but, no... She was the one faced with a load of crazy nonsense, all because she spied...

What else was there but to sing the blues?

* * *

_Kim Possible Performs the Smash-Hit Single "Because I Spied"_

_I was just a normal girl, until I spied (Ooh, ooh)  
I could do anything in the world, until I spied (Lah, da-da)  
Now I'm labeled a stalker, and I know why (Why, Kim?)  
Because I spied, because I spied, because I spied_

_I could've had a B.F., until I spied  
I would've put hickies on his neck, until I spied  
Now I'm oh-so lonely, and I know why (Why, Kim?)  
Because I spied, because I spied, because I spied  
La-da-da-da-da-dah!_

_I got kicked off the cheer team, because I spied  
They said the jealousy turned my eyes green, because I spied ("I've always had green eyes!")  
Now I'm stuck in the house, and I know why (Why, Kim?)  
Because I spied, because I spied, because I spied  
La-da-da-da-da-dah!_

_I ruined my entire rep, because I spied  
Now I'm watched with every step, because I spied  
Now I'm below the chess club, and I know why (Why, Kim?)  
Because I spied, because I spied, because I spied!  
La-da-da-da-da-dah!_

_I lost my shot at romance, because I spied  
I gave up my only chance, because I spied  
So if you see me dating **Shego**, you'll know why (Why, Kim?)  
Yeah-heh, because I spied, because I spied, because I spied  
La-da-da-da-da-dah!_

* * *

When the afternoon bell gave out a ring, it seemed as if all of the students of Middleton High rushed out of the classrooms and scurried out of the building like an important venture were just mere moments from now. Well, maybe not for Kim. The only reason she was glad the day was over was he fact she wasn't going to hear much in the way of heckles and childish quips. Not for another eighteen hours though.

Still, the Bataan Death March of her psyche didn't stop when the final bell rung, for this day was the first day of cheer practice. Forget the fact that Kim had little to cheer about, she was going to see more of Bonnie, and her urge to kill said cheerleader was already at Code Orange, and if she continued it would no doubt go higher. Heck, by now, the little witch probably spilled the big news to her cheer-mates.

She could just imagine the serious stink-eye that she would get from the rest of the girls... _and Tara._

Then again, maybe it wasn't worth all of the trouble.

Kim glanced at the cheerleader uniform in her locker. Perhaps it'd be just better for her to sit out the rest of the day... heck, maybe the rest of the week. The exit was just a few meters away to the right of her and the locker room was directly to the left. Like a certain Mary J. Blige album, Kim didn't want anymore drama today. Thus, the logical way to go would be to the right.

Right?

* * *

Oy, he was late again.

What was the word 'late' spelled backwards? Ah, yes. Etal.

As Ron Stoppable hauled copious amounts of butt to change into his uniform. He had enough responsibilities of being a high school junior, on top of being a world-defending crusader's... sidekick, but sometimes he felt that while the cheerleading mascot gig was great, he would gladly trade it in for a couple of precious hours of downtime.

Downtime would be nice... but, then he thought of the girls.

And then the cheer uniforms, which consisted of short skirts and exposed midriffs; which were followed by the pom-poms.

And then, the thought of Kim in that short skirt, with her midriff exposed... and those pom-poms

DIIIIIIIING! Twenty seconds of thought equals forty minutes of spontaneous reinvigoration! Let's see Red Bull do that! Ron dashed toward the gymnasium. He got there so quickly that to an bystander, it looked like the young blond of about sixteen had wiiiiiings.

But, no, it wasn't wings. It was just the return of less-than-wholesome pubescent thoughts. Not many people took notice of him as he took his usual position on the bleacher seats. A few minutes passed as Ron sat there. He wondered where Kim was at. She was almost never late.

He turned his attention away from watching the seven cheerleaders as they polished their new routines for the new school year. Where was she? He got up from his seat and walked toward the main exit.

"Hang on, take five girls," Bonnie, the squad's interim-acting captain, said before she took off. Moments later, before Ron could pull the door open, the brunette got in between him and his search, slamming the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asked Ron. Ugh, did Ron have to answer to this girl all the time? Seeing as how two women to answer to was more than enough.

"I'm trying to figure out where Kim went to. She's usually never late like this," Ron answered as politely as he could. "Now, if you'll excuse..."

"Who cares where she went? We have a routine to finish and we need you here!" She barked. Ron didn't relent.

"Since when do _need _me to finish practice?" He asked. The boy's patience with her was long over from hours of her annoyance.

"Since _now!_" Bonnie pressured, now physically placing herself between him and the door. "I'll tell you now, Stoppable. You leave out of here and you **will** regret it!"

"Right," he replied quietly. He turned away for a moment. Seriously, what foolish thing did he, Ron Stoppable, ever regret in his life? Well, other than telling that delectable red-haired girl how he might have felt a long time ago? Yeah, that was probably the only thing… that, and the fact that he saw Hancock.

Hancock. Most definitely regrettable without a shadow of a doubt.

He turned toward the door and Bonnie, who was still blocking it. As gently as he could, he jerked the tanned girl away from door, much to the cheerleader's surprise. As he ventured out into the empty halls, he almost chuckled in spite of the situation. Imagine him choosing between a room full of teenage girls wearing next to nothing, jumping and gyrating all about the place and his best friend.

…definitely the right decision!

It was Kim, for crying out loud! He couldn't just give her up… or let her down. And he most assuredly wasn't going to run around and desert her!

**_(Wait, did Tales of The Awkward just get Rick-Roll'd?)_**

"Who does he think he is?" A peeved Bonnie asked to anyone who would listen. She didn't expect Ron to do what he did. Everyone is supposed to listen to her, darn it!

"Grrr, come on, girls. Let's finish up." She told the rest of the cheerleaders. While no one really had a complete answer for the question that Bonnie posed, Tara had an idea. Ron didn't care who Bonnie was or what she stood for... the only thing he cared about was Kim... even after all she did. And if he could forgive that girl so readily, so could she.

Ron was still a quite guy, Tara thought with a wistful sigh. It was just a shame that she couldn't make him hers. But if they ever fell through... look out.

* * *

OK, if Ron was going to find where Kim disappeared to, he had to stock up on some serious snackage first. No use conducting a search on an empty stomach. Luckily for him, his favorite fast food shack was a block or two away. One he stepped foot inside good Bueno Nacho, he inhaled the sweet smell of fried meat and flat bread being cooked up just for him. Yes! Just for him!

He strolled on up to the cashier, ready to order his usual; Chimmerito & A Naco; 955 calories worth of pure bliss. After he ordered, he scanned across the small shack of a restaurant, he noticed a figure sitting in a booth that was usually reserved to himself and Kim. Well... it didn't have their names weren't on the booth so to speak, but they always sat there. He took his tray full of eats along with him to the occupied booth... or at least close enough to it so he could see who was there. Heck, maybe it was someone he didn't expect.

And it was... "Kim?" He nearly gasped at the sight of the redhead. He didn't mean to ask the obvious, but he went ahead and did it anyway as she whirled around to face him. "What are you doing here?"

Now Kim usually had a reason for everything she did and an answer for every question that was asked of her. This time, not exactly. "Hiding?" She replied, a sheepish grin tattooed on her face.

"Hiding, from what?" He asked, taking a seat next to her.

The heroine's mind began racing once her best friend sat next to her. This was odd; Ron usually sat across from her, never right next to her in their booth.

Kim sighed. "Everyone," she answered. "Come on, I'll tell you the whole story." She took a hold of the boy's hand and led him out of the restaurant.

"Whoa, K.P.!" He countered as he stopped her. "You can't tell me here? A-and, I've got a perfectly piping hot chimmerito and a naco waiting for me."

The redhead rolled her eyes. If there was one thing that always kept them from intelligent conversation, it was junk food.

OK... after the piping hot, scrumptious naco and chimmerito was consumed, Kim and Ron continued on their merry way. Ron did take notice that his best chum has remained quiet for most of their walk through the quiet Middleton streets.

"Uh... KP, what's wrong?" He asked. "You still haven't told me why you didn't show up at practice."

Hmph. He didn't feel like listening when he was inhaling his naco...

"You didn't hear all the stuff the other kids in school were saying about me?" She asked.

Ron took a quizzical look "Whoa... wait... all that stuff... they were talking about you?"

Kim rolled her eyes._ Classic Ron: Sweet boy... but as observant as a tree stump._

"Yeah, they were." She replied. "I know I'm not supposed to care about rumors and reputation... but it's been going on four days straight..."

"They'll forget about it," Ron tried to console her.

"Have _you _forgotten about what happened that night?" She turned to face him.

Well... it was pretty hard to forget that night. He sighed. "I try to not think about it." He smiled almost too toothily. Boldly, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "I mean, you save the world almost on weekly basis, they'll forgive you."

Kim didn't know whether it was his arm around her, or his silly smile, or a combination of his actions and his words, but she felt much more reassured. She knew everything he said was true, but it just sounded better coming from him more than anyone else she could think of.

"Say, Ron… don't take this the wrong way or anything… but I've got another question."

"Sure," he replied. "Shoot."

Kim was a bit hesitant to ask, but she went ahead with it anyway. "Do you forgive for what I did?"

Heavy… The sidekick looked toward the sky thoughtfully as if it was going to give him a precise, concise answer.

"I don't know, K.P." He began. "I mean, you lied to me, you invaded my privacy, and stalked me in a jealous rage… I mean, you totally torpedoed your reputation and you greatly jeopardized the nature of our friendship by a hundred fold…"

Ron took a look toward Kim's direction and saw that the girl's eyes were brimming with tears that threatened to fall at a moment's notice. OK… Ron thought… _so _not the time for levity.

"But, yeah… of course I forgive you!" He exclaimed quickly, throwing his arms around the girl.

He wanted Kim to know that he was serious about his forgiveness of her, so he squeezed her a bit tighter as the moments continued on. A nagging thought slapped at him as he held her and as she held right back. _Now, was the time, the voice told him._

"Ron... thank you," The redhead whispered, still in his arms.

Better time than any! Do it now! The voice continued to urge.

Ron took a deep breath before he opened his mouth again.

"In fact," Ron said as he held his friend for much longer than probably either one of them could imagined. "I was hoping that next Friday, I'd have to a chance to..." his nerve was cracking like a criminal under the hot light, but he still bought himself to look into those green eyes. "...show you how much I forgive you."

Kim's eyes widened to dinner plate proportions. Did he just say what she thought he had said? She pushed the boy away from her, and rubbed her eyes, just to see if what Ron said wasn't a product of some drive-by daydream.

It couldn't be. Could it? The confused look on his face... the way he was still holding her seconds ago. It just couldn't be!

"Ron Stoppable, are you asking me out?" She squeaked. The girl was dumbfounded, yet delighted at the same time.

* * *

_User Account Control: _

An identified program wants to have access to you.

_The program 'Ron Stoppable' (rstop32.exe) is asking for access to go out on a date with you. (kp65.exe)_

_Cancel (R) / or Allow (A)?_

* * *

Ron labored, and struggled, and grappled with his inner apprehensions. Heck, he got this far, why the heck not? It had been nearly nine months since this whole thing started. And to him, it felt as if it was more than **two years and counting.**

"Yes, Ms. Possible, " He answered, all fear seeming to leave his person for that very moment. He reached for any object with ballast to maintain his balance. "Ye-ee-s, I am," he trilled.

His answer came in the form of Kim's signature oxygen-trapping embraces. "Of course!" She said with the biggest smile he'd quite possibly seen on her face.

Well... that certainly changes everything. And even though anxiety just about gripped every capillary in his body... things just certain got a lot more interesting. In spite of his abdomen still doing the belly flops, he couldn't help to let expression warm as Kim practically skipped down the street.

Well, at least Kim was feeling better.

* * *

End of Chapter 15.


	20. Date Versus Destiny: The First Stanza

**Special Disclaimer: Don LaFontaine was _not_ on hand to deliver this promo. RIP, big guy.  
**

--

_In a world where instability and unpredictability reigned supreme..._

--

He whirled around to see Kim... Fully clothed. The sidekick let out a lengthy exhale. The apocalypse wasn't occurring... At least not now.

"Eh... Nothing, KP. I was just waiting for you to uh... Not be naked."

--

"So, if you think if I just be me... they'll like me?" Ron asked.

Kim placed a hand on the uncertain boy's shoulder "Well, _I _like you..."

Oopsy.

"You know... as a friend." Kim quickly said afterward.

--

_...it had finally happened..._

--

"In fact," Ron said as he held his friend for much longer than probably either one of them could have imagined. "I was hoping that this Friday, I'd have to a chance to..." his nerve was cracking like a criminal under the hot light. "...show you how much I forgive you."

Kim's eyes widened to dinner plate proportions. Did he just say what she thought he had said? She pushed the boy away from her, and rubbed her eyes, just to see if what Ron said wasn't a product of some drive-by daydream.

"Ron Stoppable, are you asking me out?" She squeaked. The girl was dumbfounded, yet delighted at the same time.

Ron labored, and struggled, and grappled with his inner apprehensions. Heck, he got this far, why the heck not? It had been nearly nine months since this whole thing started. And to him, it felt as if it was more than **two years and counting.  
**

"Yes, Ms. Possible, " He answered, all fear seeming to leave his person for that very moment. He reached for any object with ballast to maintain his balance. "Ye-ee-s, I am," he trilled.

--

_And now, after months and months of blushing, discomfort amongst the duo, jealousy and outrageous references to baseball, it's time for Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable to go..._

--

"OK... Ron. You've gone this far. You're a man... almost. You're sixteen, now. That's what the calendar said three days ago..." He paced fervently once again. "Just take two steps to the door. Two steps toward... maturity?" He puffed his chest and let out a strong exhale. Boy, this wasn't going to be easy. Then again, there was always difficulty involved when one was going out of his own house.

--

"I know this is weird. _Too_ weird. _ Ferociously_ weird," the worldwide do-gooder Kim Possible said to her own reflection in the mirror. "But... whatever happens, it can't be wrong, could it?"

Kevin Arnold & Winnie Cooper would beg to differ.

--

_...on their first date!_

--

**_"IT IS NOT A DATE!"_** both of them yelled to their respective parents.

--

_Okay... so maybe it wasn't a date. Join Kim Possible and her BFF, Ron Stoppable as they attempt to take their friendship to the next level... or die trying!_

--

"We're going to die?" A fearful Ron asked. They were seated together on the couch in the Possible home, hopefully not for the last time in their teenage lives. T-they had so much to live for. Like... playing Grand Theft Auto 22! Or... gaining gamma ray-related superpowers... or even end up on the cover of a trash tabloid.

"No, we're not going to die," Kim answered in an attempt to console to young man. "...I hope."

--

_It's Tales of The Awkward; Date Versus Destiny... and this time,** IT'S FOR REAL.** _

_Well, as real as a fanfic could get, anyway.  
_

* * *

Tales of The Awkward: Chapter 16; Date Versus Destiny (The First Stanza)

_Yeeeeeaaaaah, BWOY!_

* * *

_5:32:22_

_Game time._

_What time is this?!_

_Game time!_

_What time is this?!_

_GAME TIME!_

_WE GON' LET THE DOGS OUT?_

_WOOF-WOOF-WOOF-WOOF-WOOF!!_

* * *

5:38:19

The day was long. The anticipation was much longer. Heck, longer than a Lord of The Rings flick. But, finally, the broiling sun decided to make its descent beyond the horizon. No one particularly knew how long the town of Middleton had been underneath this freak heatwave, that was to be sure. Every resident, however, knew that the temperature was to be hot from sunup until sundown. However, a different type of heat was beginning to build, and this one didn't have any sunrise or sunset... well, not for the past half-a-year anyway...

Ron Stoppable knew that nothing in this world was perfect, which meant tonight, of course, for the first time in the history in the world, he would attempt to accomplish the feat of being perfect. After all, for this whole... he dared not call it a date. Call it a get-together, hangout, or even a shindig, but a date, never that! Dates were for two people who knew what they saw in each other, not two uncomfortable teens who were more friends than crushes. What Ron was in for was going to be either a gold standard hallmark in which two friends could never become anything more than that, or... or...

He paused for a beat. What if the opposite came out of this? Maybe this whole thing wasn't going to be a disaster. No... it wasn't going to be a disaster. Heck, his last date wasn't a disaster, so why should this one be? He had to stop being an angst-ridden worry-wart and start going about his business with confidence!

_I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And, doggone, it, people like me. _

Thanks, Stewart.

"What do you say, Rufus?" He asked his naked-mole rat.

The diminutive rodent raised two thumbs up in approval. If only he had the confidence that Rufus did. Well, it wasn't very hard to not be confident and be naked... but that's just grasping at straws.

"OK... Ron. You've gone this far. You're a man... almost. You're sixteen, now. Well... at least since Tuesday, you are..." He paced fervently once again. "I mean, you like K.P., and K.P. likes you... she did kinda kiss you on the cheek slowly that day..." Of course, that proved very little to Ron. "Just take two steps to the door. Two steps toward... maturity?" He puffed his chest and let out a strong exhale. Boy, this wasn't going to be easy. Then again, there was always difficulty involved when one attempting to turn a doorknob to one's own room.

He shut his eyes and visualized the worst. What, precisely, was the worst that could happen?_ OK, Yes, his trousers could drop at the very second he went in for a goodnight kiss, or he could spill either an anonymous condiment or liquid refreshment in Kim's lap, and generally make a total ass of himself, but the law of averages say that's gonna happen anyway._

The blond turned the doorknob to his destiny... to his date with destiny. The young man's confidence restored, he chugged on down the stairs, hoping that his parents wouldn't question him about his upcoming whereabouts. But, at the bottom of the staircase and there in the living room sat both his dad and mom, watching a movie of some sort. On cue, they both turned toward the source of the footsteps that pounded down the stairs.

"Where are you off to, son?" His dad asked, an eyebrow raised in curiosity.

Now, the television set (In all its unlimited teaching power) warned him that if he told his folks that he was on the precipice of a date with his best friend, then said parents would blow immediately the entire thing out of proportion, complete with talk of marriage, grandchildren and, dear God, the heart-to-heart about the birds and the bees on top of an entire host of subjects that Ron didn't have the time, comfort nor patience to think, much less talk about. So, he kept his answer short, sweet and unsuspecting.

"Going over to Kim's," He replied. "Just gonna chill over there for a while." It didn't take but two seconds for him to start feeling the self-imposed heat. "You know, like we usually do."

"Dressed up like that?" His mother asked. "Why, you're hair is combed!" She marveled. "You're wearing a clean shirt that I bought you! You're wearing slacks, and..." She paused and sniffed in his direction as if she picked up a scent. "...is that cologne I smell?"

Gutted.

"I think he's going to Kim's to do more than just chill," Mr. Stoppable hinted to his wife.

Both of them exchanged glances at one another, then beamed at him. _Oh, no. Here it comes._

"I always knew Kimberly-Anne liked our boy. I mean, whenever she asked him to go with her on those ludicrous missions..." His mother blabbed.

"Never doubted it for a moment," Mr. Stoppable chimed in.

Serious embarrassment washed over the young man like a fine bar of Lever 2000. If what they were saying was so elementary about Kim and himself, how come it wasn't simple as, say... turning a doorknob? As his parents came toward him, undoubtedly with questions and suggestion on their minds and thoughts of grandchildren in their eyes, Ron had one thought in his mind that was relevant... make like Cee-Lo Green and _**RUN!**_

And out the door he went.

* * *

5:44:10

She couldn't believe that it had finally come to this. And not in a bad way, either.

The Sun just about ready to set, but Kim Possible's skittishness wouldn't seem to fall.

She could do this. She could anything humanly possible. She was a Possible, after all. It just seemed so ironic that out of the Josh Mankey's, Robert Johnson's and Vincent Vinson's of the world, the redhead had most of her pre-game jitters about a boy that she knew most of her life. Then again, said boy that she knew for most of life, didn't really see her like this until rather recently, and vice versa.

Hm, it seemed like a great idea when he asked her last week.

Wait... it still is. It was as if a gigantic weight of awkward was lifted off of her shoulders. Heck, it had been a week or so afterward and she hadn't been riled up enough to throttle Bonnie... yet.

Still, there was just this nervous excitement about her on this early evening. There was an air of unpredictability about what was to happen. Like, at the end of the night, everything could go back to normal between them, or things could escalate... like, _maybe _to the tune of them kissing passionately underneath the starlit night... like right out of a romantic comedy... or a contrived fanfic. Or, then again, this entire thing could get shot down straight to the murky depths right from jump street, much like the New England Patriots' season.

**_(It should be noted here that S-Chrome spent hours upon hours trying to cope with his newfound maturity and not gloat at the second-best 18-1 team there ever was, but failed miserably.)_**

Time was slipping by, and she did ask Ron to come over by 6, and that was about... say, thirteen minutes away. She gave a peer into her reflection before she went downstairs. She figured that the right way to go about things was to take things as they come with Ron. No sudden moves or... coming on too strong. Everything should go fine this night... although, it'd get kind of hairy if Ron wanted to go to the movies.

_'Stupid Middleton Multiplex... 90-day ban from the facility for disorderly conduct. What a crock of...'_

An opening of the front door broke the redhead from her hate-filled thoughts of what was a fine cinema establishment. In from the warmth of the late summer sun stepped in her dad, who didn't look his chipper self at all.

"Hey, dad," she greeted uneasily.

"Oh, hey, Kimmie-cub," he replied with little emotion.

"Bad day?" Kim asked.

"You wouldn't believe it. One disaster after another," he answered. "First, the head of the department told us the funding for the exploratory committee was cut in half two weeks after we started... two of our interns went to the hospital with second-degree burns, and for the second time in three weeks the guys in accounting messed up the staff's paychecks..." he began pacing, frustration rising from each step... he looked as if he was going to explode any minute. "Sometimes being a rocket scientist is a big--"

He was about to let loose one of those seven dirty words that you couldn't say on television... or in a reputable fan-fic, but he did keep in mind that his teenage daughter was in the room with him... for if she wasn't, he would've let it fly out the holster like you wouldn't believe. Instead, he showed a bit of adult-caliber restraint and began the unwinding process.

"So, how's my Kimmie-cub?" He asked, retaining his fatherly warmness.

Now, it wouldn't exactly be in her best interest to spring the fact that she was to go out a date... much less with Ron. So, she decided to go the way of the professionals... with inane gibberish.

"Oh, I'm fine. It was such a nice day today... it was really humid, but it was nice. You could feel the sun's **rays **beaming on you**, **the **rays **were just so bright... I mean, you can doubt a lot of things, but you can't doubt the** rays... **and the crazy thing about it is that there's many different types of **rays**... gamma **rays, **alpha **rays, **the **ray **that's half of a radius..."

**(Can you take the hint?)**

"Um, Kimmie?"

"Yes, daddy?"

"What are you babbling about?" Her dad asked, bewildered beyond belief.

Oh, what the hey, she may as well tell him. It wasn't like he could ground her until she graduated from high school... she had plenty of dates before... and besides, she was already a junior and with a bit of extra work, she could get enough credits to graduate by Apr...

Oh, right... back to telling dad.

"Yeaaah," she began. "I'm kinda nervous about tonight... 'cause I've kinda got a date."

"Well... that's nice," he spoke slowly... as if he was taking her words with a tall glass of liquid glycerol. Still, he appeared to compose himself with this news being sprung on him. "Hope you have a good time."

She smiled at him brightly. He already saw the buttering up coming.

"Yes, yes... just be back by 11."

"I will, thanks again, da--"

"But, just out of curiosity, who are you going on this date with?"

It was definitely a worthy question... he just couldn't leave his virtuous teenage daughter in the hands of some vagrant young boy... absolutely no chance in... heck.

"Welll..." Kim stalled.

Before the last 'L' could be slurred from Kim's mouth, the door opened and in stepped a well-dressed Ron Stoppable. Both eyes turned toward him, one of delight and the other of absolute horror.

Guess which one was which.

"Hey, K.P.! Hey, Mister Doctor..."

Mr. Possible stared just about a hole through the nattily-dressed young man, his eyes wild with disturbance. It didn't take  
a rocket scientist to figure out that Ron was this mystery man... and ironically, the same young man that he tabbed as the only one he could fully trust with to be alone his daughter. And... and now... they were going out on a date... together? He looked on in despair as Kim left the couch to greet who he thought was just her best friend... but ended up just being a garden variety teenage boy with obvious_ teenage boy hormones_... just like the rest of them.

_"Et tu, Ronicus?"_

He didn't notice Kim plant a kiss on his cheek and the traitorous scoundrel waving his goodbyes as they left the house. He immediately needed to take action on this. James Timothy Possible would be absolutely remiss if he let he let his daughter go forth with that... treasonous wretch of a boy. He always had his suspicions about that Ronald, and now his doubts about him were realized. Sure, he had his sweater and his cargo pants and unkempt hair, but somewhere behind that veneer stood a rebel without a cause. An untamed spirit that had no respect for structure and authority.

And he probably wore a leather jacket too.

The middle-aged man bolted to the attic and grabbed his trusty _**SHOTGUN! **_With the powerful weapon in his hand he ventured onto the roof of his home with a newfound resolve and a finely-tuned promise for his daughter's treacherous best friend-turned-love interest...

...either he bought his Kimmie-cub home at approximately 10:59PM... or, it would be Armageddon for Ronald Stoppable.

_Armageddon! Nothing less than Armageddon!  


* * *

_

End of Part 1


	21. Date Versus Destiny: The Second Stanza

_Tales of The Awkward Presents: Seven Burning Questions_

**_1. _**_How long will it take for Ron Stoppable to screw something up... and if he does screw things up, how embarrassing will it get?_

**_2. _**_Can world-defending heroine Kimberly-Anne Possible not see where the up-and-down roller coaster is going to end up... or will she, like a New York Knick 50-loss season, see it coming from a mile away?_

**_3. _**_If said teen heroine and sidekick muster the fortitude to get together, would it be a bigger craze than Bella & Edward, except better written and less predictable?_

**_4. _**_At the end of said date, will Mr. Dr. P. carry out his murderous, yet somewhat virtuous plot and end the lives of all his daughter's potential suitors? And if so, can he plead insanity and somehow get away with cold-blooded homicide?_

**_5. _**_If one really sucked at Guitar Hero, would that make them a Guitar Zero or a Guitar Villain?_

**_6._**_ In the event of S-Chrome's unlikely, yet eventual incapacitation due to men in white coats hauling him off to Creedmoor and/or Arkham, who has the psychological discipline to continue the proud and constantly overdue Tales of The Awkward name? And if so, will they get chapters done in less than 90 days?_

**_7_**. _Who exactly watches the watchmen?_

_

* * *

_

Tales of The Awkward: Date vs. Destiny (The Second Stanza)

_...aaaaaand ACTION!_

* * *

6:18:13

By some miracle, Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable managed to leave the Possible home without further shotgun-related incident. In the late afternoon sun, both teenagers marveled at the fact that a heatwave was still going on in Middleton. Still, for Ron Stoppable, he felt hot underneath the collar for reasons well beyond the blazing temperature.

"Did you see the way he was looking at me? He's so going to kill me when we get back," he groused as he attempted to fan himself by puttering around with the front of his shirt.

"He's not going to kill you, Ron," Kim Possible said to her date.

"You don't understand, Kim," he complained, cutting her off. "I mean, he was practically shooting me in the chest with hate rays."

_Hate rays?_

"Ron, you're just being paranoid..." She tried to counter but to no avail.

"No-no-no!" He plaintively raised his voice a bit as they continued walking down the quiet block. "I could see it in his eyes, Kim. He probably thinks that I'm just like any other boy," he continued, his eyes darting toward the street. "He's probably waiting on top of the roof of your house, Kim... waiting to pick me off after I drop you off, and..."

That's quite an astute evaluation.

"Ron!" She stopped him and took the boy by the shoulders and shook him silly. "You're being ridiculous... _again_."

Ron scrunched up his nose at the assessment of his psyche. Surely, he worries about the conclusion of the date was rational and not ridiculous...weren't they?

"First of all, Ron, he's not going to kill you... I won't let him," she flashed him a rather flirtatious grin... maybe a bit too flirtatious for his liking. Still he allowed her continue. "Second, dad can think about you any way he wants, but you'll never be just another ordinary boy to me."

Wait, was that a bad or good thing? No, seriously! He then gazed at the magnanimous expression on her face, and... well, it didn't seem like a slight in any way, and more of an... extremely flattering comment coming from the redhead. His face flushed momentarily as her eyes, seemingly sparkling, set upon his. It really didn't help Ron knowing how attractive his best friend looked in the Autumn sunset until that very moment... his breath quickly ragged and in classic awkward fashion, he sifted a hand through his blond hair.

Despite the warm, and maybe knowing glance of Kim's face, it appeared to Ron that one of those shared moments that came right out of a romantic comedy was taking place right now. Just like that, his nervousness seemed to ebb away and a quiet sense of confidence took over. The time was right, and his date was looking as beautiful as ever... with a smile that could only be described as heavenly. Ever since the entire awkward business began, and especially after their spar sessions, he always wondered what Kim's lips tasted like... and what better time than now to get a spankin' taste test.

As he drew closer, he was delighted to see that her eyes were closing... signaling to him that she was actually expecting this. Boo to the Yah!

Inches. Centimeters. Millimeters. Heaven's Gate... 'bout to open up wide for the Ronster.

And then...

"Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep!"

Both sets of eyes opened and gazed upon that darn apparatus that so callously broke their moment.

The Kimmunicator. _Again!?_

_

* * *

_

**_Score:_**

**_Destiny 1, Date 0 (On a gorgeous stop by a known electronic device. 4th & Long for the Date.)_**

* * *

Ron wanted to smack Wade silly. He wanted to scream to the heavens about this close call, among others... if there was any need for the young man to **_Plaxico_**² himself, now would be one of those times. It seemed as though every time he and Kim were about to get closer, something or someone would put themselves in between them, and this particular one happened to be the most maddening of them all.

'I mean, damn,' Ron cursed. 'Who writes this stuff, anyway?'

Just then, a young man in his early 20's or so walked past the couple, shrugged his shoulders, and continued his aimless journey.

Naturally, Ron found himself to be far too annoyed and/or cursing his fate to listen into what she and Wade were conversing about. He would have thought that Kim would have turned the Kimmunicator for this night. No such luck. Apparently, saving the world is more important than, well, everything. He was too engrossed in his personal torture to listen in on what information Wade was imparting to Kim.

"Are you sure, Wade? It's just that I'm kinda busy right now."

"You're busy?" He queried as Ron stepped over to Kim's side.

"I'm kind of on a date, Wade."

"You are? Then what's Ron doing there with you?"

**_BURN!_**

Ohhhh, if Ron could reach through that communication device and throttle the freaking heck of Wade right now... he could die a happy man. Successful date or not.

Ignoring the red-haired young woman's almost stunned expression, he continued. "Still, it's very urgent that you go ahead with this."

She glanced at him as if her hands were tied. Ron figured if he went along with whatever Kim mission she needed to go through with, it'd go a long way toward brownie points at the end of their date. Speaking of brownies… boy brownies would sound good right about now.

Besides, as his thoughts made the trip back to relevance, given the opportunity, he'd follow her anywhere... kind of like a friendly stalker.

Hm, good thing he didn't say that out loud.

"What are we waiting for, let's go!" He said, grabbing her by the shoulder onto their destination.

* * *

_Definition of the day:_

_To **Plaxico** oneself is to shoot yourself in the foot... or leg, in a metaphorical fashion... or to just actually shoot yourself in the foot or leg. Named after idiot New York Giant receiver decided to be a stereotype and kill what was sure to be a repeat reign as Super Bowl Champions for the aforementioned Giants, and naturally got himself a two-year sentence in the hoosegow._

**(Not that S-Chrome is bitter or anything.)**

_Syn: Chedda-Bobbing, etc..._

* * *

6:38:19:

The Possible Abode  
Middleton, United States of America  
Near-sundown  
_  
Did you get that thing I sent ya?  
Did you get that thing I sent ya?  
Did you get that thing I sent ya?_

There were a multitude of things that an accomplished brain surgeon like Dr. Anne Possible had to deal with during the course of a normal day. Heck, it kind of came with the territory. But, when she saw her doting husband on the rooftop of her home with a shotgun in his hand with a rather perturbed expression on his face. Still, knowing that the bizarre things that happened within the household, she decided to just take this in stride like she would any situation she would face in the home or at work.

"...Honey? What are you doing up there?"

"Oh, hi, hon," he replied merrily. "I'm just getting some R&R, you know? Just catching a bit of fresh air."

"With a shotgun in your hand?" She asked, an eyebrow cocked.

"Oh, this?" He asked. "While I'm here I may as well as keep watch over the place. You know, a man's home is his castle."

Facepalm in 3... 2... 1...

"All right, who's Kim out with?"

"You're not going to believe it this time..." He began, clutching his shotgun.

* * *

6:48: Somewhere Near The Upperton & Middleton Border:

Urgent?

This was urgent?

Foreigner & Lou Gramm were urgent. The need to expose Rod Blagojevich, his corruption, and his infamous rug were urgent. Urgent was the need for Stephanie Meyer to actually attain some basic writing skills. This... this... was the complete opposite of urgent.

Rescuing cats from trees were not Ron Stoppable's vision of urgency... especially when he had to do the rescuing. Of course, Kim was far more athletically inclined to rescue a cat, but something about wearing dresses and climbing trees or something or the other. Sure, she looked good in it... well, really good... well... kind of smoking hot. As he climbed from branch to branch, he had a distinct notion that someone, most likely the youngest member of Team Possible, was trying to sabotage this whole 'Kim 'n her faithful buddy Ron on a date' thing.

The cat screeched as the blond reached for it. Ron soon screeched as well for he'd been scratched by said cat. Badly.

As he pulled back his forearm, which was most likely bleeding due to said cat scratching the ever-loving heck out of it, he found it ironic that in the future, the first time meeting the pre-teen computer genius known as Wade, would likely be the last time.

Meanwhile, at the very same time, in a dimly lit room that doubled as everything technological that you could think of, a certain computer genius watched Ron struggle to get the cat out of tree with much enjoyment.

Yeah, he was quite the stinker, wasn't he?

Meanwhile, back at the ranch... rather the tree. The feline's owner thanked Ron for saving her fur-ball with steak-knife sharp claws. And, with that said and done, scratched-up sidekick and teen heroine continued their date... going to.. that place that they were going to. By the time that they reached the sixth block away from said scratching incident

"Um, Ron? Where are we going exactly?"

"I thought you had everything planned out," he countered.

Emerald-green eyes rolled toward the setting sky above her. Wow, did he expect her to take charge of everything? Not that there was anything wrong with that... well, there was a little bit. Theoretically, they were on a date, and they literally had no idea of where they were going. He was the one who asked her out last week... and he didn't make any plans between then and now?

In short, it seemed like something Ron would do.

"So... eh, how about a movie... or something?" He questioned.

"Sorry, no can do," she replied... hoping that Ron wouldn't question as to why not.

"Why not?"

Oh, well... inquisitive minds usually wanted to know. Unless it involved a certain steroid user

"Remember _that _Friday night?" She asked him. She felt as if she something or someone wasn't going to let her forget about all the misdeeds she committed that night...

**(And as long as S-Chrome was the sole author of this fic, she definitely would not.)**

Ron nodded, not quite eager to hear another one of his date's stalking-related follies.

"Yeaaah, I kinda got banned from the Multiplex, excessive noise," she explained, shamefaced. "Ninety days."

"Dang, KP. What was going through your head that night?"

She sighed. She figured she had to bare all about what was going through her gourd that night; every last sordid, and somewhat twisted detail.

"Ron, have you ever been afraid of losing something that's important to you?"

"Well, yeah... kind of," Ron answered in earnest. "I mean, I don't know what I'd do if I lost Rufus, or.."

"That's kind of how I felt when you went on a date with Tara," she quickly said. "I mean, what if you two really hit it off? I know we've been friends forever, but I just thought… maybe… " She turned away from him, feeling as vulnerable as ever. "I'd lose you, Ron."

See, while others blame it on the a-a-a-a-al-alcohol, Kim blames it on an irrational fear of losing her best friend. Now where are the naysayers who think the truth doesn't set one free as a bird?

Perhaps sensing her susceptibility, but still not exactly sure of himself, he faced Kim.

"Aw, come on, K.P. How long has it been, eleven years?"

"Twelve years," she corrected.

"Ah, yeah, twelve. Heh, heh," he shook his head. "What I'm trying to say is that it doesn't matter if this," he gulped. "d-date thing works out or not, or who's dating who, and what happens after tonight, you'll never lose me, Kim."

She smiled. "Never?"

With a voice as reassuring as Danny Tanner, had he not been such a vile-talking comedian, he answered without hesitation. "Yeah. Well, unless the Naco takes a human form."

It was her turn to shake her head. Only Ron could convince her that her head was in the wrong place, reassure her that everything was going to be all right, and think about greasy fast-food taking on a human form in one breath. Taking Ron's hand, they continued to walk together down the quiet block, the immediate future they knew not what, but it was guaranteed to be at the very least a rather interest night.

"So, K.P.? Where _are _we going?" Ron asked.

Even more interesting once they knew where they were going.

* * *

End of Part 2

Many things have changed for S-Chrome since the last installment of these Tales of Awkward. For one, recently my dear old dad, the somewhat well-known artist, Mr. H-Chrome passed away early last month. He always wanted to me write as much as possible, so this part is dedicated to him.

Secondly, I declared war on college for the second time, so he hasn't found many oodles of time to update his fics. I'm thinking there's somewhat of a lynch mob waiting for this update, and if those two guys didn't get a timely update, they were going to burn me alive. Writing under pressure in the best thing ever, wouldn't you say?

Question? Comments? Complaints that the New York Yankees won the World Series?

Hang on, let me gloat a little bit…

HA!

Ah, anyway, hit that small, green review button and whatnot, and hang on for the final chapter of the overlong Tales of The Awkward, coming… whenever it's coming.

S-C


	22. Date Versus Destiny: The Third Stanza

**Mrs. Dr. Possible's Sensitivity Training: Session One**

"S-so, what you're saying is that in the long run, it will be beneficial for Kim to date boys."

"Precisely."

"However, if I was to continuously shun her dates, and threaten gun violence against the boys she's taken a liking to, there's an outside chance of her becoming rebellious and resentful of me, even though I'm only trying to look for her and know what's best for her."

"Sometimes she has to find that out for herself, Jim."

"But teenage boys these days are..."

"You were a teenage boy too once, Jim."

"Your point being?"

"You had strange feelings and your hormones started getting the better of you too. I'm sure you did."

"That's not how I remember it. I was a straight-arrow all the way through."

"Oh?" The Possible matriarch questioned. "I remember a couple of lab partners who decided to begin dating, and a father of a certain lab partner who held said lab partner at gunpoint..."

"It was a learning experience for me! What's wrong with that?" Mr. Possible asked, still clutching his trusty 12-gauge.

Anne shook her head. Sometimes her husband was so clueless, even at an adult age.

* * *

Tales of The Awkward: Date vs. Destiny: The Final Stanza I

(_Ah, Can't you feel the finality of it all?_)

* * *

6:52:12

So, where were they going?

It seemed as though they were ambling about the Middleton-Upperton border for twenty minutes. Kim was a tad peeved that the evening was being wasted away on just walking around. One saving grace was the fact that she took a few moments to look Ron over. He cleaned up pretty nice, upon further review. She wondered why he didn't dress this well often. It may not be his cup of tea, but she wouldn't mind seeing him in those threads more often.

She momentarily stopped when she realized that she was gawking at the boy.

Checking Ron out? Who could've ever imagined this? Well, considering he was kind of looking in her general direction in detention a couple of weeks ago, it was only fair that she do the same. Turnabout was fair play, and such. Speaking of turning... it was darn-near 7PM, and they couldn't even find a place to eat yet. Time was a-wasting and time was nothing to waste.

She grabbed Ron's hand and started toward their destination.

"Wait, KP. Where are we going?"

"You'll see," she simply answered.

Well, at least something was happening. Ron was willing to go along with it, even if the answer was vague. Just along as the place wasn't overly expensive... he did only have 60 bucks on him.

More allowance or a job... definitely a necessity going forward.

* * *

**Mrs. Dr. Possible's Sensitivity Training: Session Two**

"I'm still not understanding your hostility, Jim," the brain surgeon-turned-pinch-hitting shrink told her fanatically protective husband as they continued to converse about the ins and outs of threatening teenage boys and it's harmful long-lasting effects on their daughter. The rocket scientist sat on a reclining chair-turned-Psychiatrist's as he digested his wife's questioning of his self-righteous motives.

"It's not hostility," the ever-defiant patriarch corrected. "It's concern. I'm not understood why you're not as concerned about boys as well."

Concern? He keeps using that word...

"I'm not concerned because I know that boys and girls grow up eventually."

Hm, she was right about that. Darn his wife and her rationale.

"I mean, you do want grandchildren, don't you, James?"

"Sure, I'd love grandchildren, but isn't it a little early to be thinking about Jim & Tim?"

Another piece of paper was torn from the notebook and thrown in a nearby wastebasket. There was going to be a lot more sessions before a breakthrough took place.

* * *

7:14:12

Don't just show up at an upscale restaurant. _Arrive._

So, when Ron & Kim stepped foot in Sharpay's, Ron couldn't help but feel a bit threatened by the place. Dim lights, chefs with large white hats, and not even the faintest smell of Tex-Mex.

Boy, this was no Bueno Nacho. Nope, not at all.

You knew a restaurant was more than three stars when they didn't have to advertise it on television. The atmosphere was of something classy, a place where well-off folks would eat at while talking about everything and nothing in particular, and worse yet... a place where 60 bucks would just get your foot in the door.

"Ah, Kim Possible, right this way, my dear... how could I possibly not thank the savior of my restaurant from becoming a Burger King?" The owner gushed.

"It's no big," Kim countered. "That King guy soooo had it coming."

Ron surmised that he probably wasn't in on that mission... or anywhere in the vicinity.

"Right this way my dear, and everything is on the house, come along now."

Everything was on the house? Sweet! Ron was relieved to know that what little monies he had left are safe. Yes, the young man was kind of petty like that.

As they were led to their table, the sidekick took a peek at the patrons of this more than swanky eatery. People in suits. Adults who appear to be pretty darn well-off, and ultimately, people you wouldn't find at a local Bueno Nacho. Silence fell upon both of them when they got to their table.

Silence. People hate silence. And heck, if there was silence during a date, you were better off scooping six feet of the earth on the entire thing. But, to Ron, what exactly was there to talk about? He and Kim had known each other since the days of WMAC Masters... where that guy won the Dragon Star whatchamahouzlt. It wasn't like they were complete strangers eager to know every little detail about the other, because they knew already. If there was any mighty block that kept friendships from getting to the next level between a guy and his lady, it had to be too much familiarity. With that in mind, Ron decided to take charge and break the ice, the only way he knew how; Fault-finding.

"You know, if this..." he swallowed a heaping amount of saliva. "...date... isn't the way you envisioned it, I hope you concede that this is no fault of my own."

Where did that come from?

"What do you mean, Ron? Are you being paranoid again?"

"No, seriously, Kim. You know how this whole thing with you and me started? When I noticed you were a girl..."

"So you're saying you just noticed I was a girl a year and a half ago?

"You know what I mean. You've got you're..." He gestured to his midsection, signifying his friend's developed-(and still developing) figure. "And your... shampoo commercial hair, how am I not supposed to...?"

Once annoyed with Ron's tangents, Kim now found it amusing, usually because his rants weren't about anything relevant, but this had her interest piqued. "You're saying this is my fault?"

"How was I supposed to know you would grow up and out like this?"

"Like what?" She asked with her hands on hips. She was already demonstrating her growing up just by her pose at that very moment.

Ron sighed and pulled the chair from the table and offered it to Kim, who sat down. He sat down a moment later. Boy, Ron didn't want to describe what he saw in Kim, but there she was, expecting him to explain himself. Well, here goes nothing and everything at the same time...

"Have you looked in a mirror lately, Kim? You've got this flawless skin, bon-diggity eyes, and you're pretty enough to be in most maga..."

**(Hm, it appears as though Ron had blown his own spot. In effect, he just said what was on his mind for the last twenty chapters or so.)**

While Ron didn't lose his religion, he felt he said too much.

"What does that have to do with..."

It may have taken some time, but then the light-switch just came on...

"...you think I'm pretty, Ron?"

Not comfortable enough with verbally answering her question, he looked away from her and nodded.

Instead of a freaked-out face staring back at him, he found a smiling face gracing his eyes. He still felt that he needed to further explain how he felt. Hopefully, he could do it without having her look at him funny.

"I mean, it's just that I've never saw you that way before. And, you're still you; the nice person that I've always known, you know? You're an amazing girl, Kim. And, I guess I finally realized that."

Ron was surprised to see his date blushing... it was as if she didn't know how special she was, or at least to him.

Outside of her parents, Kim had never heard someone say something so sweet to her. It was no surprise to her that Ron would say something like that though. Recently he usually knew what to say to her to make her feel... rather tingly all over. She could tell that he meant everything he said, just like all the other times he would say comforting things to her in the past.

"What about you, Ron?"

"What about me? This is not on me. No, no, no..."

"You always say the right things to me, how am I supposed to not notice that? Whenever I'm feeling down in the dumps, and then you come along and I feel better. You've grown up too, Ron; Just in a different way." She smiled. "I think this whole awkward thing is your own fault."

Oh, sure... blame the hapless guy! Women!

Perhaps it was the fact the redhead's eyes were glued upon him that was making Ron uncomfortable. It's not as if the never sat in a restaurant before, but this was such a swanky place, with a candlelight in the middle of the table, and darn it, he wished Kim wouldn't stare at him like that. He tentatively sipped on a glass of water to cool his nerves.

"Besides, I'm sure you're growing out in other places too," she smirked.

It was at that point where the glass tumbled from Ron's unsteady hand and dropped into his lap. W-where did that come from? Was that more of this innuendo business?

"I-I..." the sidekick stumbled.

Kim gave him what looked like a teasing glance. All this flirting business was going to take a bunch of getting used to... and young Ron wasn't handling it very well at all.

"Uh, I've got to go to the bathroom. I'll be..." he trailed off as he got up from his seat. In his awkward haste, he tripped over the feet of the chair, crashed into an ongoing waiter and found himself on the finely carpeted floor, with some kind of entrée all over his shirt.

Smooth, Ron. Smooth.

* * *

**Destiny (Or, in this case, abject clumsiness) 2, Date 0.**

_There is still hope for the date... well, miracles do happen. But, how often does it happen?_

* * *

"Ron!" The redhead quickly got out of her seat to check on the fallen blond.

Hm, here was Ron thinking that he could manage to stick it out, and go forward in this endeavor. Yet, here he was, soaking wet from the waist down, and something that resembled escargot and tomato paste on his once-spiffy shirt. He didn't bother to respond to his date, got back up and trudged along to the washroom, despite the query from Kim.

Once inside, he did his best to clean off the residue off of his threads. As he took paper towels and scrubbed his clothes down, he looked in his reflection in the mirror.

'I can do this. I can do this.' He thought repeatedly.

He hung his head.

"I can't do this..."

"Like hell you can't!"

Wait, what? Did someone just say something?

Ron scanned from right to the left, and saw a man stood who looked to be in his early 20s with long brown hair and a somewhat angry expression on his face. Ron could've sworn that he was all alone in this bathroom... he figured that he must've been on the commode before he came in, but he that was an assumption for later. Right now, he just wanted to know why this strange guy was talking to him in such a way.

"So, you're just going to give up that easily, Ron Stoppable?" He asked.

"Hold up. You know who I am? Who are you?"

"So not important right now," the man avoided Ron's question. "What's important is that you not give up and you go back out there."

"W-why? You didn't even see what happened out there. It's not even 8 o'clock yet and I totally embarrassed myself out there," the sidekick shrugged his shoulders in defeat.

"It doesn't matter how many times you embarrass yourself, Ron. You gotta take the plunge, man."

"Why do you care so much, strange guy I've never met before?"

"I care because I don't want you to make the same mistake I did," the brown-haired man ordered.

"What mistake?"

"Well, a few years back in college, I too, had the caught the eye of a redhead, and let me tell you, young Ronald, she had it all. Smart, cute, funny... and I... well, gave up before anything happened."

Ron was riveted at the story, yet still confused.

"But what does that have to do with..."

"Uh, hello? Focus, Ron. Incredible redhead waiting outside for you and you're in a bathroom looking in a mirror!" He said, clearly exasperated with the young man. "If she didn't turn away from you from all of other embarrassing things you've done to yourself for the last decade or so, what makes you think she's going to turn away now?"

"Hey, you're right," Ron realized. But, how did this dude know that he's embarrassed himself multiple times throughout the years? Was this guy a stalker, or just a knowledgeable existential visiting his universe for the moment?

"Kim likes you. You like Kim. It's Cory and Topanga all over again, so just roll with it, dude!"

"Wait, how do you know...? And who are Cory and Top-"

"Oh, crap... said too much, gotta go!" The mysterious young man hastily said as he made an attempt to leave the lavatory.

"Wait, you never told me who you were," Ron exclaimed.

"You really want to know who I am, do you?"

Ron nodded.

"I-I am Batman..." in his haste to exit, he smashed his face into the bathroom door. "Uh... Batman of the Future," he said before running out of the bathroom.

Batman of the Future? Now that's just way out of left field, wasn't it? Still, what the strange man said to him did leave him determined to go back out there are pull it together. He gathered the bundle of nerves that he hung from the wastebasket moments ago and ambled his way back to the dining area. He found a concerned Kim sitting at their table. He wondered how he was going to explain his clumsiness. Well, more embarrassing clumsiness than usual, in this case.

"You took a nasty spill there, you OK?"

"Other than my pride, I'm fine."

"Guess this whole thing has you distracted, huh?"

Ron chuckled in spite of himself. "More so than usual, you mean? Definitely."

"If you're uncomfortable with this, we could just..."

"No way, K.P. I plan on seeing this until the end, even if I have to have to be covered head to toe in tapioca," he affirmed. No one would ever want to be covered in tapioca… then again, Kim covered in tapioca? Now that's… extremely perverted. He had to work on getting his mind away from the gutter… when he was in public. Just think, he could have all the lecherous thoughts about Kim at the end of the night.

He mind wandered a couple of hours ahead of himself. What would happen at the end of the night? A kiss? The cheek? The lips? The dreaded forehead? Maybe a flirtatious handshake wasn't out of the question either…

It had been nearly ten minutes before the waiter bought them dinner. Kim & Ron sat quietly, eating their respective meals. Neither one had much to say. They guessed that it was nice and such.

"What do you think, Ron?"

Well, between the fact his mystique is media hype and the fact that he runs better than the throws, I think Tebow is gonna suck in… oh, she was talking about the food?

"It's all right, I guess."

"Better than Bueno Nacho?"

"Debatable," Ron countered. "I don't know, I think I could do a bit better than this, though."

Ron Stoppable: Sidekick; Slacker; The next Gordon Ramsay… you donkey.

"So you're saying you'll cook for me sometime?" She asked, fluttering eyelashes all the way.

Whoa, I never said that and… is she batting her eyes at me?

"Sure, anytime." He hoped to providence that Kim didn't hear his voice break while he said that. Speaking of breaking, anytime literally meant _any time… that could mean a whole host of possibilities._

* * *

_**Any… time? By Ron Stoppable**_

_"Glad you came, K.P. You're in for something special tonight," Ron said as he gestured his best friend into the Stoppable home—and just for tonight, Chez Ronald._

_"You know I wouldn't miss it for the world… plus, I got you this," she held up a red apron that read, "Kiss the Cook" on the front of it. Well, wasn't she getting ahead of herself?_

_"Kiss the Cook?" Ron asked, his eyebrow rose in question._

_"Um-hmmm, I plan on doing plenty of that," she said, adding a kiss on his cheek for emphasis._

_Things had progressed so much further since their first date that Ron could barely comprehend it all. Even less so now that his less-of-a-best-friend more-of-a-girlfriend, Kim, had become more and more forward in expressing herself to the young man. It was something he was ready for, but not quite prepared for. He figured that he would finally get used to the redhead's at times sultry advances, and… hm, he had something on the stove didn't he?_

_Kim was going to love this; he was cooking her favorite tonight. Just a few more minutes and the secret ingredient… no, not an aphrodisiac, and she would be putty in his hands. Just as he took a wooden spoon to stir the contents of the pot, the object of his budding affections came sauntering in the kitchen._

_"Ah, ah, ah, K.P.," Ron turned to the side to scold her playfully . "No peeking while the master is at work."_

_"I can't help it, Ron. It smells so good…" Kim admitted, taking in the various scents of the kitchen._

_"Just a couple of more minutes, and your taste buds won't…"_

_"I wasn't talking about the food, Ronnie."_

_When did she get so close? Perhaps it wasn't a good idea for him to not focus on Kim as he thought as a pair of arms wrapped around him. Funny, he remembered putting on a small amount of cologne tonight._

_"Kim! Not so close…! The pot's scalding hot." He felt the apparition of her lips grow dangerously close to his ear._

_"The pot's not the only one,"_

_Ron gulped. This was a bit much… and… and… she was starting to nuzzle his neck. Was him cooking that much of a turn-on for her? Or was this the result of months of tension boiling over? Or… or…_

_"Ron-nnnnn," she teased, now applying kisses underneath the tie of his apron. He had to focus on dinner… dinner… oh, my, her hands were so close to his roll of quarters right now that he could barely contain himself… maybe dinner could wait a while. Kim teasingly calling his name was more than enough to him to get full upon._

_"Ronnn…"_

* * *

"Ron?"

"Ah, you can't K.P.! That's my spot…!"

"Ron!"

Oh, wait this wasn't his kitchen! This was that fancy restaurant and… Kim was staring expectantly at him. Ooh, he was having delusional daydreams again, wasn't he?

* * *

End of Part 1

**Chrome Notes:** So, I looked at my documents one day and I saw old Tales of the Awkward, Chapter 23 staring at me almost in an accusatory fashion earlier tonight. It said, **"You chrome-y bastard! How dare you keep me on the shelf for the last three goddamn years?"** I had very little to say in defense of myself. I could only sheepishly say to it that I wasn't quite settled with the way this momentous final chapter was going to be set up, and the rest of the cannon fodder that I would say when I make BS excuses. (Life, lack of interest in writing, work, college, et-al) Fact is, I still don't have a concrete plot lined up for the end of this and this early chapter is an offering to all the readers who have waited patiently for ol' S-Chrome to get off his arse and finish the damn thing.

So henceforth, my humble apologies for my tardiness and hopefully within (Please don't hold S-Chrome to this) a couple of weeks, and not before the six year anniversary, Tales of the Awkward will be finished... I hope, I pray.

S-Chrome


	23. Date Versus Destiny: The Final Stanza

**The Final Stanza II: Tales of the Awkward**

* * *

There was really was something to be said about the mindset of a teenage boy indulging in fantasies in the middle of a date. So now, Ron Stoppable had to all kinds of gymnastics trying to cover for his slip-up. This could be a serious flap he was looking at. Minutes ago, Kim just finished talking about his maturity being a reason why she turned a favorable eye in his direction in the first place. He didn't want Kim thinking that was some kind of lecherous pervert or anything like that.

"_What was that in your pants, Ron? I thought you kept Rufus in your pocket."_

"_Actually," he said slowly, in awe of how much leg he was exposed to. "I don't think the dress is short enough."_

…_My hips pressed __heavily __against her backside? Five seconds until the roll of quarters exposes itself… Abort! Abort!_

He figured that his only option was to tell the truth… even if it would result in Kim looking at him with the mother of all sideways glances. Speaking of sideways, didn't she say that she'd noticed him grow in other places too; other places, implying places that he wouldn't dare mention? He privately smirked at himself… looks like both of us are a couple of lecherous perverts, K.P.

"m-My spot?" He asked.

"You were majorly spacing out on me. What was that about your spot?"

He rubbed the back of his neck in apprehension. Should he really cop to having a rather T-to-M-rated vision regarding her?

"I kind of had a vision of you…"

Oh, he was in it now. Kim was now focused on him as he attempted to craft what he was going to say.

"…taking my favorite spot on the couch. It was very frustrating."

Damn… so much for honesty.

Kim eased back into her chair, almost in a disappointed way. She inwardly knew that Ron wasn't being honest like he usually was, but she was willing to let him slide for now. It must've been something intense if he was going to fib about what he was daydr… date-dream about. He practically was moaning as he was complaining about his spot. In spite of it, she smiled at him anyway, flattered that he would think about her that way. Sure, it was also weird in a way, but to be honest; it wasn't as if she didn't have some un-friendly thought sequences about the blond.

* * *

**The Ride Back Home by Kim Possible**

_It seemed to be an abnormally quiet ride home for globe-trotting heroine Kim Possible and her partner Ron Stoppable. Usually after foiling the plot of some world-domination minded sociopath, they would have a chat about whatever came to their minds at the time. But tonight, in a cotton-filled cargo jet, the ride was eerily quiet._

_Ron sat in the back next to the soft cottony mass while Kim stared out of the lone window. The redhead wondered about why no one was speaking. She snuck occasional glances in his direction. He seemed as he was thinking about something seriously… which didn't happen often. _

"_Kim, do you ever think…" Ron began, interrupting the silence. "About what might happen if something ever happened to you? Like, if Drakken or Shego, or any of those guys left you seriously hurt?"_

_It's a question that she tackled often, but her brimming confidence never forced her to look at that situation realistically. _

"_No-not really, why do you ask, Ron?"_

"_Because I think about it a lot, Kim," he answered. "I know you can do everything and all that, but… if something were to happen…"_

_It was so out of the ordinary for her to hear Ron think about things that way. He didn't seem too be shook up after this particular mission, and the result was just about the same as it always is, Kim kicks butt, the evil plan of world domination is foiled, and now the ride back home. Concerned, she took a seat next to him and took his hand in reassurance._

"_Is there something wrong, Ron? It's not often that…"_

"'_Cause there's so many things I wouldn't have got to say, you know?" He was avoiding her glance moments ago, now looked directly in her eyes._

_Kim's breath hitched in her throat. Where was all of this coming from? And, he looked so serious. She could almost feel a chill in the air as he sorted his thoughts._

"_I know you probably don't need it but I always want to be there for you, Kim," he said._

_He didn't show any signs of hesitation… and his admission left the redhead at a loss. He was so serious… and he was looking at her in such a way that was…there was something about him right now. His eyes smoldered with something she couldn't quite perceive. His voice usually wasn't what she would call alluring, but at this very moment, he sounded confident, reassuring, even… dare she say, sexy, like that delightful lead character in Batman Beyond. _

_She wanted to say something—she really did. Just as she opened her mouth to say something, the plane seemed to hit turbulence of some kind, and as a result of extremely contrived coincidence, the world-defending girl ended up being pinned down by her sidekick. If she was flustered then, then there was about to be a heat-wave of epic proportions—on her face alone._

"_Ron…" She could only manage a squeak. Then, she found herself speechless again at what was above her._

_His milk-chocolate eyes grew dark with desire… desire for her? She found herself short of breath suddenly. He just said something so heartfelt to her and… was so assertive about it, and he was so close now. She nearly could feel his breath tease her exposed skin ever-so slightly. She shut her eyes, not believing that this could be real and opened them once again. Same plane, same suddenly attractive best friend on top of her… and he was grinning at her._

"_It's for real, Kim," he said with that Terry McGinnis-like air before chuckling again. "I guess I'll have to thank the pilot."_

_Suggestive collisions were so awesome._

_Closer and closer he came to her, his lips puckered and she shut her eyes once more… this was for real. This was for real. This was for real…_

* * *

Oh, my… was it hot in here or was it just her?

Ron could tell that Kim's mind was somewhere else. The smile she'd worn on her face after his blatant lie stayed on her face and only seemed to get sillier and sillier over the past minute or so. He wondered what she was thinking about. Maybe she was fantasizing about winning something prestigious? Or maybe she was thinking about something awesome, like Metta World Peace's prodigious elbows, or…

Whoa, his mind was starting to wander a bit… again. Focusing back on Kim, he snapped a finger in front of her face, hopefully not loud enough for the other patrons to hear.

"Eh, K.P.? Did you hear what I said?"

Hear what you said? Wait! You're not on top of me… whispering sweet nothings in my ear! What's going on here? Oh. It looks like she had an immediate inappropriate fantasy of her date sitting across from her. Well, looks like she wasn't in position to chastise him anymore.

She snapped to attention. "K.P., I was saying we should… see a movie or something. I think we're starting to draw attention to ourselves."

Kim looked around the area of the restaurant. Hm, they did seem to attract some stares. She guessed that this is what came with the two of them date-dreaming about one another while at such a fancy spot such as this. Hopefully no one else what paying attention to Ron… after all, Ron was _hers_… for the evening, anyway.

"You're right, Ron," she said raising out of her seat and taking Ron's hand as he rose from his side of the table. "Let's go to a nice, dark theatre where no one will see us."

Ron stopped in his tracks as Kim dragged him about to the restaurant's exit. What was up with Kim's suggestiveness? It was as if the red-haired heroine had transformed into some sort of femme fatale… not that he was complaining, of course. In his eyes, Kim was free to take the lead on this date and going forward as she saw fit. It wasn't as if her leading the way and him following obediently was anything new to him. Then again, that Eric Matthews-look-a-like was right; he needed more confidence in himself. He needed confidence like the New York Jets needed a competent quarterback.

Then again, some things _were_ just flat-out impossible.

* * *

**Mrs. Dr Possible's Sensitivity Training: Session Three**

"I mean, Ronald of all people! I thought he would be the one to protect Kimmie from those lecherous vagabonds!"

"James, Ron, is a boy too, and maybe..."

"No, he's not, honey," James countered. "_He's Ron_!"

Mrs. Possible glared at her husband. Firstly, he interrupted her, and secondly, there was no way Ron was so different from the other boys that he assumed his own gender.

"You know, the somewhat asexual young man that has passing attractions toward young women but absolutely no attraction to his best friend who happens to be my, er... a loving father's daughter," the rocket scientist described.

"Jim, Kim has known Ron longer than she's known anyone her age," she then smiled. "I've always thought that it was just a matter of time."

(So Mrs. Dr. Possible _IS _a shipper, just like we suspected.)

"And why is that?"

"Because I remember some 22 years ago, this neurology major and an automotive engineering major who were friends for some time before..."

"So, you're saying that Kimmie and Ron are a direct parallel to us?"

Anne cracked a smile and nodded, hoping that this could win her husband over.

"Hm, I don't see it."

With a sigh, the brain surgeon reclined on the couch once more, hoping that she could find another route to break her husband's stubbornness.

* * *

A nice dark theater where no one could see them, yes? Well, for Ron, it felt like he was pawing his way through a fog. Funnily enough, his date was even admitted inside the theater after a heartfelt apology and that she would do her best to not disrupt the moviegoing experience for other patrons.

It was so hard to concentrate on things when you were on your first date with your best friend. From the drive-by daydreaming to misunderstanding certain situations to guys who sound suspiciously like you but only two pitches deeper from alternate universes giving you pep talks, but now trying to concentrate while your date is continuously reaching for popcorn in your lap… and seemingly coming closer to him every ten minutes during the movie they were watching.

He tried to rationalize the fact that he'd been down this road before—with Tara, but it was different, man. For one thing, he was pretty sure he didn't stick the tub of popcorn near his roll of quarters the last time he was on a date and another thing, it wasn't just any girl he was out with—it was Kim. Well, the least he could do is enjoy the movie, and maybe it was just him catching a good whiff, but Kim sure smelled good. Hey, maybe if…

"Hey, K.P.," he whispered to her. A compliment was in order here. "What's that you're wearing? I-it smells good."

'So, he does notice,' Kim smirked to no one in particular. After all, the perfume she was said was advertised to make men, 'melt into marshmallow paste.' Calvin Klein was certainly lacking in the ad campaign department nowadays. She decided to reward him by drawing closer to him, so he could get more of her scent.

At this moment, Ron was actively attempting to watch the movie, smell the redhead's perfume and/or shampoo, and debating whether to get a bit closer to her or not. Well, the movie seemed to be as predictable as most summer blockbusters, maybe without cars turning into robots, or president's-turned-vampire hunters and so forth. Would Kim really be upset if she found him focusing more on her than this snore-fest of a flick?

Kim had noticed that her sidekick's attention wasn't completely on the movie, and there was certainly nothing wrong with that. Her mind made up, she lifted the cup holder and boldly leaned into the young man and she immediately felt him tense up. Sure, she footed for the increasingly expensive tickets, popcorn and the sodas, but as long as the blond was distracted with her as the source of his distraction, it was all worth it.

Speaking of worth it… someone thought that it was worth it to tear this wonderfully budding relationship with every fiber of their being; someone who was devious in their mind, someone particularly prideful and unrelenting in the pursuit of the common goal of destroying Kim Possible once and for all.

"Look, I'm just trying to watch the movie," a disguised Shego said to an equally disguised Dr. Drakken.

Oops, wrong devious.

But, what was this? A lone brunette sat a few rows behind the pair; studying the sidekick and his date as they were lost with each other more so than focusing on the movie. They seemed to be having a great time in each other's company to say the least. Her conscience was telling her to let the two be happy.

But, heck with that! Why should she be happy?

She didn't necessarily hate Kim. She would like to say that she hated the head cheerleader, that would be easier to do… but resentment was more appropriate. Every time she had proved something to someone at any given time, there was that red-haired super heroine stealing the spotlight that she so richly deserved, and now that she found a weakness in the allegedly perfect Kim Possible, why _shouldn't_ she exploit her for its worth?

Oh, yes, she was going to get Kim Possible this time. And from the magic of fan-fiction related plot fatigue, the time was now.

The movie just about ended with neither Kim nor Ron remembering about much of the plot. Doesn't that sound familiar? Either way, both of them felt fairly good about the way things went tonight; Ron's pants had stayed in an upright locked position, and Kim didn't have any momentary lapses into a clingy creeper. As they strolled out of the theatre and into the hallway, things were looking up for the redhead and her blond beau.

Then again, when things were looking up, there's always a chance for turbulence.

"Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable?"

It didn't take for either redhead or blond to realize that they'd been found out by the most unwanted of sources. Worse still, the shrill outburst attracted the attention of other moviegoers. This… this wasn't good at all. Both glanced at each other, then turned around to see the smiling, deviousness in clear sight, face of Bonnie Rockwaller.

"Kim and Ron, what's going on here? Are you two on a… date?" She asked as loud as she could to attract even more attention to three of them. Sure enough, some more folks gathered around them. Both had the feeling that they were being boxed in. If there was any time for a publicist, diversion, overzealous bodyguard, now was the time.

"Did you guys know that just a few weeks ago that Ron was out on a date… that's shocking in itself…"

_Dude, harsh!_

"But the best part was that the world-famous Kim Possible was hoping in the treetops stalking her sidekick. Isn't that insane?"

The small crowd which had surrounding the high-school celebrities murmured in disbelief. Oh, this was just a Bonnie Rockwaller special, wasn't it? No, this was the Bonnie Rockwaller scorched Earth policy. The only way the brunette could put any more shame on Kim was if she accused her of drinking beer and eating fried chicken in the locker room during Cheer Regionals.

On one hand, she felt embarrassed enough to make herself as small and unnoticeable as possible, not unlike the defense of the Green Bay Packers. On the other hand, it took some kind of effort for her not to turn green and completely throttle the meddlesome brunette. Her Urge to Kill Bonnie meter was catastrophically high, but there were way too many witnesses around to not garner prosecution, conviction, and life imprisonment.

"Sooo, K. Are you dragging ol' Ronnie again?"

Ron saw the expression on Kim's face; one of apprehension and even hopelessness. He saw the growing smirk on the rival cheerleader's face. He thought back to the many times that Kim protected him from many of the ills of just about anything malevolent that came his way… even the dreaded lawn gnomes. That guy who closely resembled Duncan Fletcher appeared in his subconscious, urging him to return the favor. It was out of the ordinary, but this wasn't ordinary circumstances, now was it?

See, but tonight, it wouldn't be Kim defending Ron like the status quo dictated. He was an easygoing guy, leaving the confrontation to other people, all he wanted to do was go with the flow, but seeing Kim being berated by Bonnie on tonight of all nights was more than he could take.

He stepped in front of Kim and prepared to uncork a rant of epic proportions.

"Would you back off, Bonnie?" He asked. "Gosh, I don't know what your problem is with Kim but—"

The smirk vanished from the brunette cheerleader's face. The sidekick sticking up for Kim? She didn't like that, at all.

"Problem? How about the fact that she tries to be this paragon of perfection when in reality she's a creepy stalker? Or maybe the fact that everyone believes that she is? Or maybe it's the fact that you would so easily forgive her? If I were you—"

"You're not me," he said in the loudest voice he could muster. "Kim has been my friend for longer than I remember, and maybe if you weren't—"

The brunette was starting to get frustrated with this. Darn it, both were supposed to be shamed, for crying out loud. Maybe the two of them weren't worth it.

"I give up! It's clear my words are lost on losers on you two," she taunted as she turned her back from them and finding a spot to clear the circle of humanity who surrounded them.

"I'm not done!" Ron shouted. "People make mistakes and unless you're the only perfect person on the planet, you've made some too, Bonnie. And either way, if Kim made a thousand mistakes and picked the Boston Red Sox to win the World Series this year, I'd still stay by her side because… I care about her too much to just abandon her."

Bonnie scoffed at the blond's explanation. "I _am _perfect, compared to—"

Oh, no… not this time.

"Perfect? I don't think so. In fact, perfect isn't what I would choose to describe you," Ron said, almost flaring in anger. "No, if I had to describe you, you'd be a prissy, stuck-up, self-centered, gold-digging, snooty, conniving _Ho-Bag!"_

Oh, snap. Ish just got real up in the hizzy.

The onlookers gaped in horror, as did Bonnie, as did Kim… and Ron just pretty much felt everything he mustered up flew out of him once he uttered the word 'ho-bag.' Now, he just felt plain embarrassed. In fact, he felt a little faint and a little dizzy, but it was worth it, right?

He wanted to think that he wasn't giving himself away too much, but with a crowd of people surrounding Bonnie, Kim and the eavesdropping moviegoers watching him bare his soul… somewhat.

"I—uh, we should go," he quickly stated, gripping the hand of the perplexed redhead. The small crowd gave them the right of way before they began to disperse themselves. Heck, in all likelihood, this situation bought them more drama and entertainment than any flick about Abraham Lincoln slaying zombies ever could. This left Bonnie standing in the hallway alone trying to make sense of what just happened.

'That Ron Stoppable just stuck up for himself, and Possible, and just totally dissed me. That was… that was… he was…

…kinda sexy,' she smirked to no one in particular.

* * *

The return trip was silent for both Ron and Kim, and ironically enough, they found themselves walking through Middleton Park, the site of the 'Surveillance' debacle earlier in the summer.

Stoppable had hoped that he didn't go too far, but the look on Kim's face told the story. Well, at least if he was going to crash, he would crash spectacularly. He let go of Kim's hand and stopped at a nearby bench. He gestured for Kim to sit with him. Once seated, he couldn't find the gumption to look her in the eye.

"About back there, K.P. I have a tendency to say some.."

"Don't apologize," she interrupted. "I should be thanking you for forgiving me."

"Really?" Asked Ron.

"Of course," she said, a smile gracing her features for the first time in an hour or so. "Remember a few hours ago when you said I'd never lose you?"

He did remember and he nodded to affirm it. Even though it was about four hours ago, it felt like it was three years ago.

**(Wait, is that S-Chrome taking potshots at himself... again?)****  
**  
"Then, I'll tell you that no matter what crazy things you do and will do, the things you say, or what happens, you'll never lose me either. Understand?"

Ron started fidgeting a bit, what with K.P. looking so deeply at him like that.

"Are you sure that you're all right with me-"

"Really, Ron. You were great," she flashed a genuine smile. She placed the palm of her hand upon her sidekick-slash-crush's cheek and turned . Her smile grew as Ron's face began to radiate. Of course, she wouldn't have seen him blush if they hadn't been under a street lamp… but never mind that, at last, an uninterrupted moment. It was just Kim, Ron, and a mountain of awkwardness disappearing in the late evening air.

No words were spoken as she pulled her hand away from his flushed cheek and continued to stare at him and likewise.

Ron was certainly slow on the uptake from time to time, routinely failing the most obvious spot checks, but on this night, he was sharp and perceptive and there was something in those pools of emerald green that just made him uncomfortable in the most intriguing way. Those eyes, they were urging him to… he wasn't sure what to make of what she was urging him to do.

She wants me to? She's coming to closer to me… I, wow… her lips are puckering… deep breath, deep breath… don't faint!

There was absolutely nothing that could stop this moment from happening. No interruptions. No meddling parents, and certainly not...

_BOOM!_

...a mere act of God.

At that moment, the Lord himself most likely said something along the lines of, _"Yo, Kim & Ron, you guys have this romantic thing going, that's cool, I'm happy for you two, and I'mma let you finish, but a freak downpour is the greatest way to interrupt a romantic moment of all time! ALL TIME!"_

The culprit to break whatever moment that was about to brew was a hard, pounding rain. Kim looked up to the sky as if to question why it had to start raining now, Ron, while disappointed as well, was relieved that something was going to come along to break the oppressive heat and humidity. The heat between him and Kim, however, wasn't going to extinguish as easily as a downpour. Still, all these interruptions were starting to be a bit much. It seemed to take several seconds for either of them to realize that they were being soaked by the rain. Well, Ron realized it as it was hard not to notice heavy raindrops crashing upon you. Kim, on the other hand, was still staring intently at the sky, contemplating on how she could take her frustration on fate in the most brutal way possible.

"Eh, Kim, I know the lightning and pretty and all—" Ron was cut off by a rather loud crash of thunder. In his surprise at the sudden loudness the sky just emitted, he gripped his hands around Kim's waist, an impromptu embrace.

Kim was caught off-guard in a sense as well. Not by the thunder, but by the blond's arms clutching her midsection. Maybe a sudden thundershower wasn't so bad after all. Perhaps she wouldn't beat fate to a bloody pulp the next time she came face-to-face with it… but it would get lumped up pretty badly.

Still, coming down with a cold attempting to prolong a romantic moment was probably not in either of their best interests. So, Kim took the boy's hand and made a dash for her house, which had to be at least a half-mile away. It looked as if like they were going to get soaked anyway. Well, at least, they were still holding hands.

* * *

**11:02PM**

The clouds had appeared to part just as both Ron and Kim approached the driveway to the Possible home. The moon, previously obscured by thunderheads, now seemed to shine upon the two teenagers, as if the floating natural satellite wanted this moment to be as romantic as possible. For Ron, it had already been a crazy night. He still could barely grasp the concept that he was on a date with his friend… still, he was far from complaining, and now that the date was for the most part over and done with, he had no idea what was next.

For Kim though, everything about the night had been perfect, in the weirdest of ways, and she couldn't find a better way to end it than a rather certain… show of affection to conclude this near-perfect evening.

Both stood tentatively at the walkway, a few feet from the front door. Ron became a bit more fidgety than usual. What was he supposed to do now? Of course, if there was a miniature _Hitch_ on his shoulder, he would've had a good idea, plus he could break out some cool dancing moves, as well. Still, his date was glancing in his general direction, almost expecting him to make the next move.

"Sooo," he meandered. "Nice night?"

"It could be better," she replied, eyes still fixated him and a mischievous expression that seemed to unnerve Ron in a way that he couldn't describe.

"Better?" He asked uneasily. "So, on a rating of zero to ten, how did you rate this… this, uh…"

"Date?" She found the words for him. He still couldn't bring himself to say it.

"Yeah, that…"

"One to ten?" Kim asked rhetorically. "I'd say about six."

Six? Ron's left eye twitched. Six was only slightly above average. Six, was practically mediocre… much like Tom Brady in Super Bowls. Sure, earlier in the evening, he just hoped that he could go through this entire thing without abjectly embarrassing himself, and he did... many times with each flub being more embarrassing than the last, but that was simply pre-date jitters, or so he gathered. A six... a six was no good… at all.

"A six? Only a six?" Ron groused. Still, the smirk that made him uneasy never left the redhead's lips. Maybe she was just jerking his chain… or perhaps pulling his sausage…

Hm, where did such figure of speech come from?

Sure, she didn't seem to be too serious about rating their first date a six.

"It could be better," she said. Now, Ron wasn't the most perceptive when it came to girls, but he did know that if a girl was dropping a hint at him in the fashion that Kim was, that was usually a good thing. Plus, he noted that she said 'could be' rather than 'could've been,' which means there's still room for improvement, despite the fact that they were twenty steps from the Possible's home.

"Still, I had a great time," she continued… she appeared to be forthright with that.

"I did too," he quickly spoke up. As fast as he spoke up, though, he snuck toward her and planted a kiss on the red-haired girl's cheek. In the time it usually takes for lightning to strike, he returned to his original position, a foot or two from her, standing with his arms behind his back.

Was that… supposed to be a good-night kiss? Kim seemed bewildered at very the least. She placed a hand over her cheek. After spending the better part of a year and a half trying to sort out her feelings for the boy, and likely vice-versa, and now that they've gotten over this 'awkward' phase and go on a date, this is all she gets, _a lousy peck on the cheek?_

"What was that?" The smirk disappeared and a confused expression replaced it. Ron began stuttering and stumbling over every one of his words. It made the annoyance she felt toward him at the moment ebb away, and made her think about how cute he was when he stumbled over his words. Perhaps she underestimated how shy Ron was, especially with this being their first date. But, she had the perfect remedy for this.

With a playful glint in her eye, and subconscious encouragement from _Hormonia_, Kim advanced on the blond.

As the redhead approached him, Ron was a tad confused when he noticed that Kim had her lips pursed, and were headed in his direction. What's this about?

_**(Weren't they about to…? Like thirty or forty minutes ago. Ah, never mind.)**_

In a split-second, he perceived a flashback to a certain incident in the basement, where Kim was so comfortably on top of him, her eyes easing shut and her lips inches away from his. A sudden feeling of calm overcame him, the dizziness and butterflies in his stomach seemed to subside at a moment's notice. Tension quickly transformed into anticipation, as her lips came inches to his. Inches… centimeters… millimeters… what's the next smaller increment?

_Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep_

Two pairs of eyes jackknifed open to see what had interrupted them this time.

_The Kimmunicator? Now?!_

(Destiny 4, Date 3: The Boston Celtics would have been playing golf by now, or checking into the retirement home by now… whichever comes first.)

Kim pulled the electronic device out of her pocket and glared at it intently. Why was it that every time she tried to get close to Ron, something, someone, or some force of nature would always interrupt them? It's was almost as if someone up there or even down there wanted to prolong this tension between herself and Ron as much as possible.

(S-Chrome shrugs innocently. I claim responsibility for nothing. The muse willed it so, dad-gum it.)

The teen heroine stared a hole through the communication device hard enough to bore a hole through its circuitry. All she needed was a baseball bat, a getaway car, and a gangsta rap soundtrack and she would've rendered this interfering device to resistors and capacitors. Ron peered over her shoulder to see what Wade had for them. Thing is, that Kim didn't press the button to accept his call. Instead, she placed the Kimmunicator by her side.

Heck, the world could wait for now.

She tossed the Kimmunicator behind her shoulder and onto the lawn a few feet away from where they stood.

"Kim…why did-?"

Before Ron could finish his question, Kim turned around wearing nothing less than a predatory smirk on her face (Well, her clothes were still on, but you know... hyperbole and whatnot.) as she drew closer to him. Her gaze toward him kept the young Stoppable from saying anymore.

Ron had never seen the look on Kim's face before, it left him fearful and captivated simultaneously.

Before he could react, an arm slithered around his neck and pulled him in toward her. It didn't take him very long for him to realize that he was being kissed, what with Kim's lips so deliciously crushed against his. The sidekick fought tooth and nail against the urge to black out upon contact. He had kissed a girl before, but never been kissed quite like this, and for his money, he could definitely get used to something like this… provided he didn't black out within the next couple of seconds.

With his urge to faint dead away beaten back to a reasonable distance, Ron attempted in earnest to return what he was getting. His arms, while not physically imposing by any stretch, possessively pulled Kim closer to him, causing the girl to squeal ever-so-slightly. If this wasn't the best thing ever experienced in the young man's life, he was going to have to be shown something different… and then…

…was that, perhaps, Kim's tongue snaking its way into his mouth?

OK. We have a new best thing ever. Bar none.

After a moment or so, both Kim and Ron broke away from one another. Exhilarated and confused at the same time. Both inhaled deeply, eyes wide at what transpired. Green eyes stared at brown eyes, and likewise.

No words were said, however, a mutual understanding came between the two because as fast as they broke away…

…they went back into another clumsy embrace, this time with more intensity then the last. Once more, that tricky tongue of hers slipped past his lips and intertwined with his unsuspecting tongue. Her arms gripped his neck, deepening their kiss. His hands, perhaps still from the shock of his first kiss, immediately took hold of the girl's hips as they continued. They could've stayed in this position all night long had it not been for the need of precious air. Their breaths became short and ragged as their kisses became short but never the less urgent.

'What a way to relieve tension,' Kim thought as she continued to feast on her best friend's lips.

She had no idea where this sudden infusion of daring or passion came from, but now that she was experiencing something that felt as good as this, she didn't want to stop for anything. Ron... well, he didn't seem to mind either.

Speaking of whom, he proved to be a fairly good kisser, especially for a novice, Kim surmised. She felt the boy's fingers seemingly go through every strand of her hair. But, he could be better… and there was plenty of time for them to practice… and practice… and practice some more. Their kisses became so short that both began to miss each other's lips. In their fervor, Kim bit down on the boy's lip. Ron shrieked, but that didn't even stop them from devouring one another.

Kim tasted a hint of blood on her tongue as her hands roamed all over his back. Her hands then roamed lower until he felt the curve of his rather flat, yet cute bottom. Feeling adventurous, she gave his posterior a little squeeze. She absolutely loved how the boy gasped into her mouth as they continued to kiss. She had to make a mental note to squeeze him there many more times in the near future. In their frantic embrace, the boy seemed to lose his balance. They began to stumble about, unable to multitask being engrossed in one another and finding their equilibrium.

They began reaching around for anything safely rooted to the ground so they could keep the heavy embrace going for as long it could. Ron found it especially tough to move, what with Kim's dainty arms draped around his neck. Still, they fumbled about, alternating between kissing each other and clumsily searching for any sturdy object to hang on to. In their luck, a sturdy object was found.

"Owww!" Ron recoiled as his back connected squarely with the doorknob behind him.

"Are you OK?" Kim asked with concern.

"Ahh, yeah," he said with his trademark crooked grin.

"Good," she replied before attacking his ill-prepared lips with her own once again. With the door behind them, nothing could stop them.

Well, except…

"K-K.P.," Ron said reluctantly breaking their third official kiss. His chest heaved. "W-what about?"

Kim didn't bother to let him finish what he was going to say before she pounced upon him once again. Nothing was going to get in the world-defending girl's way of… letting her tensions loose, and they were being let loose all over her sidekick and no one who valued their safety would dare have the temerity to interrupt her.

Ron wouldn't dare protest being kissed by Kim. He was a bit concerned of the fact that it was now well past eleven, but still those lips beneath his was giving him a good reason to focus on other pressing concerns… like the fact that his _roll of quarters_ was standing at full length and hoping that Kim wouldn't notice. His hands that still roamed about the girl's slim, yet shapely waist, decided that turnabout was fair play, went a tad lower and gave a squeeze of his own.

Kim uttered something between a giggle and a moan. Whatever it was, it spurred her to up the ante on her end. She placed both hands on either side of the door, effectively keeping Ron where she needed him to be, and her lips ventured below to his chin and settled upon his neck, lightly nipping and biting along the way.

Ron groaned outwardly as the redhead dined upon his neck. He could barely believe what he was feeling. And while he felt kind of weird for him to be receiving these ministrations, he was supremely content with Kim taking the lead. Kim's actions become even bolder as she began to unbutton his shirt. Seizing the opportunity, he grabbed hold of her waist and spun her so that she was pinned against the door. Never missing a beat, they reverted back to kissing passionately.

"Ron," she whispered in his ear as he ventured into the crook of her neck. Her perfume did everything in its power to further entice him. Both of their hands had traveled all across each other's bodies, and were eager to do more exploring.

* * *

It had taken Mrs. Dr. Possible hours' worth of consoling and consultation to get her husband to not wait up for their daughter. Eventually the rocket scientist put away his trusty SHOTGUN and decided to call it a night. She had gone downstairs to fix herself a late night snack when she heard it—A slight rustling near the front door.

She wouldn't have given it much thought. But, since it was well past eleven at night and it appeared as though Kimmie hadn't returned home yet. After the rustling subsided, a pronounced knock broke the tranquility of the Possible home.

What was that? Kim wouldn't knock at the door, she has her own key.

Grabbing a Louisville Slugger ball bat from atop the cupboard, the Possible matriarch crept toward the front door, ready to serve whoever was at the door with some heavy lumber. Surreptitiously, she turned the knob of the front door…

* * *

One would think after several minutes of making out, one's lips would be tired from all the… full contact, but not Kim.

See, she could do anything… including making out with her best friend. For an extended period time, even.

They had returned to their prior position, Ron against the door with Kim fully in control. Neither one seemed to have a problem with it. In fact, neither Kim nor Ron had any regrets about the entire night.

Ron's eyes went wide as he felt the door turn in slightly.

"Kim-K-K.P.!" He stammered in a low voice. "We've…" He sharply gasped as Kim went for his neck—again. " –we—gotta stop… y-y-our dad!"

"No. No stopping," she insisted not bothering to see the concern in his eyes, recklessly going in for another quick kiss. Their lips connected once more before Ron broke it again.

"No… I think..."

She then growled at him to quiet his concerns. OK, never had the blond previously thought a girl growling it him would be so hot. He gave up his concern any doom that came with the door opening and Kim ambushed him again. Heck, he rationalized as he and his partner moaned from the pleasurable sensations, being aggressively kissed by a growling, attractive, and apparently sexually frustrated Kim Possible wasn't exactly a death sentence in any sense of the word. It was probably the best thing in the world that he could hope for at the moment. The world was such a crazy place... as unpredictable as all get...

...click...

And, just then at that moment, it was the end of the world, and it had nothing to do with December 21st, 2012.

Both brown and green eyes went wide as the door that Ron was propped against, suddenly gave way, causing both he and Kim to go sprawling toward the carpeted floor of the Possible vestibule.

Busted. And how.

"M-mom!"

On the plus side, Mrs. Possible was relieved to see that these potential burglars were simply two hormonally-possessed teenagers. Problem was the fact that one of these hormonally-possessed teenagers was her daughter who seemed all too comfortable to be on top of her best friend.

"Kim? Ron?" She nearly squealed in a flurry of intrigue and confusion.

Just then, a couple of scamps, or rather tweebs, ran into the scene of the crime, curious as to what was going on.

"What's going on?" The twins simultaneously asked from behind their mom.

They pushed past their mother then saw the rather compromising position that their sister was in; on top of her best friend, and definitively in a way where one would jump to conclusions.

"Gross!" They both hollered before taking off somewhere they can puke in unison.

Ron felt that it was probably a good idea to get from beneath his date, but his body couldn't, or more precisely, _wouldn't_, cooperate. Kim wasn't doing a good job of helping him out either.

"KP, a—," Ron whispered with a stammer. "Are we going to die?"

Kim didn't give him much of an answer to work with. Still, after a night like this, especially in the fashion it concluded, it felt like everything in life for both of them was going to go downhill from there... from a romantic standpoint strictly speaking, perhaps death wasn't the worst option in the world at the moment.

* * *

**The End**

So, after nearly six years and change of stuff. Tales of The Awkward comes to an end. Hopefully, the payoff… if you will, was enough to satisfy years upon years of waiting patiently or not-so patiently.

So, yes indeed, ladies and gentlemen. I will take all questions, comments, and concerns at this point. Somewhat.

S-Chrome


End file.
